metalogs | Laugh as much as you choose,

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Laugh as much as you choose,

Who: Jason Todd

robintohood, Bart Allen

lowercase_el
What: A couple of crappy nights after being ~~kidnapped~~ forcefully relocated temporarily to Little Love to cool off before he can go Joker hunting
When: July 8th-ish or 9th-ish, after midnight
Where: Little Love, at Bart Allen's residence
Content Warnings: Possible talk about mental health, trauma, torture, and the Joker's general horribleness

[Jason knows the Joker's still alive and still running wild. He doesn't care if he has to tear through Central City's underworld before he can finally kill the psychopath. Anyone who knows Jason well enough knows how dangerous his single-minded ruthlessness can be, which is why Tim alerted Kon and Bart after the young man was rescued. They all know Jason can't be trusted to be alone now that the Joker's around.

Right after his last fight against the Joker but before Jason could begin his new plan for vengeance, Kon and Bart confronted him. Between Kon's tactile telekinesis and Bart's superspeed, it was easy to disarm and restrain Jason before zipping him away to Bart's residence at Little Love.

With no weapons and no means of escape for now, an enraged Jason stormed off into a guest room to brood and plot rather than talk to anyone. For a few days, Jason hardly left that room except to use the bathroom or to snatch some food from the kitchen.

Once again, no one understands why the Joker needs to die. Once again, Jason feels like he's on his own. Jason didn't need anyone and everyone should be focused on Tim anyway. Tim's the one who was injured and mentally traumatized. Jason's used to taking care of himself.

Unfortunately for Jason, his own mind and his memories don't want to leave him alone. For years, Jason has had a terrible sleep schedule but in light of the Joker's latest crimes, Jason's having more nightmares than usual. For the first few nights, the few hours of sleep he got were interrupted by him jerking awake. Then he would be too tense to fall back asleep. Then one night, he woke up screaming.

Shaky and sweaty, he gets up and walks out of his room. His heart's pounding hard against his chest like he just ran a marathon. He needs air. He needs space. He needs something to get himself to stop feeling trapped and helpless]

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Jason wasn't the only one having an increase in sleepless nights. Bart hadn't been at all surprised by his own dreams being technicolor replays of some of his bigger failures. Which is why the older Robin found him in the kitchen, puttering around as he waiting for the saucepan of milk to warm for yet another round of cocoa. He was beginning to see why David found cooking relaxing, although for him it was the almost ritual of it, the way one can fall into the steps of stirring this and that together as he works.

Kat-El is actually out for a surprise, considering a house full of strangers, the small black cat drinking a small amount of milk that was as much of a treat as Bart would give him. No chocolate for cats. It's not as bad as for dogs, but they still can't really tolerate it. Besides, Bart totally expected the cat to bolt if anyone stirred, giving him a little warning.

Jason stops when he sees Bart in the kitchen. He hadn't expect anyone to be awake at this hour. He's still angry at him and at Kon for dumping him in Little Love and had been trying to avoid them as much as possible. It seem easy enough to do as he figured they would be more worried over Tim.

Now he feels awkward. Maybe he's not the only one having a rough night. It makes sense. The Joker has that effect on a lot of people and Bart and Kon are clearly good friends of Tim's.

Jason takes a steps back. Maybe he should just stay in his room and try to ride out the jitteriness, like he had been during the previous nights.

"Cinnamon or cardamom?" Bart asks aloud, mostly at the cat, who stops drinking to look at him with a meow that might be inquisitive or just acknowledging the pattern of being spoken to. He's thinking over what to add to the cocoa to make it just a little less hot chocolate milk and more relaxing distraction. The cat seems determined to help, and leaps on the counter next to him, knocking over one of the spice containers as if their opinion means something.

That gets a very different reaction, the speedster turning to fix the cat with a disapproving stare and a sharp gesture with his free hand.. "Kat, down."

That half-turn also has him seeing that bit of movement as Jason retreats. The fur-monster notices as well, and leaps down and into one of the lower cabinets, peering anxiously out from a half-open door. "Darnit..."

Bart sighs, and shakes his head. "Why don't you come in and join me for cocoa? Sometimes it even works as a sleep aid."

Damn it, Jason thinks when Bart spots him.

