[ “I felt guilty, and I felt small, and I felt like I didn't deserve to put what happened to me on anybody.”
That’s what Tim is struggling with, spoken succinctly with so much more emotional awareness than Tim could manage.
He feels… seen. Borderline exposed. And the full blown panic attack is only staved off by focusing in on how they had different reasons. So Kon’s heard him talking to Bart here and there. Maybe he heard that Tim was upset. But even though the feelings are the same - the underlying reasons are different.
Poking hole after hole until Tim’s convinced Kon doesn’t know that Tim feels guilty and small, or why. ]
That was different. This is - I’ve been knocked around before.
[ Minimize it. Contain it. Push back against all the care and love because it’s only there when Tim’s on the verge of cracking up. Nobody’s ever that soft with him, even Dick would’ve noogied him by now. ]
I’ve been tied before. This is an outsized response due to…
[ Why is it so hard to fumble through a cohesive excuse? This should be simple. Just do what he always does and carefully comport himself. ]
I don’t know. A TBI that hasn’t fully healed? This is the best process to handle anything, really. I put it away and find something else to work on until it feels… less. It’s what works for me.
[ Every single hardship and trauma Tim’s come up against has been handled by him noping over a mental wall to throw himself into a mission or project. ]
I just want to work through it, but no one will let me. I don’t want him to be what needs special handling. I don’t want B to know that this is what I can’t handle. This is nothing. I’m fine. Everyone’s fine. No one’s dead. I keep reminding myself that I’m fine, and if I can pull it together enough, I’ll find something to do to drown him out. And then I’ll sleep.
no subject
That’s what Tim is struggling with, spoken succinctly with so much more emotional awareness than Tim could manage.
He feels… seen. Borderline exposed. And the full blown panic attack is only staved off by focusing in on how they had different reasons. So Kon’s heard him talking to Bart here and there. Maybe he heard that Tim was upset. But even though the feelings are the same - the underlying reasons are different.
Poking hole after hole until Tim’s convinced Kon doesn’t know that Tim feels guilty and small, or why. ]
That was different. This is - I’ve been knocked around before.
[ Minimize it. Contain it. Push back against all the care and love because it’s only there when Tim’s on the verge of cracking up. Nobody’s ever that soft with him, even Dick would’ve noogied him by now. ]
I’ve been tied before. This is an outsized response due to…
[ Why is it so hard to fumble through a cohesive excuse? This should be simple. Just do what he always does and carefully comport himself. ]
I don’t know. A TBI that hasn’t fully healed? This is the best process to handle anything, really. I put it away and find something else to work on until it feels… less. It’s what works for me.
[ Every single hardship and trauma Tim’s come up against has been handled by him noping over a mental wall to throw himself into a mission or project. ]
I just want to work through it, but no one will let me. I don’t want him to be what needs special handling. I don’t want B to know that this is what I can’t handle. This is nothing. I’m fine. Everyone’s fine. No one’s dead. I keep reminding myself that I’m fine, and if I can pull it together enough, I’ll find something to do to drown him out. And then I’ll sleep.
[ The plan’s really coming together. ]