metalogs | ( closed ) the law ain't ever been a friend of mine

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( closed ) the law ain't ever been a friend of mine

Who: loki

ikols & peter1

tinglesense
What: first time meeting peter1, second time meeting a parker
When: a week after the love potion event
Where: central city, night
Content Warnings: n/a

[ A week after his body recovers from Eros's flaming punishment, Loki is feeling more like himself and wants to flex a little, so to speak, with an idea for a heist in which should the goods be stolen (or seen to be) they will actually be safe. With him, in fact, way ahead of the time. So, with a spring in his step as he runs up a building with green magic sparking on the heels of his Seven-League boots he answers the phone when his not-boyfriend calls, hopping onto the roof with a bounce. The chatter is not quiet, it's early evening and the sun has set, the lights in the streets are blazing as people having fun post-work and Loki's laugh is a bell, delighted by his lover. ]

You are, you're breathing hard! Peter Parker, I know what you sound like when you're breathless. Ooo, promises, promises! Web my hands together if you're scared, bug-boy. Oh? Aha, I see! Suddenly you're a tough man, hm? Well, you don't have to tie me up but it might be fun ...

[ Loki takes a running leap over the rooftops, skidding down metal grating to trot his way along the edge of the next building. The purr in his voice is playful, a grin so wide it hurts. ]

I have to go, I'll be home in a few hours. Don't watch the rest of that episode without me if you get back first! I mean it.

[ He stands on the ledge of a building, leaning over it on a knee to see the storefront below: a jeweller's. ]

... See you later, Peter-dear.

[ Phone turned off, Loki inhales and turns invisible as he jumps off the building to the ground below, unseen by the vast majority: those without spider-sense, certainly. ]

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[ Peter hears Loki before he sees him, and it is the weirdest damn thing he has heard in a minute. Everything here has been weird as hell the whole time, but this? Wow, he's not even sure what to do with this. He's only out here because he's doing the Spider-Man thing. It's habit, not necessity. Is he even supposed to do this? He didn't join up with Atomight's Guardian Alliance. He's still not sure he should.

But that is definitely his name, and definitely...uh...wow, not something he should be overhearing. He's smart enough to put it together that this is about Peter Three? PROBABLY?!

God, what is happening right now?

But then things go even more sideways, because he can't see whatever is going on, but he can sense it. He's been a little worried that his tingle thing (please, when will he stop calling it this in May's voice in his head? when?) hasn't been working since he got here. But no, there it is. He's absolutely sure of it, the way he could sense where Mysterio really was at the end of their last encounter before his whole life went to shit.

So he's there at the jeweller's front door, hanging upside down from a web. ]

Oh, I am absolutely going to web your hands together if you don't pay for whatever you got your eye on in this store, invisible guy.

[ A pace away from the door he startles as a head drops down, making Loki bark and lose his concentration. His shadowthread coat flickers and he reappears, squinting in the dark. ]

Wh —?

[ Peter! Only not. Not Peter, no, he doesn't sound like that. Who! Who is that! ]

Are you cosplaying as Spider-Man, small child?

[ Wow, Peter already has such dedicated fans in Central City ... ]

[ Peter's eyes go wide behind the mask, but it's not as evident as it would be with the high tech version. Eventually he'll rebuild that suit, but he's loathe to spend money on that credit card because yikes. Still, even upside down, his surprise at this is pretty evident. ]

W-what?! Of course not. I am Spider-Man. And I'm not a child, what the hell. I mean, your Loki cosplay isn't all that convincing either if we're talking about who's gonna win at the next convention or something. I've seen pictures.

[ He's actually aware Loki is a real person who exists in this city and isn't the version from his world, thanks to Peter Three telling him that, but two can play this start with weird insults game, thanks. ]

I'm not the one here who sounds like he has homework and chores to be getting on with.

[ So, it's a real Spider-Man. Another. That is ... really the least surprising thing about this city and in general, considering Loki has seen all the Books of Spider-Man chronicled in the Halls of the All-Knowing, library of the gods.

