lowercase_el: (017)
Kon-El | Conner Kent ([personal profile] lowercase_el) wrote in [community profile] metalogs 2022-12-23 04:26 pm (UTC)

["It's not always.. for a physical place. Sometimes it's for people, or-- or ideas."]

[Like a whole world you left behind. One that knew you, that remembered you, that loved you because you'd loved it so much you'd died. A bunch of the heroes remembered him now, but the public has no clue who he is and more importantly, he still wonders sometimes about the people that weren't there in that fight.]

[People like Roxy, Rex, Makoa, Serling, Dubs... And had Guardian been in the fight, so that he'd remember him, too? He hadn't seen him. With Roxy, it especially hurt to think about it. She'd been wild, always on the run, living a crazy life, but they'd been like siblings before the end. And each time he'd run into her after, it was clear she still felt the same.]

[He hasn't sought them out. He'd rather just think they're out there somewhere, that they can magically remember, that the good he'd put into their lives was something they still carried with them, rather than find out the truth and deal with the heart ache.]

[But then he says that stuff about Clark and the word "brother" and he looks completely taken by surprise. That Jon might see him that way. That he wasn't in that general amorphous state of "random cousin."]

You don't have to apologize. You're busy being Superman.

[To his credit, he barely falters in saying it. There's only a slight twitch of something in his eyebrows that betrays his feelings on that are more complicated than he's saying. Because Jon doesn't deserve the baggage of that.]

And Clark just - you know, it was weird? All of it.

[He immediately starts making excuses.]

Like they stole his DNA and cloned someone when he didn't have a choice. And then they said I wasn't his clone, I was just a human clone that was genetically engineered to be like him, so he was like "hey I'll just occasionally do mentor stuff."

Then he brought me to live with Ma and Pa and was like "hey, you're like a little brother." Or cousin. And that was great.

[He hangs his head a little.]

But he found out half my DNA came from him, you know...

At the same time he found out where the other half came from.

That can't be easy. I was made to hurt him. That's why Luthor made me go all Manchurian candidate and attack the Titans and Outsiders. So Clark would have to face down all their mentors after they were dead, and know someone he'd cared about did it.

[Lex had been crazy. He'd thought Superman wouldn't be dead for good, at least if not by his hand. And he'd been right. So he created something to be there after his return.]

[What had he said? While Kon felt like he was drowning in his own body? "I know more about The Alien than anyone on this Earth. Kryptonite and magic will hurt him, but that's not what will destroy him. It never will be. You have to reach deeper. You have to find something he loves - or create something he will love. He loves his boy. And when his boy turns against the Justice League's children, when Superman buries those coffins, well that... that will kill him."]

So I get it. And then I didn't exist, and then I did, but he didn't remember me, but then he did.

It's got to be weird for him, but it's cool. You know, he said we were bros.

[It's a rush of defense for Clark because he struggles with the idea he can be wrong, that he can be anything less than perfect. It needs to be justified because if it's all completely reasonable, it won't matter.]

[What he has will be enough. It'll be okay he decided Jon would be the next Superman, even though Kon had so much experience being a hero and Jon probably could've used more time to recover from being stuck in absolute hell anyway. It'll be okay that he decided there could be more than one Superman - but not three.]

[If there's a good reason, he can try to not be hurt. He can try to not be angry. He can just swallow it down and know that maybe it was just never in the cards.]

[And maybe...]

[Maybe he can walk away and wear a costume that hurts a little less. Jim had been good to him. Even if he walked away.]

[And he can't be mad, because Clark is the only one that hasn't walked away. Dubs had. Jim had. Most of the older Titans had. He should be grateful that Clark's still around at all. (And of course he'd spend more time with his actual kid, but he's his dad, it's different.)]

I don't know how that works with you, but I mean, you know, you can have a bro-like relationship with other family. It's a weird situation so it's all just labels but the bro-ening itself would be good.

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