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LOVE POTION #9
LOVE POTION #9
LOVE IS... not in the air! The reintroduction of Confluences into this world has left it rocked, so the season of love is not quite as lovey-dovey as it usually is. People are stressed and anxious. Valentine's events are being cancelled left, right, and center in fear that a Confluence may catch young lovers unawares.
Unbeknownst to mortals, the God of Love really can't afford his month to be ruined by a few little dimensional catastrophes. This is his month! ... And for whatever reason, he seems to be stranded on the Earthly plane.
Surely he can fix things. Push it along a little. Though Gods don't usually meddle in mortal affairs, this is a personal catastrophe. All it takes is a few drops of love potion on a token of affection, and voila! Instant-connection.
(This event has a blanket warning for dubious consent of the love spell variety. To opt out completely, characters can simply not be in Sunset Falls at the time of the event, which runs through Valentine's Day.)
Unbeknownst to mortals, the God of Love really can't afford his month to be ruined by a few little dimensional catastrophes. This is his month! ... And for whatever reason, he seems to be stranded on the Earthly plane.
Surely he can fix things. Push it along a little. Though Gods don't usually meddle in mortal affairs, this is a personal catastrophe. All it takes is a few drops of love potion on a token of affection, and voila! Instant-connection.
(This event has a blanket warning for dubious consent of the love spell variety. To opt out completely, characters can simply not be in Sunset Falls at the time of the event, which runs through Valentine's Day.)
WHITE HEARTS FESTIVAL
Welcome to Sunset Falls, the most magical place in all of America! Literally. The streets are charged with magical energies, and while it won't be spinning your words into spells, it will give anyone who is magically inclined a comfortable little buzz. Maybe it's the boost you need to get a spell working, or maybe it's just a pep in your step. Confluence-displaced metas who take the Guilds up on their offer to tour the new housing will arrive just in time to witness the an annual tradition: The White Hearts Festival, a festival dedicated to all forms of love - familial, friendship, and romantic.
The whole town is decked out in pinks, golds and reds. Town square has been overtaken by food booths peddling elaborate meals and desserts with various magical effects. (It's probably better not to ask why some of the cookies being handed out are in the shape of anatomical hearts.)
- Eat an emoji cookie and find yourself sprouting heart-eyes, or gaining a flurry of hearts above your head.
- The Bolder Biscuit - by far and above the densest thing you've ever tried to eat - makes you bold. It compels you to march right up to someone and tell them what you think, good or bad.
- And there's also the Firework Delight cake, which makes you shoot off literal fireworks the moment you touch that special someone that makes your life complete... but honestly, they go off when you touch anyone. Sorry if you end up giving off the wrong impression!
In addition, pop-up craft stands sell trinkets that guarantee you'll be together with your people forever and ever. The most popular item on sale this year appears to be the Eternal Bond - which is just an enchanted finger-trap that refuses to let go unless you tell someone a deep dark secret.
There is an altar at the town park where you can make your offering and give prayers to the God of Love in hopes he will smile favorable upon you. Lay your chocolate heart at its base and offer up a prayer to the God so that your life will be full of love and connection.
Truthfully, when it started it wasn't as cutesy as it is now. It became a lot more wholesome when people began to offer only chocolate hearts to the God of Love. Now it's fun for the whole family! ... So long as you don't veer into the woods. Some people still practice the old ways, and there are (what you hope to be) animal hearts nailed to trees. This is Sunset Falls, after all. Weird often goes hand in hand with terror.
LONELY HEARTS
For those of you who don't yet have those special people, lonely hearts still single can collect white rose enamel pins from the festival committee. They're expected to pick someone to give it out to as a declaration of their attraction by the end of the festival. However... there seems to be an issue this year. There's more pins here than there are people in town. Committee members start handing them out to anyone, single or not, and from there that's where things start to get a little weird...
You clip the pin onto your shirt and at once, your life has suddenly become a romcom. Everything is just a little brighter, the sounds a little more musical (sometimes literally), and you're suddenly compelled to reach out and find connection.
And the universe is conspiring to bring it your way! Cliches won't stop happening around you. Suddenly people are determined to give you a makeover so you can catch the eye of an admirer. Your friends are betting on your romantic future. A complex love triangle is springing out of previously platonic friendships.
You're not not limited to one partner, and that partner doesn't need to be romantic. It could be a best friend, or a nemesis that you're compelled to fight over and over again for the joy of it. What matters is the connection and the way the world seems to stop at nothing to give you that perfect three act structure: You Meet, You Lose, You Get.
