(closed) you better watch out. you better watch out

[eggplanting]

Who: Steph Brown eggplanting, Bart Allen, Cass Cain, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Kon-El, Jon Kent
What: Slumber party with the DC vigilante/hero kids
When: Mid-December
Where: Bart's farm in Little Love
Content Warnings: hopefully none!
Notes: Threadjacking is encouraged, as is vaguely waving our hands at the concept of linear time so that we don't have to think too hard about logistics



'Twas the night week before Christmas, when all through the house...

Pretty much everyone was stirring, because there's a party to enjoy.

Calling it a party may be a slight stretch, when there's really only a handful of them and they're not going to get up to anything more intense than playing Mario Kart and watching movies from the 90s, but Steph thought that labeling it a sleepover might sound a little immature. The idea had percolated over the last few weeks; there's a good handful of them now, from roughly the same universe, but not all of them know each other well, and while Steph might not be as tactically minded as someone like Tim, it had seemed sensible that they do a little team building.

Also, it should be fun. That's very important.

With Bart being the only one living in a space that could actually be considered a house, she'd reached out to ask if he'd be cool with hosting, and had sent out texts to the rest of their friends once she had his approval. Not being a jerk, she'd also promised to swing by early to help set up, for all the set up that needs to be done when a handful of people in their twenties hang out. Mostly it involved grabbing a few extra bean bags, setting up the TV and game consoles, and adding a few seasonally appropriate holiday decorations.

The invitation texts served the secondary purpose of assigning everyone some kind of snack or beverage to bring, most of it falling into typical junk food fare. Chips and dip, soda, pizza rolls, pretzels (the soft variety, of course), mozzarella sticks, popcorn. People are welcome to get fancier, but she'd mostly suggested things they could eat as is, or food that's easy to pop in the oven. This isn't a gala thrown by Bruce, after all. And with none of them being particularly big drinkers, she'd just told everyone it was BYOB if they want to get alcohol involved in their evening.

It's unlikely any of them would want to get wasted. While they're all strictly off duty for the evening, 'drunken misadventures' isn't really the vibe Steph is going for with this whole thing; it's meant to be a relaxing, fun evening, where they can eat, watch movies, and get into unnecessarily heated arguments about video games before crashing wherever they can find a soft surface at the end of the night. As if they're normal young adults and not a gaggle of traumatized vigilantes and lab experiments.

Later in the evening, after they've all poured outside to make s'mores around an improvised firepit, she'll probably break out some silly party games, like Never Have I Ever, or worse, card games like Uno. Because nothing says fun like arguing over whether it's morally right to use two skips in a row.

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Comments

[lowercase_el]

[He seems a little surprised at the hug at first, but relaxes into it.]

[Okay, he wasn't expecting this much emotion over food and a recipe book but -]

[God, it does make sense, doesn't it? The family didn't talk a lot about it because Jon himself clearly didn't want to talk much about it but they'd told him what had happened to him. It'd happened before Kon had resurfaced. Jon was already his current age when Jon and Clark had taken him home and Ma and Pa remembered him.]

[Before Kon showed up Jon been locked away somewhere by a villain, where time happened faster, and come back older in the space of a heartbeat. But Jon had lived it. Whatever happened there.]

[He'd lived those long years alone.]

[He pulls away but only so he can drag Jon down to sit on the same log as him, and he wraps an arm around his shoulders.]

[It feels like a thing he should do. It's sort of a big brother move. Or an older cousin move? Whatever he is. (Clark has called him a brother and a cousin at different points. So is this his cousin? His same-age nephew? How the hell does all this work?)]

I know our situations were different, and I think mine was less bad, but I still know what it feels like to be homesick. And it sucks we only just got back home and here we are trapped in another dimension again.

[It extra sucks for Jon because he'd been gone for so long. So many years... And to be captured as a little kid...]

But at least we're both not alone this time. Whatever happens while we're stuck here, I've got your back.

And we can do some stuff to remind us of the farm. Maybe we can hang out sometimes and cook up some of Ma's fried chicken? Or something?