Typical there are two Peters here. Spider-Men get all the screentime! ]

Which pictures of a Loki have you seen? Big horns? Old? Describe them.

You can't judge people on their voices, man, lots of people sound young.

[ He's not self-conscious about his voice in any way, what are you talking about? ]

Well, he's been in the news a few times. There's one in the textbook section about Asgard.

[ Shit, that's not helping his high school case at all. ]

Yeah, bigger horns, I guess. More gold than you have on. Longer hair. Older than you but not, like, old. Taller, I think? But maybe not. Maybe it's just 'cause Thor is really tall and he's almost as tall as Thor. I haven't been up close to the Asgardians.

[ He's doing that talking too much thing. What IS it about this place that gets him just going. ]

Anyway, you know invisibility makes you really suspicious, right? Even if you weren't already sus just by merit of being Loki, or faking being Loki, or...whatever.

He sounds gross, also I can't believe you have a mere section in your schoolbooks about Asgard. That's lazy on someone's part.

[ Chitterchatting is no problem, it happens a lot with Spiders. They're personable folk, always have been in Loki's experience (even when he was evil, oops). ]

Look, I'm kind of busy and don't have time to not look sus. Can you let me by?

Well, evil bad guys are usually pretty gross.

[ That's not even true. Mysterio wasn't gross, but he's not about to get into any of that with Loki. Or anyone! Wow! ]

I don't…think we know enough about Asgard to have more than a section. We only found out about Asgard a few years ago. Actually I'm not even sure where the Asgardians went recently? Ah…you know what, this is not important right now.

[ Something way fishier is happening and this is a distraction. ]

But I don't think I'm gonna just let you by into a closed and locked store at night. I'm pretty sure you don't own this place. You know stealing is a crime, right? Remember that whole thing about evil bad guys being gross?

[ Loki switches tack with a put-upon sigh. ]

I'm not breaking in to steal anything, I'm breaking in to put something back. I thought it might be a nice surprise for the owners but I don't want to be affiliated with it.

[ He plants a hand on a hip, gesturing to Peter. ]

You can watch me do it, if you like!

[ For a moment, Peter is thrown, because what kind of answer is that. ]

I'm sorry, you're what? C'mon, man, there's no way I'd believe a weird story like that. You're putting something back? You mean something you stole earlier? What'd you do, jack the wrong ring size?

[ WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LOKI? ]

I didn't steal it, someone else did. Why is this a weird story?

[ He folds his arms, raising his chin aloofly. ]

You're being dimensional-ist.

[ IT COULD BE A THING. ]

W-what? No, I'm being cautious based on the fact that my only experiences with people from alternate universes, which is that the alternates of people I knew weren't super fundamentally different from each other. Also it's just weird that you'd break into a place to return something. Why don't you want the owners to have you give it to them? If it were me, I'd just give it to them.

[ He feels like there is something he's missing here, but he's not sure what or why or how, so...it's still just sus to him. Maybe it IS dimensionalist but he'll just live with that. ]

You're not an ex-supervillain, are you? Are you? [ Eyeballing him! ] Because if you were, you would know it looks pretty awful breaking and entering for any reason and no matter the reason you would be found guilty anyway.

So move aside, Spider-Man, and let me be heroic! Under the radar!

Of course I'm not! You could just go when they're open, no breaking and entering required!

[ HEAVY SIGH.

He finally does flip right side up like a regular person(?) and stands on the ground. ]

How can I trust that you're seriously just going to go in here and put whatever this thing is back and leave, and not...I don't know. Trade it for something else? This could be a really weird ruse. Though...I guess you could have just magic zapped your way inside, maybe? I don't actually know why you didn't do that.

[ Or why he's not doing it now. How do Loki's magic powers work? That's a mystery to him. ]

Do you think I wash my hair with magic too? Why don't I just zap everything, Spider? I'm not inside because you want to talk.

[ Gonna shoo him aside, go away! Move! ]

I already invited you along, what do you want? A literal RSVP? Or perhaps you know you'll simply set off all the alarms.

