metalogs | Fear and Loathing in Excelsior

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Fear and Loathing in Excelsior

Who: Balthier

portolan and anyone else!
What: A mysterious object leads to a horrific week of fear and misery
When: May 21
Where: Excelsior
Content Warnings: death, violence, phobias, memories of characters worst traumas – this is fear based; please tag specifics for your threads.

CWs: death, violence, phobias, memories of characters worst traumas – this is fear based; please tag specifics for your threads.

OPT OUT OPTIONS: Don’t be in Excelsior or don’t be hit by a spell yourself. Players may also limit to smaller scale fears, or avoid specific fear topics they don’t want to play out.

FEAR AND LOATHING IN EXCELSIOR

An ancient artifact releases three pixies intent on spreading as much fear and chaos as possible. When they hit someone with their spell, their fears manifest, with effects worsening the longer the pixies are free. To escape the spell, characters must face their fears or be trapped in the fear cauldron. Once the pixies are captured, the captured souls will be released and the manifestations will fade, though the damage caused will remain.

ANTIQUES ROADSHOW —

Downtown Excelsior may seem like an odd location to open an antiques store. One wouldn’t think that the chic youth of today would be interested in dusty relics of the past. Yet ask anyone and they will tell you this shop has been around for decades. Rue Moore once reported that it's particularly beloved by the Society and that was how it was able to stay afloat through the changing times, speculating that they use it to move black market goods.

Step inside the high end building and find yourself disoriented by the clash of differing time periods. French Rococo chandeliers, a pristine settee owned by John Adams, an honest-to-god suit of medieval armor, and a few framed sketches by Rembrandt and the like. There’s an electric thrill, as if you could reach out and touch history - though some of that may be the high number of protection magicks being employed.

Whatever you touch is probably worth more than your annual salary. You break it, you buy it.

Balthier is standing at an antique desk plucking away at a laptop as the first few volunteers arrive. He gestures for them to head to the classy bar tucked in the corner. You’re free to enjoy a glass of rich wine and high end appetizers, chatting amongst yourselves about the task at hand while the host finishes his work. As the crowd gathers he shuts his computer and ushers them into the back room, where even more antiques are carefully stacked. Among them are the offenders from the network post and a stack of additional concerning items.

A Little Bit Of Pixie Dust

The biggest puzzle of the night is a medieval cauldron. Intricate carvings depict great tales of monsters and magic. The most notable carving of all is three human faces engraved next to three creatures: a fae, a shade, and a troll.

Search as they might, there’s no record of this object in any database. At the end of the day this one is the only one left identified. As the last remaining investigation team members turn away to pack their things, they miss three small lights slowly rising from the carving’s open mouths. As the door shuts behind them, they may miss the sound of giggling. Or the soft swish of a tricky spell hitting you squarely in the back.

Pixie Magic is unfortunately difficult to detect, after all.

But the first spell cast is a sign these fickle spirits are picking up an old game. Who can create the most chaos? They're powered by human suffering. All fear that they collect returns to their cauldron, making them stronger and increasing the distance they can travel from it.

They are not discriminating and their targets are random. Anyone hit by their spells will become the victims of their fear manifestation spells. Each pixie specializes in a different kind of fear.

The first specializes in internal conflict. Think you have a face like a horse? Well now you might be Bojack Horseman. Worried you’re annoying? Well now you can’t stop doing every annoying habit you’ve ever had. Terrified you might be stone-cold and heartless? Congrats! You're turning into a statue.

Afraid of being ignored? Day 1 you might notice more people are ignoring you. As the spell progresses, no one is returning your calls or texts, people are avoiding you, and you are having trouble being served at coffee shops. By the end of the week, congratulations, you are no one can see or hear you!

These fear spells may be defeated by the character facing their fear or someone where someone helping them see they are still wanted or safe despite their flaws.

The Second Pixie specializes in interpersonal conflict. Maybe your love life explodes. Maybe your worst nemesis returns to harass and humiliate you. Whatever it is, you’re having trouble with others.

EXAMPLES: One day 1, you might be increasingly aware of your significant other's flaws or the health of the relationship. By midweek, you may find yourselves hitting each others buttons and fighting constantly. By the end of the week, you both may be compulsively playing out every flaw the other person perceives you to have.

