Yeah, I...have. Back home. Her name's MJ. Uh, well, it's Michelle, but. She started going by MJ just with friends right after we met, so...but she doesn't remember me anymore. It's better that way, though. She's safer. She's gonna go to MIT. That's a big deal tech university, like, the best one in the country and she deserves it and I want her to be happy and that's why she can never, ever know who I am ever again.
[ There's not a story with a million pounds of baggage there or anything, nope. Also why is he talking about his own sad bullshit when Balthier is talking about someone that makes him happy? Ew, way to be a downer, Peter.
But this conversation kind of goes somewhere else, with Balthier's dad, and Peter literally cannot fathom what that must be like, feel like. ]
Even if you didn't get along with your dad, that shouldn't have been up to you, that's so messed up. I feel like saying I'm sorry can't even touch that. But...I'm sorry anyway.
[ Gold star for attempt? ]
I...I never knew my parents, actually. They died when I was a kid. My aunt and uncle raised me.
[ Source unclear about when Peter's uncle died, but he was close to his aunt. ]
My aunt May was killed a few weeks before I came here. I couldn't save her. I was right there. And I'm supposed to be this big fucking hero, you know? I'm Spider-Man. I helped save the universe. I mean, I had to...die for five years, I guess, and we had to mess up time and it was this whole Thing that I don't think I could explain to you or anyone very easily because it's a lot of things that don't make sense even when you lived through them or saw them on the news and everything involving some really massive cosmic powers and other planets and things. But May was right there. She was the best person I knew. And I know she'd want me to still be a hero, but sometimes, man, it's so hard.
And now no one at home gets to remember me. Which is how it should be, like, if they knew who I was, they'd be in danger too, and more people might die like she did.
[ He's skipping around some because of how his brain works about it; he's not giving the Reader's Digest condensed version (a reference he's too young and too internet to get) on purpose, it's just how the wound bleeds when he can't get it under control fast enough.
He manages to catch up with that snowball effect somehow, probably because he needs to breathe. He can feel that building panic, the thing he holds barely in check most of the time, the holes inside him shaped like Tony, shaped like the May, shaped like MJ and Ned who aren't dead but who are lost to him, shaped like everyone who are right there but who don't see him anymore, Happy at his aunt's grave but who doesn't know him.
Jesus, it's a lot.
Breathe. ]
Oh, I...I don't actually know what they're like about queer people here? They're not great about it back home, so it's not really something I'd go around advertising. The high school has mixed gender bathrooms which is really great so trans kids don't have to, like, out themselves just to use a bathroom or something. But it's still, like, I dunno. Seems more transparent to trust a lady who's like, hey, here's the reasons I support what I do, and I want meta people to live their lives how they want, versus the idea that you have to be a hero.
On the other hand, I mean...one of the last things May said to me was that with great power comes great responsibility. I don't just wanna give up on helping people. I got these powers for a reason! I wanna help. I really do! I just...wanna do it on my terms. I don't know that I wanna do it on Atomight's terms. That's all.
[ He looks back over at Balthier. ]
I'm guessing you don't mean, like, a judge like a dude who sits in a courtroom and is like "you're guilty go to jail" huh?
oh my god these keep getting longer i'm sorry
[ There's not a story with a million pounds of baggage there or anything, nope. Also why is he talking about his own sad bullshit when Balthier is talking about someone that makes him happy? Ew, way to be a downer, Peter.
But this conversation kind of goes somewhere else, with Balthier's dad, and Peter literally cannot fathom what that must be like, feel like. ]
Even if you didn't get along with your dad, that shouldn't have been up to you, that's so messed up. I feel like saying I'm sorry can't even touch that. But...I'm sorry anyway.
[ Gold star for attempt? ]
I...I never knew my parents, actually. They died when I was a kid. My aunt and uncle raised me.
[ Source unclear about when Peter's uncle died, but he was close to his aunt. ]
My aunt May was killed a few weeks before I came here. I couldn't save her. I was right there. And I'm supposed to be this big fucking hero, you know? I'm Spider-Man. I helped save the universe. I mean, I had to...die for five years, I guess, and we had to mess up time and it was this whole Thing that I don't think I could explain to you or anyone very easily because it's a lot of things that don't make sense even when you lived through them or saw them on the news and everything involving some really massive cosmic powers and other planets and things. But May was right there. She was the best person I knew. And I know she'd want me to still be a hero, but sometimes, man, it's so hard.
And now no one at home gets to remember me. Which is how it should be, like, if they knew who I was, they'd be in danger too, and more people might die like she did.
[ He's skipping around some because of how his brain works about it; he's not giving the Reader's Digest condensed version (a reference he's too young and too internet to get) on purpose, it's just how the wound bleeds when he can't get it under control fast enough.
He manages to catch up with that snowball effect somehow, probably because he needs to breathe. He can feel that building panic, the thing he holds barely in check most of the time, the holes inside him shaped like Tony, shaped like the May, shaped like MJ and Ned who aren't dead but who are lost to him, shaped like everyone who are right there but who don't see him anymore, Happy at his aunt's grave but who doesn't know him.
Jesus, it's a lot.
Breathe. ]
Oh, I...I don't actually know what they're like about queer people here? They're not great about it back home, so it's not really something I'd go around advertising. The high school has mixed gender bathrooms which is really great so trans kids don't have to, like, out themselves just to use a bathroom or something. But it's still, like, I dunno. Seems more transparent to trust a lady who's like, hey, here's the reasons I support what I do, and I want meta people to live their lives how they want, versus the idea that you have to be a hero.
On the other hand, I mean...one of the last things May said to me was that with great power comes great responsibility. I don't just wanna give up on helping people. I got these powers for a reason! I wanna help. I really do! I just...wanna do it on my terms. I don't know that I wanna do it on Atomight's terms. That's all.
[ He looks back over at Balthier. ]
I'm guessing you don't mean, like, a judge like a dude who sits in a courtroom and is like "you're guilty go to jail" huh?