Reach the end of your romcom's little arc and you'll find yourself freed from the spell... and probably will have some choice words for its caster.
HEARTS ON FIRE
Regardless of how you participate in the festival, everyone is at risk when the town itself falls under a love spell.
This may be unlike anything you've known before. Perhaps it's the first stumbling steps of puppy love. You want to be with this person all the time. Hold their hands and work up the courage for a kiss. Or perhaps this is something fierce and passionate. You want to be kissing them always, pursuing these passions heedless of consequences.
This doesn't need to be a romantic love. It can be strong and familial. Perhaps the sort you've always desired but never had. You could fall into a family unit with others affected by the spell. Compelled to hug each other and say words of encouragement or praise. Perhaps you, while living your own love story, are the best friend in someone else's - offering up the speech that tells them they deserve more than they think they do.
Whatever your flavor of love may be, you're prone to dramatic declarations. Confessions at the drop of a hat. It's go big or go home, and since nobody's going home right now, you might as well go as big as you can. Perhaps you're arranging for Flash Mobs to declare your feelings! Or making plans to move in together despite only having met a few hours ago.
This is all fine and well at first, but it may become clear pretty quickly that characters who try to hold their burning passions are likely to burn themselves! If you're the repressed type and you try to resist the compulsions that the love spell puts on you, you might just burst into flames, and someone will need to put you out. Don't worry — move quick enough, and there won't be any lasting damage, and if there is, the Guilds' healers can help you out.
MEET CUTE-PID
For those paying attention to that sort of thing, one constant of all these wild declarations can be spotted in the background. A tall man with curly blonde hair and an all too charming smile never seems to be far from the romance.
Those who are curious enough to follow will find he retreats to a lavish mansion on the outskirts of town. The mansion has the gaudy and abundant decor of a honeymoon suite on the Las Vegas Strip, with lights attuned to music and a massive twirling heart above the roof of the building. Peer inside and you will see hundreds of tiny viewing windows, each depicting a different romantic story unfolding outside of town. The door to the mansion appears to be locked tight and the windows are magically sealed, but some quick thinking may get you inside.
If anyone wants to engage him, HERE is a top level where we will summarize encounters. The more PCs involved in an encounter, the bigger its outcome will be. We will determine the impact on the god of love on Valentine's Day, so get your comments in by end of day on the 13th! You may also use this top level to ask event-specific questions about the effects on this page! (Please refer general questions about the setting to the FAQ, and refer any player plots to the PLOTTING page.)
no subject
[ Code for I got dosed by some weird magic and I don't realise I'm still dosed by it.
Peter does notice that Balthier says something about some charming fellow, but he doesn't know Balthier well enough to know that's just saying the quiet part out loud. ]
Oh yeah? What was this guy you met like? I hung out with Bart, who I met back when we all fell out of the sky at the Confluence. Only he was covered in glitter, which I guess I'll be finding all over the place for the rest of forever now, so...sorry in advance for that.
[ This is a complete understatement of what actually happened, except for the glitter part. ]
But I guess I came back early 'cause I miss my friends from home. I can't, uh, see them anymore at home anyway but that's not really the point because you can still miss people even if they're right there.
[ Talk about saying the quiet part out loud, but Peter sort of does that sometimes anyway, so he also isn't really aware that's happening. ]
Permanent housing? With what money? Why, did you?
no subject
[ Yeah that's definitely more than Balthier would normally reveal about someone he has a fancy for. Normally he hides any romantic interest....often so long it fizzles out. He's a flirt, but he's also exceedingly private. ]
What is glitter? Oh? Is it that sparkling stuff all over you? Seems festive.
[ He catches the mood of Peter's next comment. The truth of it washes over him, pulling the euphoria from his unexpected meeting back to the grief he's been fighting since he got here. ]
That I understand entirely. This is the longest I've been away from my partner in years. I -- I'm mildly concerned we died right before I woke up here. I thought I'd find her too, but...I haven't.
[ Peter's talk of housing pulls him back to the present. My, he doesn't normally zip between feelings like this, not without a few bottles of wine. ]
I joined a guild, dear boy. I'm too vain to live on my own with no money. I haven't decided where I want to live yet, though I'm thinking not Sunset Falls. Too much excitement and too quiet all at once.
no subject
[ Oh, what is he even saying? Embarrassing. ]
Does this guy have a name?
[ Is Balthier only into guys? Peter doesn't care, he's just also nosy. Look, he's 18, everyone is nosy at 18. He's too polite to ask, though.