He takes a moment to consider his options. He could just ignore Bart and go back to his room, which is something he's been basically doing for days now. On the other hand, as much as Jason wants to go back to sleep, he knows he's too wired to do that anytime soon. Maybe if he just avoids certain topics, taking Bart's offer will do him some good instead. It's too late in the evening for anyone to do any arguing.

Jason steps into the kitchen and takes a seat.

"Stovetop cocoa?" he asks, curious.

"Made sure to bone up when Tim went missing, since I figured it would be needed," Bart explains. It wasn't his first thought, but he'd needed the distraction, and David was good people like that. "One of the advantages of knowing a guy like Prodigy is just how much useful information he has at his fingertips."

Bart had actually considered asking him to drop by, but given Tim's attempt to hide everything, and now Jason's complete withdrawal, it wasn't a great idea.

"Any preferences? Tim usually just goes for the boring."

"Cinnamon. Heard you mention it," Jason replies. There wasn't much use hiding that fact. "I met Prodigy when the Confluence dropped me here. Seems like a decent guy. We fought potatoes."

"It came up. Well, that Red Hood had. B asked him to help with the present Joker left where he snatched R, and I prefer not to think about how those two met. But I've known him for going on two years now, and he is definitely good people," Bart says, adding the spice in and stirring, taking a clean spoon to taste after a bit and check how everything is going along.

He pauses, then, leaning against the counter next to the stove and looking at Jason with eyes that seem almost to glow in the dim light of the under-cupboard light. He wants to try to help, but he doesn't really know how. So he waits while the cocoa reduces properly and considers another pair of golden eyes, those of the cat, who has actually stuck his head out.

"You met Kat-El, yet?"

Jason gets the feeling Bart's giving him an assessing look, like the speedster's unsure how to approach him. At the moment, Jason isn't sure if that's a good thing. He doesn't want to lower his emotional defenses but with just the two of them in the kitchen late at night and both sleep-deprived, it feels awkward.

He's grateful for the focus on the cat.

"Heard them," he replies. "With a name that, don't tell me they're Kryptonian."

It's a weak attempt at a joke but it's better than awkward silence.

"Yeah, he's been the kind to just wedge himself in places and hide since he was a kitten. That's how we got him. I got him. A Kon that isn't the one here but was on a different Earth found him wedged in a pipe abandoned, and we tried to foster but he just had too much separation anxiety to actually go to another home," Bart says, smiling fondly. "We didn't name him for so long that when we finally had to, we just jokingly combined our heritage. So he's Kat-El Allen."

A mild shrug, and Bart gets down a couple of mugs for the cocoa. ladling carefully into them.

"Still working on naming all the hens, too. I just don't want to go with Speckles and Streak and stuff."

Though he's spent much of his time brooding in his room so far, Jason does occasionally hear the flock.

"What are the names you got for them so far?"

"Barbara's the smart, independent one they mostly follow around, and Jane's the speckled one who keeps forgetting to come in at night. The others haven't really any personally quirks that stand out," Bart says, bringing over the mugs and putting one near Jason before turning back to clear the stove until he can clean up. "It was actually funny when Barbara turned out to be red. The problem with easter eggers is they're basically a stable hybrid of several breeds so you never quite know what they'll actually look like from when they're chicks."

Jason makes a small amused smile as he hears about Barbara having a chicken named after her.

"Yeah, I heard you gotta wait a while before you can be sure about the sexes."

Jason then takes a sip from his mug.

"Mmm," he says, satisfied. The cocoa isn't the same as what Alfred makes but it's good enough for now. "Thanks."

"To be actually certain, yeah. Vent sexing chicks is only about 90% accurate. I did get one rooster but I found him a place elsewhere. I don't actually want chicks, just eggs. The girls should start laying around September."

He shrugs, then adds, "Can't really take all the credit. My teacher can really cook, he just broke it down so even an impulsive idiot like me could do it."

"Well, this pretty good for an early attempt," Jason says before drinking some more. During that brief silence, he thinks about what to say next.

"Why are you doing this?"

Jason can't help but wonder. Bart clearly knows what a danger he is.

"Look, I can't actually stop you from going out and pounding pavement or pounding heads, or even pounding heads into pavement looking for that bastard. But I can try to make sure you're not coming at it from the wrong place. That you're not going to get yourself killed or something equally dumb.

"Because if anything, anything happened to you, it would kill Tim. Because he considers you family, and he's mine," Bart says, very seriously. It's true. If Jason could get his hands on transportation easily, he'd be gone. It's only the rural location that keeps them isolated. Not safe, exactly, but not the first place anyone would look.

