[ Spider-Man slowly lifts the other hand, palms out, a sign of surrender before a fight even begins. ]

I'd really rather not fight you, but I also can't just stand by and let you kick the stuffing out of a guy either — it's sort of a Superhero Code of Conduct thing. You sure we can't just, I don't know, casually and peacefully end this little misunderstanding?

[ He spares a quick glance for the direction the poor schmuck had been dumped off by this kid and his snake before turning back. ]

I'm not saying this guy ain't bad, but leaving him to the authorities might be our best bet here.

[ ... not that he's had a chance to meet any authorities just yet. But they've gotta exist, right? ]