But he's also 18 and of the generation he's of, so he laughs a little. ]
Did he give you his number to text him? Obviously I can show you how to do it, but you have to be able to contact him somehow. Or I guess if I know his name or something I can find him anyway.
[ That's probably true, he's good at things like that. Also he can literally talk to machines, which Balthier caught the tiniest glimpse of in that stupid Three Little Pigs thing, but that was before Peter knew he could do that. He's still not sure how deep that power goes, but he has a pretty good idea that power exists now. ]
Yeah, this sparkly stuff is glitter. Bart had it all over him, in his hair, on his face, and it just gets into places you didn't even know it could get, somehow. Like sand but not really terrible.
[ Balthier mentioned a partner before, but he doesn't know much about her. ]
You...think you died? Why? What did you do? I mean...I don't think the Confluence works by grabbing groups or pairs of people, whether they were together or not. It doesn't seem to do that. I think it's more individualised, for whatever reason. It doesn't even pay attention to time.
[ This he can at least theorise, even if he doesn't know the mechanism of how it works. ]
Like, I don't know if you met Dr. Strange yet, but I know him from back home. He and I are both here, but...he's from probably weeks or months before I am, time-wise. A bunch of stuff happened to me that hasn't happened to him yet. I guess that could mean, in a multiverse of infinite possibilties, we aren't even from the exact same timeline, but that's a huge headache I don't wanna deal with. It could also just mean that somehow the Confluence grabbed him from a different point in time.
You mentioned there's someone here from, what, thousands of years in your future or something? It's like that. So...your partner, even if she's not here, it...could even be a not here yet thing. Or when we eventually sort this crap out and get back to where we all belong, it will be like you were never missing. For her, at least. In the meantime, it...just royally sucks you're here without her. Sorry, I...wouldn't ever diminish your feelings about that or anything.
[ Awkward, maybe, but never on purpose. Peter is a lot of things, but he's not without compassion, especially not when it comes to people he likes. And he knows that he and Balthier don't agree on things like stealing for a living, but he does like Balthier. ]
Oh. You...which one?
[ He attempts to sound casual, but is he good at that? Of course not. ]
I didn't join one. I never had money back home, so...you know, I don't really care about money all that much.
[ Neatly sidestepping around what he's going to do about anything. When everything in your life is a huge fucking crisis all the time, what's one more tiny crisis, after all. Homelessness? He'll figure it out. Probably. ]
no subject
His name is David. He put his number in my phone.
[ He actually set himself to Balthier's favorites. He also is a technopath and upped the security on Balthier's phone, but Balthier has no idea what that means. ]
Ugh. Sandstorms are the worst. It's so hard to get out of ... everything. I wish you luck.
[ Peter's words about the Confluence and time do help, and he appreciates it. He sighs, lying back on his bed with his legs hanging off the edge. He hasn't really talked about this yet. Doesn't mean to. ]
I hope you're right. We had...well we'd spent the last few months teamed up with a runaway queen, her infuriating body guard, and two idiot teenagers, well the girl wasn't an idiot, the boy was. Fran and I were just trying to life a priceless gem from the old palace treasury, like you do, when we crossed paths, and next thing I knew we were fighting to save the Empire from tyrants and self-absorbed immortal gods. We'd just stopped them, or at least the rogue god. I killed my father to do it. Thought he was under the god's control -- turns out he was just a tyrant himself. He'd created weapons that could wipe out entire cities in the blink of an eye. But still my father, you know. Still feels strange. Hadn't had much time to think about it. We ran off to stop the Emperor. Succeeded, but Fran got hurt on the escape. I went back for her. The ship was going down. That's the last I remember. At least the Queen should have been restored to her throne. Probably should have told her I was in love with her in retrospect. Oh well. That wasn't going to go anywhere.
[ There you go Peter. He likes who he likes.
At Peter's next question he sits back up. He knows how Peter feels about this, and he doesn't really want to distress the poor lad. He's enjoyed his company, and he's sweet.]
I joined the Society, but before you get too worried, they have a strict code of ethics. I'm a thief, but I'm not a monster. And I don't trust people who say they are the good ones; the Empire was horrific, all in the name of good. I'd rather make my own moral decisions. And have money to support my expensive tastes.
If you need anything, while you're figuring things out, you can ask me. I've been alone and penniless before. I have no doubt you'll get through it fine, but it helps to have some people to lean on.