Jason's quiet as he absorbs that information. He's still confused about why Tim considers him family but that's a topic he'll explore later. Jason also feels oddly comforted from knowing how much Tim's team cares about his little brother. Tim has friends and a support network. Jason knows Tim won't turn out like him. He'll recover.

Jason drinks some more before responding.

"You could treat me worse. This--" Jason holds up his mug. "You didn't have to do."

"I know. Red Hood is the cautionary tale that good heroes tell their sidekicks about going to the bad. And that's totally bullshit. Because, yeah, some of us have done worse things in our time than others, but...sometimes there really isn't a choice," Bart says. "And I always make enough for several cups. it's no big. And you aren't the only one here having trouble sleeping."

He'd never been tortured by the clown, but he had been beaten to death, and he remembers too well the sensation and sounds of bones breaking under repeated trauma.

"You're not alone in this house unless you want to be."

Jason shifts just slightly in his seat, uncomfortable. Given his approach as the Red Hood, he hasn't really had communication with his Earth's superhero community for years now. It feels strange hearing someone talking about him that wasn't just total condemnation. He doesn't know what to make of it.

"Don't worry about me. Tim needs the help a lot more," Jason says quietly.

"Maybe. But that doesn't mean you don't need a place to land, too. The gods know Bruce isn't going to give you one," Bart tells him.

"Tim needs different help. He's still trying to minimize things and hide them from us so he can get back out there. Pretend he's fine like if he tries hard enough he can fool himself."

A pause. "I'm going to worry about you, regardless. Because I absolutely know what it feels like to know the person responsible for your death is still alive. That ultimately, the other heroes wouldn't cross that line. I got a little lucky in that the Rogues did what the Flash wouldn't, but...it also means I'll never know why he changed again. I thought Inertia had decided not to be part of the legacy he'd been forced to inherit, that he'd learned something living in my shoes."

Jason goes cold as he listens to Bart's story. Kids really don't have any business doing this kind of work.

"Could he have been manipulated?" Jason asks with a softened expression of sympathy. "As for Tim... well, unfortunately trying to shove down your feelings to focus on the mission is a family trait."

"He seemed to be acting on his own. But I can't trust that someone hadn't pushed him. Thad always was...volatile. The worst part was that we're twins, more or less. He was raised to believe he was a more improved version of me."

Flash family stuff is weird. "It could also have been losing his speed, being forced to rely on other methods to get the power he was used to. Either way, it didn't end well for either of us. And I really didn't expect to get another chance."

"How'd you come back?" Jason asks. He highly doubts a Lazarus Pit was involved given how highly guarded they are.

"Speedster loophole," Bart said, grimacing a little. "Turns out that if you're connected to the Speed Force, you become a part of it, and someone with the right knowledge and a little luck can use that. Apparently that's well within the skills of a twelfth-level intellect."

Is he happy about it? Well, he's not displeased to have another chance at life, and not to make the same mistakes, but it didn't exactly come with the most pleasant memories.

"I don't exactly relish the idea of being the Speed Force equivalent of King Arthur, brought back whenever the world has need of me."

Jason frowns. It's a lot of unfair pressure to put on anyone, much less someone so young.

"Yeah, doesn't sound very glorious to me."

He pauses to take another sip and to think of how to word his next question.

"How do you do it? How do you move on knowing full well what happened and what the Flash won't do? How'd you handle it while Inertia was still alive?"

"One foot in front of the other. I couldn't kill him, either. Believe me, I wanted to, but...I couldn't," Bart said, and looks off. "I have been responsible for purposefully ending a life exactly once that I know of, and the whole universe was at stake. I still have nightmares about that decision."

He takes a long sip from his mug, thinking. "I don't expect my reasons to change yours. I just know I've buried enough people in my time to not want to add to the count."

Jason nods. He appreciates Bart not trying to push him in any particular direction. Jason still needs space to clear his head.

"They're very personal decisions. What works for one person doesn't mean it'll work for another."

It's something he wishes more people understand.

"At least I know I'm not the only one who was murdered and came back."

"After Superman, all the cool kids are doing it," Bart half-jokes. Then pauses. "Did that even happen? I know things are kinda different between worlds."

He just doesn't know how different. Things...well, there's a second Batman here, after all. One that as far as Bart knows isn't any of the Robins, or it would have been mentioned.