If you have a nemesis from your past who haunts you, you may find yourself having more memories and dreams of them on Day 1. By Day 3 you might start seeing their face or signs of their work around town, or impacts of their presence. By the end of the week, they may full-on appear in this world, with all their powers, threatening to repeat that terrible memory if you don’t stop them.

These fear spells may be defeated by literally defeating the other person, or by reconciling with them. They could also be defeated by accepting reconciliation is not possible but removing the person's access to you (or to destroying the city, RIP).

The Third Pixie specializes in person versus environment conflict: packs of angry chihuahuas. The weather. The sidewalk opening up to swallow your ankles. Awakening dormant magical creatures. A super volcano going off.

EXAMPLES: You hate the cold and can't shake a chill. By midweek, the temperature around you is literally 10 degrees colder than everywhere else. By the end of the week, you are the eye of a blizzard.

These fear spells may be defeated by overcoming the physical obstacle through whatever means necessary.

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...

Perhaps you failed to overcome this challenge. Just as you succumb to your worst fears, your eyes open and you find yourself standing in an empty space. Others are there with you, looking equally as forlorn and lost.

And then it transforms.

You and your fellow victims are now trapped in a HELLISH LIMBO. You’re living out one fear after another – whether it’s yours, or that of one of the others who failed to overcome their fear in the world outside.

In this hell your very worst fears are realized. And there’s no way out. The pixie’s magic brings things in, but it doesn’t let them out.

Those who have not succumbed to their fears may be drawn to the back room of the antique shop, finding the cauldron abandoned but overflowing with power. The magically inclined may be able to find the seam on this pocket dimension and ATTEMPT A RESCUE.

But more concerningly, the carvings on the cauldron appear to be glowing. What was once a fanciful depiction of ancient battles now appears to be a warning that the worst is yet to come.

These powerful creatures need to be defeated and returned to the cauldron. They have fanned out across the city and will be encountered separately, so teams may wish to form. They cannot be killed, but wounding them will bleed out their power until they can be re-sealed on the cauldron.

The only trouble is you need to find them.

Transformation

As the pixies amass more and more power from the fear they’re generating, the range they can travel from the cauldron increases. The further they can travel, the more fear they can inflict. And where better to feast than a city built upon consumerism, where fear isn’t dealt with but bought off. Perhaps you may spot the flickering light of a pixie out of the corner of your eye, but it’s gone in a flash.

Eventually though, they trade speed for power. As their power crescendos the pixies begin to change shape. By the seventh day, all three of them have shape shifted into much larger and more imposing forms.

The first pixie will become a beautiful and terrifying fae. They make themselves at home in the city’s enormous man-made park and offer fae bargains to those foolhardy enough to trust them. Strength won’t overcome them, but a quick thinking mind might.

The second becomes nothing but a shade. It slides under cars and along walls, hiding in people’s shadows and whispers their darkest fears. This entity can’t be held down or stopped with physical force, but it recoils from the light.

The third rampages throughout the business center in the form of an enormous troll. Like the other two, this entity cannot be stopped with force. Excelsior’s artificial weather systems may be needed to slow this beast down.

AFTERMATH —

Once the pixies are restored to the cauldron, their fears in the city fade away and trapped characters are released, physically unharmed but mentally shaken. The damage any fear manifestations did to the city remain, but any people or objects they conjured fade away within the day.

The cauldron cannot be destroyed, so something will need to be done to keep it from wreaking havoc again.

IN SUMMARY...

Balthier asks for help identifying magical objects. Characters interacting with one object in particular awakens sleeping magic inside.

When the pixies first awaken, they must stay close to the cauldron to sustain their power.

Each pixie's fear spell works on a different kind of conflict (though characters can be affected by more than one, or cured and then affected by another). As the week goes on, the manifested fears will worsen.

Characters can defeat the fear spells by facing their fears or by someone else helping/interfering.

The pixies must be defeated and returned to the cauldron.

Comment HERE if you'd like to be involved in taking out the pixies!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ he’s so relieved at the way David clings to him. And of course he nestles around David, holding him tightly, because even if they’re fighting he wants this.

But part of him is still upset because he gets to feel scared and betrayed, too, David.