[ Maybe that's why he feels kindly toward Peter. Reminds him of being 16 and alone. ]
no subject
[ Is he genuinely interested or just nosy? Why not both? ]
Glitter isn't uncomfortable like sand. You don't really feel it.
[ Peter can feel it a little thanks to heightened senses, but that's not the point. ]
It just...gets all over everything. You'll probably find it somewhere tomorrow, just one or two little bits. But to be fair, if you went out anywhere today, you were doomed to a life of glitter anyway. We all were.
[ He says that with an added touch of dramatics, but surely Balthier of all people can appreciate that.
He listens to Balthier talk, and it's definitely the most he's learned about anything real about the man since they met. Balthier isn't exactly an open book.
Fran. That's his partner's name.
Man, the things he says could be straight out of some fantasy book or something. Not that Peter can judge too hard, considering how off the wall bonkers his own life has been ever since that spider bit him. Even without that, some of the things that have gone down in his world that are just on the news are batshit insane.
But wait, record scratch, back up. ]
You had to kill your own dad?!
[ Not only was there all of that other shit to wade through, but Balthier is a man who just said he has killed another person, which Peter has a hard time even grappling with. He has only once in his life truly felt capable of killing someone else, and that was out and out revenge, which is why it was better that he had the other Peters to talk him off that proverbial ledge. And he's not dumb. He knows that pretty much all of the Avengers have killed people. How else do you save the world from real threats?
This is why he's a neighbourhood Spider-Man.
But to make that call about your own dad? That's so heavy. Peter doesn't even know his parents. They've been dead his whole life, basically. He can't imagine at all.
It's not even that he's judging. How can he possibly put himself in those shoes? Queens and immortal gods and shit like that? Yeah, he fought Thanos, but what does he know about the stakes Balthier was up against? Not a damn thing.
Then there's the whole Villain society thing. Or...not exactly. It's not really a question of good guys versus bad guys, is it? This is where it gets sticky and complicated. Peter isn't entirely sure that Atomight is all good guy. But villain is still a dirty word in his head. Even if he doesn't join the Guardian Alliance, he's sure as hell not hopping in with the villain anything. ]
I pretty much lost everyone and everything all at once back home, but it was my own fault, so. It's...it is what it is. It's weird, pushing us to join these guilds or whatever anyway. And this Frances Starling lady who kind of stands against the guilds or...whatever she's doing, she stands up for LGBTQ people and I really dig that about her? Like I don't know how Atomight and the Guild feel about queer kids and stuff but it matters to me. Kinda has to, 'cause I'm...uh...anyways.
Back home there's the Avengers and they're this big deal and I really wanted to join them at first! But I just kept fucking everything up! And Mr. Stark kept reminding me of that. Then we had this huge war and things got completely out of everyone's control and who am I? I'm just some kid. I'm not an Avenger or Guardian of the Galaxy or whatever. I'm just a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. I didn't sign up for any of that. I signed up to help New York.
[ He's doing that talking thing, maybe a little more personalised than normal, but he is aware that some of it is completely lacking context. He's just not sure what parts of it are missing context that Balthier can't possibly follow. ]
...Sorry, a lot of that probably didn't make any sense. Forget that. Um. Thanks. For offering to help me, I mean. I'll figure it out. Eventually. Probably.
no subject
[ Scions, he is smitten. But conversation and a sharp mind always does it for him. It's a dance he can't predict. And David was kind on top of it. He normally excuses some amount of cruelty if the game is good enough, and that has...not worked out well in the end.
David slips from his mind as he talks of home, though. Peter's comment shakes him from his dark memory. He frowns. ]
I did. It was not something I ever...imagined.
[ The memory flashes, leaning over his body, wound clearly fatal, guilty and shame running through him, and then that horrid man using his last breath to let Balthier know he'd been a failure. Not even death could stem the man's blasted pride. So why was Balthier still sad to lose him? Still feel like he had failed in some way. ]
I thoroughly don't recommend it if you can help it. Which I suppose we all can given I haven't seen anyone come through in pairs or groups. Sorry, though, if you have family you're missing.
[ Balthier doesn't know LGBTQ yet but he does know queer.
Oh, people here are prim about queerness too? Pity. I was hoping that was left behind me. Having people who accept that is important.
