[He shouldn't have told the kid off. He knows he shouldn't have. A good person wouldn't have, they would have tried to help, or comforted him, or at least gotten up.
But Accelerator just lies there, because he isn't a good person. He's just trash that deserves to sink into this stupid void.]
Fucking hell.
[Except he knows that isn't how it goes for either of them. He always wakes up (or after getting shot, is saved by that doctor and support from the Sisters), and Red - Jason, apparently - comes back to life. Somehow. They never actually talked about how that worked.
Was that supposed to be it? Him talking himself into getting back up and just - living? Which makes no sense scientifically, but if you consider it on existential terms then maybe it does. Sort of how like, when someone is dying and their brain is shutting down, the chemical imbalances or medicine running through their system can cause them to hallucinate bizarre things or reach all kinds of strange epiphanies. Hell, his brain had hit the latter when Kihara had been trying to kill him and and Last Order, and his choker battery ran out.
... But he doesn't consider himself the introspective, philosophical type. He doesn't know what this is or supposed to be, just that for himself it feels a lot more comfortable than the alternatives. Who the hell knows how Jason felt about it. If his guess is right, then maybe he hated it and he listened to that kid, and that's why he's alive now.
no subject
[He shouldn't have told the kid off. He knows he shouldn't have. A good person wouldn't have, they would have tried to help, or comforted him, or at least gotten up.
But Accelerator just lies there, because he isn't a good person. He's just trash that deserves to sink into this stupid void.]
Fucking hell.
[Except he knows that isn't how it goes for either of them. He always wakes up (or after getting shot, is saved by that doctor and support from the Sisters), and Red - Jason, apparently - comes back to life. Somehow. They never actually talked about how that worked.
Was that supposed to be it? Him talking himself into getting back up and just - living? Which makes no sense scientifically, but if you consider it on existential terms then maybe it does. Sort of how like, when someone is dying and their brain is shutting down, the chemical imbalances or medicine running through their system can cause them to hallucinate bizarre things or reach all kinds of strange epiphanies. Hell, his brain had hit the latter when Kihara had been trying to kill him and and Last Order, and his choker battery ran out.
... But he doesn't consider himself the introspective, philosophical type. He doesn't know what this is or supposed to be, just that for himself it feels a lot more comfortable than the alternatives. Who the hell knows how Jason felt about it. If his guess is right, then maybe he hated it and he listened to that kid, and that's why he's alive now.
He's wondering about that.]
Goddamnit, did you even have a choice?