His fingers dig so hard into his own flesh he may well split it beneath his nails. It’s agony not to be able to hold David, and worse, that resisting doing so is making him want to pull away emotionally too.

The tears, he hopes, are some level of relief because at least he isn’t protesting anymore.

“I love a man who has to carry that with him and hurts over it,” Balthier says in the gentlest, most soothing voice he can muster. “That’s good enough for me.”

He cannot imagine doing that to Fran, but he can fathom some terrible situation that would force it on him, and how horrific it would be to live with that. David still has to learn to trust him, to accept his love, but he’s understanding a little better why it’s so hard for him.