[ He's glad to hear there's some kind of person attached to Peter's plan, whatever it is. That had helped Balthier a lot, when he'd first joined the pirates. There had been some singularly awful people, too, but being able to explore who he was and be supported for it, not have to hide it behind social niceties, that had been huge. ]
I don't know what and Avenger or a Galaxy Guardian is, but I understand not signing up for things. My father made me a Judge -- a very powerful political figure with a lot of ability to ruin others lives -- when I was 16. I ran away from it. But the pirates has their own structures, the governments, the Empire. It's all power versus people who want to make change. I think you can make change and live your morals anywhere, it just depends what's non-negotiable for you.
[ What he's saying is he supports Peter's decision, whatever it is. ]
You will. You're smart.
oh my god these keep getting longer i'm sorry
[ There's not a story with a million pounds of baggage there or anything, nope. Also why is he talking about his own sad bullshit when Balthier is talking about someone that makes him happy? Ew, way to be a downer, Peter.
But this conversation kind of goes somewhere else, with Balthier's dad, and Peter literally cannot fathom what that must be like, feel like. ]
Even if you didn't get along with your dad, that shouldn't have been up to you, that's so messed up. I feel like saying I'm sorry can't even touch that. But...I'm sorry anyway.
[ Gold star for attempt? ]
I...I never knew my parents, actually. They died when I was a kid. My aunt and uncle raised me.
[ Source unclear about when Peter's uncle died, but he was close to his aunt. ]
My aunt May was killed a few weeks before I came here. I couldn't save her. I was right there. And I'm supposed to be this big fucking hero, you know? I'm Spider-Man. I helped save the universe. I mean, I had to...die for five years, I guess, and we had to mess up time and it was this whole Thing that I don't think I could explain to you or anyone very easily because it's a lot of things that don't make sense even when you lived through them or saw them on the news and everything involving some really massive cosmic powers and other planets and things. But May was right there. She was the best person I knew. And I know she'd want me to still be a hero, but sometimes, man, it's so hard.
And now no one at home gets to remember me. Which is how it should be, like, if they knew who I was, they'd be in danger too, and more people might die like she did.
[ He's skipping around some because of how his brain works about it; he's not giving the Reader's Digest condensed version (a reference he's too young and too internet to get) on purpose, it's just how the wound bleeds when he can't get it under control fast enough.
He manages to catch up with that snowball effect somehow, probably because he needs to breathe. He can feel that building panic, the thing he holds barely in check most of the time, the holes inside him shaped like Tony, shaped like the May, shaped like MJ and Ned who aren't dead but who are lost to him, shaped like everyone who are right there but who don't see him anymore, Happy at his aunt's grave but who doesn't know him.
Jesus, it's a lot.
Breathe. ]
Oh, I...I don't actually know what they're like about queer people here? They're not great about it back home, so it's not really something I'd go around advertising. The high school has mixed gender bathrooms which is really great so trans kids don't have to, like, out themselves just to use a bathroom or something. But it's still, like, I dunno. Seems more transparent to trust a lady who's like, hey, here's the reasons I support what I do, and I want meta people to live their lives how they want, versus the idea that you have to be a hero.
On the other hand, I mean...one of the last things May said to me was that with great power comes great responsibility. I don't just wanna give up on helping people. I got these powers for a reason! I wanna help. I really do! I just...wanna do it on my terms. I don't know that I wanna do it on Atomight's terms. That's all.
[ He looks back over at Balthier. ]
I'm guessing you don't mean, like, a judge like a dude who sits in a courtroom and is like "you're guilty go to jail" huh?
no sorry! i love their obtuse monologuing
It doesn't sound like the boy has had it easy. Losing a beloved friend was hard enough, even knowing they were safe. That's what he hoped was the case with Fran. But losing his Aunt, watching her die -- Balthier can't imagine that. If they were closer, he might hug the boy. ]
It sounds like we've had a similar past few months. I'm not sure if friends or guardians are more painful. Just different, I suppose.
[ He doesn't understand all the details about memory loss or dying for five years, but human emotion is more or less the same across the universe. ]
Your loved ones sound truly remarkable. They were lucky to have you. And I know it does nothing for the gaping hole of grief, but, I'm sorry. Maybe the silver lining of being here is a chance to meet new people, have faces that aren't so recognizable.
[ That last bit is as much for himself as Peter. ]
I think it's wise to seek out mentors who value you and your safety. I have tried to fit myself to people who don't before -- doesn't ever turn out well. And I think it makes sense to honor your aunt, but, sometimes removing yourself can be great responsibility.
[ That's what he's been telling himself, at least. For years. ]
No. Court room judge I maybe could have done. A Judge is a branch of the military. They make political decisions but also carry out justice, as in executing people and leading military strikes, usually on innocent people.