Have like a Kent dinner. You only need two Kents for it to technically be a Kent dinner. Plus there's that alternate version of your mom, so that makes three.

[exponentially]

[ he has to swallow down the stupid, nonsensical urge to cry as kon pulls him down to sit with him. his arm around jon's shoulders probably shouldn't feel as secure as it does, given they hadn't grown up together, but he feels like home anyway. ]

Being homesick's being homesick, [ he protests when he can get his voice under control, turning his glance to the other teen's with a small, only slightly watery smile. ] It's not always.. for a physical place. Sometimes it's for people, or-- or ideas. And I know-- [ he slings his own arm around the back of kon's waist to squeeze him in another brief, hard hug. ] I know Dad hasn't always been.. [ he trails off uncertainly. ] I don't really understand it, I guess, since I wasn't around for it, but I know Dad can be kind of awkward around you sometimes.

[ he's seen it. he just doesn't know how to talk about it, or even if he should. but clark's not here, and it's just jon and conner, which is long overdue. ]

I'm sorry I haven't taken the time to hang out with you before coming here. [ he could make an excuse and it would be valid, probably. it's been one thing after another since jon came home. sometimes it just feels like it's crisis after crisis with no time to breathe. and between crises, he's tried to go to college, he's had his boyfriend to make time for, and damian, and learning how to be superman when he feels like he's nowhere close to being worthy of it, and he hadn't really been sure if kon would even want to know him. he should have known better. ] I always wanted a brother or sister. I guess I just didn't expect to get one, much less an older brother, the way I did.

[ his smile widens slightly, still a little shaky at the corners. ] I'd really like to do Kent dinners, though. And Mom would really like that, too. She worries about you, I think.

[lowercase_el]

["It's not always.. for a physical place. Sometimes it's for people, or-- or ideas."]

[Like a whole world you left behind. One that knew you, that remembered you, that loved you because you'd loved it so much you'd died. A bunch of the heroes remembered him now, but the public has no clue who he is and more importantly, he still wonders sometimes about the people that weren't there in that fight.]

[People like Roxy, Rex, Makoa, Serling, Dubs... And had Guardian been in the fight, so that he'd remember him, too? He hadn't seen him. With Roxy, it especially hurt to think about it. She'd been wild, always on the run, living a crazy life, but they'd been like siblings before the end. And each time he'd run into her after, it was clear she still felt the same.]

[He hasn't sought them out. He'd rather just think they're out there somewhere, that they can magically remember, that the good he'd put into their lives was something they still carried with them, rather than find out the truth and deal with the heart ache.]

[But then he says that stuff about Clark and the word "brother" and he looks completely taken by surprise. That Jon might see him that way. That he wasn't in that general amorphous state of "random cousin."]

You don't have to apologize. You're busy being Superman.

[To his credit, he barely falters in saying it. There's only a slight twitch of something in his eyebrows that betrays his feelings on that are more complicated than he's saying. Because Jon doesn't deserve the baggage of that.]

And Clark just - you know, it was weird? All of it.

[He immediately starts making excuses.]

Like they stole his DNA and cloned someone when he didn't have a choice. And then they said I wasn't his clone, I was just a human clone that was genetically engineered to be like him, so he was like "hey I'll just occasionally do mentor stuff."

Then he brought me to live with Ma and Pa and was like "hey, you're like a little brother." Or cousin. And that was great.

[He hangs his head a little.]

But he found out half my DNA came from him, you know...

At the same time he found out where the other half came from.

That can't be easy. I was made to hurt him. That's why Luthor made me go all Manchurian candidate and attack the Titans and Outsiders. So Clark would have to face down all their mentors after they were dead, and know someone he'd cared about did it.

[Lex had been crazy. He'd thought Superman wouldn't be dead for good, at least if not by his hand. And he'd been right. So he created something to be there after his return.]

[What had he said? While Kon felt like he was drowning in his own body? "I know more about The Alien than anyone on this Earth. Kryptonite and magic will hurt him, but that's not what will destroy him. It never will be. You have to reach deeper. You have to find something he loves - or create something he will love. He loves his boy. And when his boy turns against the Justice League's children, when Superman buries those coffins, well that... that will kill him."]