But he doesn’t even begin to dig into that, not for fear this time, but because the end of that needs to be addressed. ]

I didn’t make up a name. That’s my birth name. Ffamran mied Bunansa. I changed it when I was 16 — except I didn’t. The Confluence did something to my memory. I — Balthier is just a character I made up and for some reason I thought I was him. I have the books. It’s — it’s pathetic David. And you’re right. I should have called you or come to see you but you so clearly wanted nothing to do with me. And I deserved it so I thought for once in my life I’d just listen if the outcome was going to be the same.

[ he’s shaking and his voice is catching on his tears, his words tumbling out. One small advantage of being Ffamran is he isn’t nearly as good at keeping his emotions in. ]

You ask me to share my feelings with you but then you get so angry with me when I do. I know I muck things up. I know I’m a mess. Scions I’m trying so hard but I feel like I’m not supposed to get scared or upset back. I need support and patience too.

Except I’m asking you for that when I haven’t been honest about who I am.

[They have so many issues they need to address. None of which David is touching on now because he is looking at Balthier in true bafflement and surprise.]

I'm not sure how to react to it being your real name or not, but you are Balthier and I can prove it. So you need to stop lying to yourself about that already. You are Balthier, and he's real as I am. You've been honest about who and what you are, even though you hide, a lot. We both have issues with being open and vulnerable. But you never lied about who you are.

[ they both hold so much back that now it’s a swell of debris. But at least they’re talking.

Still, Balthier — Ffamran — is yet in the throes of the fear spell, and it’s swelling now that David’s himself and can reject him properly. Or worse, be hurt by the real Ffamran and not an act. ]

I didn’t mean to but I deceived myself and in doing so I lied to you. Look.

[ he pulls away because if he doesn’t do it now he’s not going to and he has to be honest with David if there’s and hope— well he won’t get ahead of himself.

He slips away only far enough to grab one of the books, pressing it into David’s hands. The illustration of Balthier is cringeworthy, all macho piracy and nonsense. ]

I never left. I didn’t tell my father no — youre right about me. I’m arrogant like my father and a coward like my mother. I shoved everything down and I was so good at lying that I convinced myself. But the truth is I’m nothing, just a complicit cog in a government that hurt so many people, someone who spins stories to not feel so alone. But I never took risks, I never let anyone in. Im — just the parts of me you hate. With old reason I’m not accusing you. I don’t much like them either, even if I’ve been too timid to change them.

[ he gets through the ramble, but it’s not the detached voice David is used to when Balthier’s upset. His voice is catching and his face is red and the tears are there and he’s so full of shame. ]

[David lets Balthier put the book in his hand, but honestly? He immediately sets it aside. And rises to his feet to move for the stairs.]

Anyone can make fake books, Balthier. Items remember. I'm going to prove it to you. I'm going to find a memory in your things that you haven't told me, and I'm going to tell it to you, and you'll understand.

You can lie to me, you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to the impartial observers of your life. And those you can't hide from a psychometric.

I’m trying not to lie.

[ the thing he truly has no idea about is which lies of his father’s he internalized a long time ago, that he’s still giving power to.

But he doesn’t protest further and follows David because either he’s right or he’s wrong and Ffamran will take that into account before he argues again

And maybe he’s aware this may be the last time he sees David, because the fear that he’s being left crawls right back into all the spaces they talking over ]

[David looks around. The ring, he... he doesn't want to touch that again.]

You have the clothes you arrived in, right? Or your Mom's earrings? Come on, we both need you to see how wrong you are. Because you are a fucking noble and considerate person. And sometimes an asshole too, but we both have that quality.

[ Ffamran stops, his mouth actually open at David’s comment.

Because somewhere between this terrible week and their being at odds, he’s slowly convinced himself that there’s nothing for David to love about him, real or not. He thought this was just proving a point, but it’s…he’s trying to build Ffamran up, or Balthier really, but he’s not tearing him down. This isn’t a spar. ]

Help me look. I — they were missing when I tried by myself. But if you remember them too they must be real.

[ the earrings would be better. They’d been with him for both names. They’ll be sitting with his jewelry if David looks, but Balthier won’t see them unless the other man points them out. More of the spell. ]

[It's an evil spell, thanks. David grumbles and starts by checking the jewelry box. And of course there they are, quite obviously placed. Which makes David frown at them for a moment.]

These are them, right? They're not missing. They're right here.

[ Ffamran frowns. He literally does not see them ]

I don’t — wait, yes. How did you …? I looked so many times.