[ Disgust creeps into his voice. All this time and it still makes his skin crawl. ]
I thought maybe having that power, I could help fight bad laws or divert military action. But I was one man, young and inexperienced and naive. They tricked me into votes that led to people dying. When I was supposed to lead an execution, I ran. It's not like I stopped anything, really; they just replaced me. But I couldn't be a part of that, and I certainly gave them pause and wasted a lot of their resources as a pirate.
no subject
[ It doesn't matter that they can't directly relate. They've both been Going Through It. Peter isn't hard to read like Balthier, obviously. He's a pretty open book about emotions, and he's empathetic, which is why he's a good hero even when he doesn't feel like he is. ]
I'm not good at…meeting people or, like, making friends. I mean, I can't tell people I'm Spider-Man. I know that doesn't make a lotta sense to you, but it's important to me to keep it all separate. I guess that's one thing the whole Guild is supposed to help with. But I'm not there yet.
[ He's not sure about that removing yourself thing also being great responsibility. It feels like a cop out. But he's not going to argue the point, just think on it later.
He also wonders about the mentors thing. Mentors who value your safety. Has he ever had one of those? If he's honest about it, well…maybe not. He will probably idolise Tony Stark for the rest of his life, but Tony Stark didn't really value his safety all the time. Sometimes, sure, to the point of being overbearing or even suffocating. Tony didn't always handle Peter well. Tony didn't always handle Tony well. Then of course there was Quentin, but Quentin was never who or what he appeared to be. Peter has the other Peter now as sort of a de factor mentor. At least he can rest assured that his multiverse counterpart absolutely has his safety in mind. ]
Wait, did you say executing people?! At sixteen? Your world is messed up. And you own dad wanted you to do that? Jesus, that's…a lot. That's so much. No wonder you left.
[ And no wonder Balthier doesn't believe in anything. That sort of dry cynicism he has suddenly makes a lot more sense. That's not how Peter deals with the world, even a world that has been cruel to him for almost half his life, but he can follow the logic. ]
no subject
[ Balthier notices very passingly that it's odd for him to actually verbalize thanks. Maybe he's just soft because he feels for this boy. Maybe he's feeling kind because he had such a good date. Which is also strange for him, truth be told. He rarely feels at ease with people this quickly.
He's surprised that Peter is fixated on lack of social ability. Is it just the age? He's not that young, is he? He seems like a very sweet and charming fellow -- Balthier finds it hard to believe he has any trouble making friends. But he does recall how nervous he was, when he first started going as Balthier. ]
You'd be surprised, I think. I ran away from home and changed my name. I had to keep my origins entirely secret, both to keep my father from finding me and to keep any of my loved ones from being used to bring me home. I had to forego seeing my mother, so long she died before I contacted her. But I think you're right. Being a part of a band of pirates helped me connect with people, and that matters a great deal when things are low. It sounds like this other person your speaking too could help you find that to. Just don't -- don't recede too far into yourself. People aren't meant to be alone.
[ It's very tender, something Balthier usually takes a long time to show to people. But he doesn't want this gentle boy receding to the shadows, driving himself to nothingness. He's seen it happen. Been in danger of it. No one deserves that. Once he wouldn't have cared about others, but Peter is so much like him, so much like Vaan -- it's been nice, caring about people.
He's both startled and amused at Peter's strong reaction to his history. He doesn't disagree; he's just not used to anyone reacting that way. Fran did, he recalls. Not as shrilly, but from the same place of kindness and disbelief. ]
Truly a god among fathers. Which I suppose is what he wanted. Don't recommend it. Gods are nasty stuff. But yes, I couldn't stomach that. Piracy was much less offensive. Less violent. Have you ever killed anyone?
[ Alright that one makes him think something may be off. He's not normally that gauche. He was just curious and it slipped out. ]
no subject
[ Gold star for not going off on a very long explanation.
He is surprised. It's not that he thinks Balthier is exactly an open book, but apparently Balthier isn't his original name. Peter is the last person on the planet who is going to ask some inane question about what someone's birth name is, of course. Uh, gross. That doesn't even cross his mind. But knowing that Balthier chose to go by something else to hide who he was…that's a pretty big thing to learn, it feels like. Names and identities are obviously a big deal to Peter anyway, but there's a lot tied up in that for him. ]
Most of the other heroes are a lot older than me, and…uh, you know. The one I cared the most about died fighting Thanos. That's another whole story, the…war…there was this whole galaxy wide war, like I mentioned I died for five years. It was only like a second to me but SURPRISE it was actually five whole years. I remember the dying part, though. Kind of. It was…scary, actually. Lonely.