I dunno, washing your hair with magic sounds pretty cool actually.

[ But okay, point taken. Dr. Strange doesn't do everything with magic either, right? Okay, he's not entirely sure, having mostly spent time with Stephen in crises, but anyways. ]

I'm not gonna set off the alarms either!

[ He doesn't tell Loki he can pretty much disable them by talking to them. That seems like info he should only be giving out on a need-to-know basis. ]

Ugh, fine, let's go put your stuff back.

Of course you're not.

[ Access granted!! Loki deals with the lock with a wave, entering to blow green smoke across the premises that sticks to anything which could alert a secondary alarm system. Inside the shop things are dark and it isn't until he walks into the shop proper, from the storeroom, that his smoke gives away the glimmering red lines of tripwires. ]

Stay here and touch nothing.

[ Peter follows, of course. He's light on his feet, and he can do some pretty acrobatic things. So the tripwires might not be a problem, but he's not here to play Mission Impossible. He's just here to make sure Loki wasn't lying.

If he was, uh…well, fighting a god isn't really something he wants to do, especially alone, but he'll cross that bridge when they get there.

He stops, though, not because Loki told him to but because it's probably just better to stay put and watch for the time being. ]

This looks kinda heavy duty but I guess they need an upgrade for people who can just walk in and do whatever.

What are you returning, anyway?

This.

[ He produces the real diamond from inside his jacket, letting it twinkle for inspection before he slips it away again. ]

Don't spit webbing at anything and keep your sticky fingers to yourself, no matter what you see.

[ Loki shrinks. Or, more accurately, he sinks into his coat which drops to the floor, reforming into a sleek green shape: a snake! Around the size of a grass-snake, the serpent winds its way underneath all the tripwires until it comes to the front of the main cabinet where Loki reforms into a man, shapeshifting so seamlessly his hand is already reaching for the empty cabinet as his sleeve returns. ]

[ Peter wishes he had his high tech suit to get a quick read on that diamond. But since he doesn't, he just has to accept this. ]

It's not spitting, come on. And hands to myself, yeah, I get it.

[ JEEZ.

Of course he's surprised by the transformation. He's aware that Asgardians can do something like magic, and of course he's seen some pretty freaky magic thanks to Dr. Strange, but this? ]

Whoa, this is like that old book series, Animorphs.

[ Whoops, was that out loud?

He's not afraid of snakes, though he's on alert anyway since he's not sure what he expects to happen here. That's a neat way of getting around laser beams, but now he wonders how anyone is supposed to keep someone out if they can do that. Should he tell someone about this? That seems like being a snitch, though…

Uh, anyway. ]

That's incredible!

[ He can be suspicious and impressed at the same time. Multitasking! ]

Animorphs.

[ The rock he puts back certainly twinkles like a diamond and makes for an identical duplicate, closing the glass door on the cabinet carefully.

He flashes Peter a look, grins widely, and turns into a fox that leaps up on the front cabinet to trot across the top. His muzzle moves as he speaks, tail swishing. ]

I bet I can reach where you are faster than you can reach here.

[ Peter's hardly a diamond expert, so of course this trick works on him. He's still suspicious because, well...Loki, right? But also different universes, so he's trying not to be a bigger pain than he already has been. This looks legit, so he has to let it go.

Though Loki can't see it, he does actually smile back at that comment. Oh, yeah? Of course he's susceptible to challenges he can't win! ]

Teleporting is cheating, y'know.

[ But he's already calculating what kind of angle to move at to get up there, where to let the webbing hit the ceiling, all of that, body tensed to navigate it. And he can move a lot faster than a regular human, after all. ]

[ Ever seen a fox grin? Loki covers his nose with his paw as though caught out. ]

Why are all the spider-lads so sharp?

[ So instead of teleporting (which he was definitely going to do, oops) he springs over the laser-beams and darts through them without counting down. ]

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( closed ) the law ain't ever been a friend of mine

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