[Kon is thoughtful for a little while, looking away because he knows it'll be harder for Tim to hear this if he's looking right at him.]
[When he speaks it's firm and fast and forceful enough to make it hard to interrupt. Tim needs to hear it and he knows even just pieces of it might make him close off before he can hear all of it.]
First of all, it's not putting anything on us. If our positions were reversed you'd be there for us the same way.
Two...
[He figures out how to word it.]
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Like a lot. Way more than even all the ones you were there for.
[His Hawaii and Cadmus days had included quite a few...including Tana.]
But one of the worst ones I ever made was not leaning on you and the other Titans after what Luthor did to me. I shut everyone out and hid myself away in the dark. I felt guilty, and I felt small, and I felt like I didn't deserve to put what happened to me on anybody. I didn't even talk to Ma and Pa about it.
I just...hurt. And I barely tolerated it when Raven showed up to help me. But if the rest of you had come, I would've pushed you away and kept hurting. And I think...I think if I hadn't, if I'd let myself fall apart when I needed to, around people it was safe to do it around, I could've put myself back together again a lot sooner. And moved on.
You can't pretend this doesn't hurt. Or that it's easy to hold it together right now. I can hear everything in this house. I'm not trying to, but I can.
[That includes the crying. He doesn't say it, but it implies it well enough.]
You don't have to hide it in the dark like I did. It's hard to let go, but it's also hard to deal with it like that in its own way.
[He finally looks at him again, expression bleeding not pity or concern. Yes, he's feeling concern - and protectiveness - but that's not what steals its way into his expression the most.]
[It's just love. Radiating at him. A willingness to just be there, out of love.]
You also don't have to stay awake to be safe. If you go to sleep, it'll be to me and Bart hanging around, and when you wake up, it'll also be us, as close as you need us. Even if you need us right there.
no subject
[When he speaks it's firm and fast and forceful enough to make it hard to interrupt. Tim needs to hear it and he knows even just pieces of it might make him close off before he can hear all of it.]
First of all, it's not putting anything on us. If our positions were reversed you'd be there for us the same way.
Two...
[He figures out how to word it.]
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Like a lot. Way more than even all the ones you were there for.
[His Hawaii and Cadmus days had included quite a few...including Tana.]
But one of the worst ones I ever made was not leaning on you and the other Titans after what Luthor did to me. I shut everyone out and hid myself away in the dark. I felt guilty, and I felt small, and I felt like I didn't deserve to put what happened to me on anybody. I didn't even talk to Ma and Pa about it.
I just...hurt. And I barely tolerated it when Raven showed up to help me. But if the rest of you had come, I would've pushed you away and kept hurting. And I think...I think if I hadn't, if I'd let myself fall apart when I needed to, around people it was safe to do it around, I could've put myself back together again a lot sooner. And moved on.
You can't pretend this doesn't hurt. Or that it's easy to hold it together right now. I can hear everything in this house. I'm not trying to, but I can.
[That includes the crying. He doesn't say it, but it implies it well enough.]
You don't have to hide it in the dark like I did. It's hard to let go, but it's also hard to deal with it like that in its own way.
[He finally looks at him again, expression bleeding not pity or concern. Yes, he's feeling concern - and protectiveness - but that's not what steals its way into his expression the most.]
[It's just love. Radiating at him. A willingness to just be there, out of love.]
You also don't have to stay awake to be safe. If you go to sleep, it'll be to me and Bart hanging around, and when you wake up, it'll also be us, as close as you need us. Even if you need us right there.
Not him. We won't let it be him.