Uh huh. How did I literally fail to notice my heart wasn't beating for days?

[Because he can feel it so well now. He's acutely aware of it now that it's back.]

How did I not check in on the man I love more than anything for days? Fucking magic.

[With a sigh he reaches out to pick the earrings up and take them into his hands.]

You're responsible for me if these give me a migraine, got it?

[And then he sinks into the psychometric power, demanding the earrings give their knowledge to him.]

[ he’ll need the information about David’s heart again once his brain is working. Because right now the spell is just seeping back in around whatever they aren’t literally talking about, erasing anything that might convince him he’s real and worthwhile.

But he does catch the ferocity of David’s disdain at not checking in on his love, his more than anything love and his entire chest aches. David’s back, at least, and scions he wants to be worthy of receiving that love.

He has to force himself to clench his fists to keep them from shaking, suddenly convinced that those earrings are going to show David whatever perfect secret will be most appalling to him. But he can’t keep dragging them through these lies because his ego is so delicate.

He does manage, though, to say with some hurt —- because that’s the other piece, that he’s never valued — ]

I always take care of you when I know something is wrong.

[There is so much. Weight of Balthier's life, and before that of his mother. For now he lets the memories wash over him, seeking out something that might have stuck in Balthier's mind as a relevant memory. So he has to twist apart several, figure out how they fit back together, and only then does he look back at Balthier.]

Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, he's someone important's son, right? Is that why you were shocked to see him in that... I don't know what the city's name is. There are so many cities. But it's high up. Something about a mine?

[ Balthier -- because the memories are solidly his -- frowns. ]

Bhujerba. The Lhusu Mines -- that precocious little manipulator. Brilliant -- most of the reason we had a political solve to the war. He's likely the King now. He'll make a good one too; loved his people, loved his country. Good heart.

[ his eyes are darting at the memory, and for a moment he's himself.

and then a headache replaces it and he drops onto the edge of the bed. ]

No, that's -- that didn't happen.

[ because he was clever and gallant and there to help someone he'd wronged, and it was the day he'd decided he was done running, that he was going to help end this terrible war-- ]

I was under my father's thumb. I never left. The war was an utter annihilation. We took the other countries. I--

[ He's not sure which is worse: having been nothing, or having been something and being an utter disappointment here when he should have been capable and experiences. ]

Yes, it did happen. That child, he had nethicite, from your father's lab? And he helped a young woman. Penelo was her name, right?

[Still, then he's snickering at what comes next.]

Explain to me why some foolish young man is shouting his name is Basch, when the earrings put them on some strong looking blonde man with a scar and who would definitely look better clean shaven?

[David sits down next to Balthier.]

You know how I knew that the kid Loki had been fooled by a spell or something? Because the clothes didn't remember properly. They didn't remember. These do? She had a beautiful voice by the way. Your mother. Your illusions haven't shown me that, but they remember her voice.

[ the barrage of details is a good move -- it's too much for the spell to seep in between, pulling up memories Balthier had packed away. and, more than that, it makes him feel seen to have David passing his own judgement on stories Balthier can only tell.

he snorts at the comments on Vaan and Basch. ]

Vaan was a uniquely...rash individual. We needed to draw attention, and Basch was a known kingslayer. For such a wildly attractive man he had no personality to speak of and terrible taste in hair and fashion. Hated me on principal for being a pirate. Hated more when the princess, his sworn charge or some noble nonsense, was willing to work with me.

[ As David sits down, Balthier slides beside him, head going to his shoulder. His voice is quieter this time. ]

She did. I -- I'm glad there's a way for you to see her. I hadn't considered.

[ a pause. his chest entirely tight, his voice barely a whisper. ]

You still want to be with me? When I let you down? Knowing I don't know how to be vulnerable or supportive or trusting when it matters? That I can be as grand of an ass as my father? That I'm going to let you down again because I'm trying but Scions I'm a mess and I don't know how to be better but I want to be and I want so badly to make you feel loved and I'm terrified and ashamed that I couldn't do that when you needed me to be so much more.

[ you still love me, even though I'm human and flawed? ]

If I thought it might comfort either of us in this moment, I'd kiss you senseless to make you understand I'm not letting you go. I choose you, with every breath, when I am myself. Even when I'm too stupid. Even when I fail to be properly respectful of you. I still love you. But you are you.