[ Watching someone else die, someone he loved, that had also been scary. Well, that's a parallel he's not really emotionally ready to deal with, and they might be oversharing but he can only do so much at once so there are some things he just has to skate over or repress or he might start screaming. ]
I know people aren't meant to be alone and I don't want to be alone, it's just…safer so that people don't die. I don't want anyone to die because of me. Not to protect me and not because I fucked up. Not even one person, not again.
[ Even Cap or Tony couldn't save everyone and he knows that but that's not the point. He isn't them and he doesn't want to be them, responsible for whole countries, for the whole world, dashing off into wormholes and racing through time and the whole thing with Thanos. He's not sure he has it in him to do all of those things. That's part of why he's not sure about the Guardian Alliance thing, too, though it's a lot easier to just say "haha but LGBTQIA+ people" than recognise the truth in himself. ]
W-what? Have I ever killed anyone?!
[ It's a god given miracle his voice doesn't crack with the way he reacts, verbally skidding over that question. ]
No! No, of course I haven't.
[ HORRIFIED. ]
I…almost. I almost did. Jesus, I wanted to. I think I could have done it after what happened to May. I was so angry. After all of it, just everything that happened, even if it was my fault, it didn't matter. Nothing was her fault. The only thing she did wrong was be my aunt. She did everything she could to raise me right and most kids just do things like back the car into the mailbox and I fuck up by doing stupid shit like sneaking onto a spaceship and getting stuck on another planet when half the universe disappeared and then talking too much during Dr. Strange's spell so it went all batshit insane and all these other Peter Parkers and their crazy ass bad guys showed up and one of them killed May. And I wanted to kill him too.
[ This is about the point he thinks, you know, maybe this is too much? This is definitely too much. Absolutely no one should ever hear this confession. The other Peters knew, because they were there, and also they were AU him. But this is one of the worst things he's ever had to face about himself. No, this is probably the worst thing he's ever had to face about himself.
He could have killed Norman Osborn. That's a line you can't uncross. And it's not something he means to just…admit to. ]
I…mean. I didn't really mean to say all that, actually.
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Though wait, Peter died? And he remembers what it felt like? He remembers Peter mentioning it before, and honestly David said something of the sort. This situation must be significantly different from a raise spell, and it’s clearly left them both with mental wounds. Balthier feels darkly relieved that such magic is not an option as home. His father needs to stay dead.
Peter’s social difficulty makes more sense though. And Balthier knows what it is to lose loved ones to a war. But he also knows that staying alone doesn’t work. Even if that’s a lesson most people have to learn for themselves. Still he can’t help offering the advice he wishes he had had. Who knows if he would have listened, but he knows he needed it. ]
I had that logic once. I don’t know if I’m wiser or more foolish for having eased on it; I seem to always end up loving someone, and if it’s going to hurt either way, I’d rather have them with me. But what do I know? I’m a selfish pirate.
[ He’s really not. He knows that in a way that is uncomfortable, that doesn’t fit with the persona he’s so carefully constructed. It frightens him, because Peter is also right. As he cares about people, they can be hurt. He can lose them. He can be the reason he loses them. There’s a hole where Fran should be. Honestly the others too. But he knows he wouldn’t trade having had them. He does regret they are likely grieving him. And too upset by the idea that they aren’t to spend any time on it. Worse, Fran may be dead. Because of him. No, because of their choice. He can’t take her autonomy like that.
Peter’s tone changes as he keeps talking. A frown appears on Balthier’s face. This is…fresh. And raw. Even before Peter says anything Balthier’s mind is putting observations together. He thought that spell had faded with David but that must be what this is. That needs to be addressed. But first… ]
Peter, would you like a hug?
whoops hurt my own feelings on that last part there
Yeah. I wish I could have taken the risk, but…I just couldn't get in the way of everyone's life again. I thought I could do it, but my friends deserve to go to college and have real lives. They didn't have that with me.
[ But he manages the tiniest of smiles. ]
You're not selfish, Balthier. That's probably some stony pirate persona you got going on and I won't, like, tell anyone. But you're obviously not.
[ Anyone would know, though. Seems like that's a secret Balthier isn't doing any better at keeping than Peter is at keeping his secret identity secret, whoops.