So I get it. And then I didn't exist, and then I did, but he didn't remember me, but then he did.

It's got to be weird for him, but it's cool. You know, he said we were bros.

[It's a rush of defense for Clark because he struggles with the idea he can be wrong, that he can be anything less than perfect. It needs to be justified because if it's all completely reasonable, it won't matter.]

[What he has will be enough. It'll be okay he decided Jon would be the next Superman, even though Kon had so much experience being a hero and Jon probably could've used more time to recover from being stuck in absolute hell anyway. It'll be okay that he decided there could be more than one Superman - but not three.]

[If there's a good reason, he can try to not be hurt. He can try to not be angry. He can just swallow it down and know that maybe it was just never in the cards.]

[And maybe...]

[Maybe he can walk away and wear a costume that hurts a little less. Jim had been good to him. Even if he walked away.]

[And he can't be mad, because Clark is the only one that hasn't walked away. Dubs had. Jim had. Most of the older Titans had. He should be grateful that Clark's still around at all. (And of course he'd spend more time with his actual kid, but he's his dad, it's different.)]

I don't know how that works with you, but I mean, you know, you can have a bro-like relationship with other family. It's a weird situation so it's all just labels but the bro-ening itself would be good.

[exponentially]

[ he can tell that the word brother threw kon off. it's immediately obvious, from the startled thump of his heart to his unsteady next breath, and if it wasn't obvious, the panicked rambling would be more than telling to someone a whole lot more oblivious than jon.

he guesses he's not the only one who struggles to live up to this idea of clark. of superman. ]

Hey, [ he says, gentle, to stop him, turning a little more toward him on the log and freeing his arm so he can reach up, both hands cupping kon's face. ] Don't-- Don't do that. [ he squishes his cheeks a little, a brotherly rebuke. ] Don't.. trivialize your feelings. Don't make it out like they don't matter, because for all that Dad didn't ask for you to be brought into the world, you didn't, either. It's not your fault that Dad can't get his sh-- his stuff together when it comes to you. It's-- It's not really Dad's fault, either, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be confused and upset when none of us have really reached out like we should have.

[ his hands drop away from kon's face so he can take his hands instead, squeezing them as reassuringly as he can. ]

It's.. hard not to feel like you're not.. good enough. I know. Dad's been this.. [ he trails off helplessly, glance dropping to their hands, brows twitching together. ] He's so good, he doesn't always feel like a real person, and I was raised by him, so you'd think I'd know better. [ but the shadow that superman casts is a long one, and even at home, it had been hard for a child who'd worshiped his parents to find a flaw. realistically, jon knows they have them, but look at who they are. how is he ever supposed to live up to that? how can anyone?

and if superman seems uncertain about you, ambiguous about your relationship, well.. it must be your fault, right? there must be something wrong with you, you must not be good enough, strong enough, worthy enough.

he takes a breath, then glances back up, meeting kon's eyes. ] He'll come around or he won't, I can't say for sure either way. I missed-- [ no. ] Our relationship has had to change, and there's-- I'm still playing catch-up with things I should have learned over years, and that includes my relationship with my parents and the rest of my family. [ he squeezes kon's hands again. ] But whatever happens with Dad, I know you're my brother, and I'm going to make sure you never have to doubt that from now on.

[lowercase_el]

[Nobody but Ma ever really touches him like this. Takes his face by the hands as she says something deeply loving and sincere.]

[But Ma, through thick and thin, has fully embraced being a mother to him. It's not something she'll let go of, even with a new grandchild to fawn over. He'd say that maybe it helped that she's new to knowing Jon too, since she and Pa returned recently. That she wasn't there through most of Jon's life.]

[...If he didn't know that's just Ma. She got a big enough heart to hold an infinite number of family members in it.]

[He's not expecting it from Jon though. He doesn't know how much of it is Jon recognizing Kon's need to feel connected to the Kents - or how much of it is Jon's need to feel connected to the world again.]

[Kinda doesn't matter either way.]