[With that he holds out the earrings.]

You should put these back in, when you don't need me to be a pillow. I think you deserve to look like yourself. Like Balthier. We're not going to touch that other name. It's a dead name.

[ he'll want to kiss David again, want to feel that desire and adoration between them, but right now it would only kick up worry that he was only being kept around for his physical abilities. so this is much better.

especially because he's finally hearing it. that's his David, full of conviction and singleminded love. for Balthier.

he takes the earrings from David, head still on his shoulder, interlacing their fingers. ]

I don't hate him, you know. I don't even hate that I was him. I'm just terrified of being as trapped and powerless and he was. Of being left the way he was, over and over.

[Yeah, well David still feels vaguely cold, so he really didn't think he'd be good to kiss right now. But the hands with their fingers tangled together is nice. Really nice.]

But you're not him, not anymore. This is you. Maybe those books are true in some degree. There's a chance some in some world there is a Balthier who never became Balthier, who wrote flights of fantasy. But that isn't you. You're the Sky Pirate Balthier, who has stolen my heart, so I swear the next time you try and break up with me by text I will smack you. Because you will deserve it.

But I hope you don't try and break up with me at all.

[ The reminder of how the multiverse works -- that it doesn't matter who he could have been because he is this Balthier, is extremely comforting. As is the way David holds his hand back.

He even chuckles at David's threat. Not that it isn't deserved. David's right, though; Balthier wouldn't have done that. ]

Noted, though next time you try to tell me you are heartless I'm smacking you. Maybe it will get you to your senses faster.

[ He tightens his grip on David's hand, though. ]

Last week I would have told you that the only person I wasn't going to fight for your heart was you, but clearly I will. Even when I'm not myself and don't think I deserve to have you.

If I ever try to break up with you again, take me to Strange or Loki. Unless there's a spell afoot, there's no universe where I let you go.

Yeah, I don't... I don't think a smack would have done it this time. I'm sorry. It was like I was stone, but not physically stone? Just stone inside?

[God that scares him. The ache in his chest that had been there, and then had been gone entirely.]

I hope you breaking me free means I don't have to worry about seeing Belasco out of the corner of my eye all the time anymore. It's been hell.

[The idea that there is no universe where Balthier would leave him is comforting. But he doesn't believe it.]

[ well this Balthier is not leaving this David, and some other day they'll have to address that David keeps asking Balthier to trust and believe him then doesn't reciprocate.

So long as that's true, Balthier is going to worry he's done something wrong.

But today he hears the hurt and fear in David's voice, and his mind is clear enough to really process how deeply miserable that had to have been for David. So he pulls his hand free only to wrap his arms around David, tilting the other man's head against his own even as he strokes David's back. ]

You know that isn't the real you anymore than that was the real me, don't you? Even if some other David in some other scenario could become heartless, that doesn't mean this one can.

[Well, that helps. And maybe after this they need to find a quiet place to sit down and talk it all out. They need it. They need to be open if this is ever going to truly work between them, and they both want it to work, clearly.]

I know. And yet I fear it with all of my heart. That I will become a man just like that. That...

Shit, I told the Kid Loki that I could take over the world if I wanted to, and that I had ideas. Because I was making them. Fuck.

Because of a spell, love. A spell that is incredibly good at making us believe whatever we fear most.

[ He thinks to Ripley and Loki too. With his mind clear, it's fitting together better.

But David's still so scared, even with the spell released. ]

Having the capacity for something isn't the same as being fated to act on it. The fact that you fear it is everything. My father -- I have no memories of him ever considering the downsides to his ambitions to better the world. He was so sure he was right, and anyone else was a fool. Even when he was hurting the people he claimed to love, he didn't relent. Except he never loved them at all. That's not you.

[Being called 'love' matters. Helps. ANd he squeezes Balthier's hand, because it's what he wants, what he needs.]

I know. I... I know. You've seen your father's darkness and that helps you see it's not in me.

[ it helps so much that David'd believing him, that Balthier's perspective matters in a way that helps ]

I'll remind you when you need to hear it. And that you're good and kind and brave. Making mistakes or being afraid doesn't change that.

[ his voice is gentle, and the hand not squeezing David comes to stroke his face. ]

You can't fool me. Even when I'm out of my mind and you're acting out the thing you're afraid of. I see you.

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