At that last question, Peter looks genuinely surprised. Actually…when was the last time he even touched another person? He's not sure. He thinks about it. Has he really touched anyone else here? Maybe very briefly in passing. He did touch Balthier, actually, to help him when he was having trouble with magic. He touched a couple people when he was Spider-Man, with Cerberus. He does touch people as Spider-Man. Sometimes he's, you know, hitting people, but that's not the point.
But the last time he just touched another person like it was a normal thing to do, Jesus, he has no idea. ]
Uh…yeah. Yeah, I would like that, I think.
aww peter bb
Peter's observation pulls him back. He shakes his head, but he's smiling. Either he's been a mess since he arrived, dropping his usual careful defense, or Peter's astute. Maybe both. Maybe without Fran he's reaching out for community. But he's alright with Peter thinking that. Glad, even, because Peter sounds like he needs a friend, or a mentor.
Balthier would never admit it, but Peter's comparison that they are both poor at keeping their identities secret is apt. ]
I thank you for your discretion.
[ But he watches Peter's reaction to the question, takes in the discomfort in his affirmative response. Balthier's heart goes out to the boy. He rises silently and goes to give Peter a firm hug, the kind that reaches where words don't. There are things he'd like to say -- you're alright, you're a good person, you're always welcome here -- but they feel trite and impersonal. He hopes the gesture is affirming, at least. ]
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There are things about the whole Thanos thing he absolutely did not and would not ever have told her, and for good reason. Though he'd tell her all of it if it meant he got her back, even if she'd be furious. That's just how loss and grief and regret go.
Peter finds himself smiling back despite all his twisted up messy feelings. ]
I wouldn't ever tell anyone else's secrets.
[ That's true, at least. Ned had come up with some absolute bullshit lies for him over the past couple years, but he'd have done the same for Ned in a heartbeat. Friends just do that! They keep each other's secrets.
Balthier might go on about how old and wise he is, and Peter has no idea how old he is, but he doesn't strike Peter as, like, one of the Avengers. He's not so far apart in age that he feels untouchable or unrelatable (all boomer tech memes aside). He's probably the closest actual friend Peter's made in this weird Confluence city so far, though he wouldn't have quantified it like that.
Despite his words about how he sucks at friends, he'll make others. Bart, Alina, someone else. They're there, too.
He returns the hug, probably too tight, because he needs something to hold onto in the worst way, and Balthier offered to literally be that for a minute. Peter is aware, though Balthier might actually not be yet, of his own strength, though. He's much, much stronger than he looks, and something like holding onto someone too tight without checking himself would be pretty painful for them. This isn't that! This is just…normal human too tight, luckily, hands tight in Balthier's shirt.
He'll check himself on that, too. He just needs a second. Human connection is good, actually! Who knew, right? ]
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And so he's glad when Peter hugs back firmly. There's grief and need in that hold. He finds his throat tightening, feels pressure in his eyes. It's been a long time since Balthier's hugged anyone, either, and when he was in Peter's position, well, the person who'd offered support had betrayed him later. He would never say it, but he might need this hug as much as Peter does.
They really aren't so far apart, in age or experience. Maybe just enough that Balthier would fill the space of a brother or a cousin, but certainly not so much that he's actually Peter's elder. Maybe it's just been a long time since he's made an actual friend. ]
I suppose spilling secrets would ruin your carnival gig.
[ He still does not understand superheroes. But the comment is meant as a joke either way.
He tightens his grip, just a little, because he wants Peter to know it's alright to stay as long as he needs. ]
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Maybe they both needed it, but Peter is way too smart (for once) to call that out out loud. He doesn't want to lose it.
He butts his head against Balthier's shoulder softly at that comment but doesn't manage to untangle himself yet. ]
I'm not a carnival attraction, c'mon! But I can do some pretty neat tricks. I'll show you my YouTube channel sometime.
[ The good thing about the channel here is that all his old ones from back home don't exist here. There's nothing terribly embarrassing from when he was trying to figure out his abilities. These ones are all just pretty impressive. It varies how popular they are, but it gives him something to do, filming them. ]
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Peter, I've no idea what a YouTube channel is, but I will gladly let you show it to me. It will take some more convincing that you aren't a carnival performer, though.
[ No old man jokes, but also less need to monologue about how strange he feels at the huge number of things he doesn't recognize. Maybe the spell is lessening. ]
Peter, I'm sure you're sharp enough to have figured this out, but I suspect we've been under the lingering effects of an oversharing spell. I just want to be clear that anything you've disclosed to me is private. And will continue to be any time you need to talk.