[If he were a crier, he'd be crying over being so openly and unequivocally accepted, and even as it stands, his eyes get a little glassy. His throat is a little thick when he speaks.]

Man you are like crazy good at this feelings thing...

Yeah. Okay. Bros. We're bros.

[exponentially]

[ he smiles at the quiet comment, quiet and crooked and a little self-conscious. he doesn't think he's particularly good at any of this, considering the struggle he still has with his own baggage, but it doesn't take talent to be empathetic, to try to listen and understand, or to open your mind and heart to other people. especially when that other person is your brother.

he releases kon's hands so he can lean into his side again instead, smile widening with relief. ] Yeah? [ he said what he said and he believes it absolutely, but he also recognizes that it had really been up to kon in the end. if he hadn't really wanted their relationship to be that close, if he'd decided to keep some distance between them, well, jon would have respected it. after all, kon does have other family, a family he chose for himself, in tim and bart, in members of the titans; that's not something jon would want to get in the way of. ]

When we get home, I'll introduce you to my boyfriend. Maybe we can work together more, too. [ the thing about supers is that they can handle a massive patrol area all by themselves, but it doesn't mean jon doesn't want to work alongside his family sometimes. ]

[lowercase_el]

Great, I can threaten the guy a little. Big brother privileges.

[His tone suggests it's (mostly) a joke.]

And yeah, we can definitely work together more.

I sometimes work with your dad and Kara, it's just -

Things were different back in the day. In the first timeline. It was like, me, your dad, the Steels, and/or the old Supergirl, running around together sometimes. With a few others that came and went. Kinda stopped being as tight-knit after a while.

John retired, Nat sometimes had her own thing going on, the other Supergirl, Linda, just...disappeared. Something bad happened to her, where she was pushed into some no-win thing where she hated the choices she had to make, so she retired.

[He remembers Kal telling him about the letter and the box of stuff she'd left him. Clark had kept some of it, like her uniform, in the fortress. He'd let Kon keep the skateboard, though, felt like a teen might appreciate that memento from his friend the most.]

[He did love Kara, of course, but he and Linda had spent more time together, done more team ups, had more long talks somewhere weird like the top of the statue of Liberty. She'd been around longer than Kara, who mostly found her footing when Kon was dead.]

It'd be kinda nice to make more of a habit of it again with someone wearing the S.

Even if I'm not wearing it now.

[He mostly just kicks it with YJ anymore. Not even most of the Titans. The Titans are Damian's turf now, with that academy, and there's a ton of new kids familiar with each other that have no clue who Kon is.]

[Other than his friends, he's entirely disconnected from the superhero community anymore. Because when the world rebooted and everyone else got restarted, they'd lived that whole last third life in that world. He hadn't.]

[He looks into the fire.]

I appreciate the thought. Not sure where I fit in now. Back home.

[exponentially]

[ .. from the sound of it, kon's insecurities aren't so dissimilar to his own in a lot of ways. he's wondered this often enough himself. where does he belong? he'd found a community in the 31st century, but he'd lost it, because he doesn't really belong there. and at home in his time..? people so often still see the eleven-year-old boy he's supposed to be. he'd moved on. he'd had five years away from home, when everything there stayed the same. all of his friends from school are still children. damian's younger than he is now. the older teens don't know how to react to him. it's impossible to meet new people because all anyone out of the community sees is superman.

he hesitates, then slides his arm around kon's waist again, squeezing reassuringly. ]

You have us, [ he offers after a few quiet, reflective moments. ] Me, and Ma and Pa, and Kara. Dad.. Mom, too, at home and here. You have Tim and Bart, and they're your family, too, right? That's a pretty good start to figuring out where you're happiest, I think.

[ he inhales through his nose as he picks his words, trying to put voice to how he feels about it. .. it's lonely, he guesses. he knows he's been lonely before, both at home and here. kon's old life is gone, and now at home he's part of a new one. and here? he can't even wear the shield, something he of all people deserves to have. he can't use his name, either of them, and that makes jon sick at heart to think of. ]

It doesn't have to be all at once. You have time, and you have people that love you.