"Honestly, it kind of helped that by the time I got a chance to breathe, I wasn't in the same universe as anyone involved in that. And I made some good friends who helped with keeping my head on straight. Not to mention the cat. Furry beast has major anxiety issues."

"Superman's death and then his return? Yeah, that happened," Jason replies. "Not sure how many other superhero deaths happened though. I wasn't keep tracking for a lot of them."

Jason was more focused on anything related to Batman instead. He then looks to see where Kat-El might be.

"Kat-El seems cute."

"At least now he's big enough you notice when he's trying to hitch a ride with you," Bart said, remembering having to put a mirror by the door. "He clawed up quite a few leather jackets hanging on. We started putting extra fabric on things just so he wouldn't destroy them."

The object of their discussion seems perfectly happy to stay in the cupboard, only visible as reflective eyes in the darkness.

"First thing he had to learn was harness stuff because otherwise we never would have been able to do anything with the brat."

Jason softly chuckles as he looks back at where Kat-El is.

"He sounds like a little terror," he jokes.

"He has social and separation anxiety, which isn't exactly unexpected given his trauma. Most likely he got separated from his littermates and scared into hiding where the mom couldn't get him. He latched onto any support and I've worked hard to get him to the point where most people don't even realize he's not exactly normal. Like I can't really leave him alone for long periods without a lot of planning. That's part of why he's leash-trained."

A pause, and he glances towards the cupboard again.

"That cupboard is his. Mostly his dishes and something to lay on. There are other places throughout the house that are set up for him to hide. It took me a solid month to get him to even try the catio. He totally freaked the first time he saw the fields here. Before this I was in a suburban ranch in Florida."

"Is it stressing him out that Tim and I are here?" Jason asks sympathetically.

"Not too badly. He thinks more of people as his territory than places, so if I'm not bothered, he isn't usually," Bart tries to explain. It's hard to give the proper weight to concepts humans doesn't actually rely on in their social bonds.

"I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. But I've learned the danger signs. Usually before he starts spraying or anything. Just don't shift stuff around too much, especially the cat furniture."

Anyone looking around the farm would easily see shelves and window ledges and stuff designed to give a cat a place to be that isn't underfoot.

Jason nods as he drinks more of his hot cocoa.

"Easy enough. There wouldn't be a reason for me to touch that stuff. He seems pretty shy at the moment."

Edited 2022-07-30 23:36 (UTC)

"He's more prone to find a place he feels safe and lurk, watching, than actually do much with strangers in the house. If you want to get on his good side, I'll show you where the treats and toys are put away," Bart said, shrugging a little.

"It'd give you something to do besides brood and plot."

Jason quietly thinks about the offer. It's not like he's been hiding what he wants to do and how he feels about being stuck here. These last few days have been exhausting, depressing, and aggravating. He doesn't have any of usual gear. He's just... stuck.

Maybe an occasional break with someone who won't ever judge him on his moral choices will do him some good, even if that someone is a cat.

"Yeah, sure. If you don't mind," he finally murmurs.

[It is roughly ass o' clock in the morning when Jason wakes up and Kon is already in overalls and is about to put on some muck boots. (There was no way he was staying on the farm for a little while without actually doing farm work so he'd made a quick trip to the Dollar General for clothes.)]

[When he sees him up, he looks thoughtful. His first instinct is to leave him alone because there is certainly some bad blood there on Kon's end. He hasn't forgotten how Jason treated Tim in his version of the timeline.]

[But this doesn't seem to be that Jason.]

Hey. Come help me feed the chickens and collect some eggs.

[Light is only just inching over the horizon.]

[Jason pauses to consider the offer. He hadn't cared at all about doing farm work since wounding up in Little Love. But at the moment he's too wired to go back to sleep and he's already brooded and tried to plot for several days now. It's exhausting on several levels. Maybe some physical activities might help distract him from the nightmares. The sun's about to be up anyway]

Yeah, sure. Let me change.

[Jason steps back to the guestroom to change his clothes]

[When he gets back out there's a clean basket in his hand.]

They're still pullets so there might not be any eggs yet, but it's worth a look.

There's also an extra pair of muck boots on the porch that might fit.

[He steps outside.]

[Jason puts on the muck boots and follows Kon]

Bart mentioned some of the chickens are named.

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Laugh as much as you choose,

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