(closed) you better watch out. you better watch out

[eggplanting]

Who: Steph Brown eggplanting, Bart Allen, Cass Cain, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Kon-El, Jon Kent
What: Slumber party with the DC vigilante/hero kids
When: Mid-December
Where: Bart's farm in Little Love
Content Warnings: hopefully none!
Notes: Threadjacking is encouraged, as is vaguely waving our hands at the concept of linear time so that we don't have to think too hard about logistics



'Twas the night week before Christmas, when all through the house...

Pretty much everyone was stirring, because there's a party to enjoy.

Calling it a party may be a slight stretch, when there's really only a handful of them and they're not going to get up to anything more intense than playing Mario Kart and watching movies from the 90s, but Steph thought that labeling it a sleepover might sound a little immature. The idea had percolated over the last few weeks; there's a good handful of them now, from roughly the same universe, but not all of them know each other well, and while Steph might not be as tactically minded as someone like Tim, it had seemed sensible that they do a little team building.

Also, it should be fun. That's very important.

With Bart being the only one living in a space that could actually be considered a house, she'd reached out to ask if he'd be cool with hosting, and had sent out texts to the rest of their friends once she had his approval. Not being a jerk, she'd also promised to swing by early to help set up, for all the set up that needs to be done when a handful of people in their twenties hang out. Mostly it involved grabbing a few extra bean bags, setting up the TV and game consoles, and adding a few seasonally appropriate holiday decorations.

The invitation texts served the secondary purpose of assigning everyone some kind of snack or beverage to bring, most of it falling into typical junk food fare. Chips and dip, soda, pizza rolls, pretzels (the soft variety, of course), mozzarella sticks, popcorn. People are welcome to get fancier, but she'd mostly suggested things they could eat as is, or food that's easy to pop in the oven. This isn't a gala thrown by Bruce, after all. And with none of them being particularly big drinkers, she'd just told everyone it was BYOB if they want to get alcohol involved in their evening.

It's unlikely any of them would want to get wasted. While they're all strictly off duty for the evening, 'drunken misadventures' isn't really the vibe Steph is going for with this whole thing; it's meant to be a relaxing, fun evening, where they can eat, watch movies, and get into unnecessarily heated arguments about video games before crashing wherever they can find a soft surface at the end of the night. As if they're normal young adults and not a gaggle of traumatized vigilantes and lab experiments.

Later in the evening, after they've all poured outside to make s'mores around an improvised firepit, she'll probably break out some silly party games, like Never Have I Ever, or worse, card games like Uno. Because nothing says fun like arguing over whether it's morally right to use two skips in a row.

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Comments

[mostdangerousbird]

[ He doesn’t shrug off the hand until the sensation of his head going one way and his stomach the other abates. ]

Why is me being me bad? What does everyone expect me to be?

[Someone boisterous and fun, like then, who waltzes into a party and is in the party rather that at the party. Or is the party, which he couldn’t pull off if he cosplayed Pin the Tail on the Donkey. They’d just call him a jackass.

Oh no, wait, that’s what they’re doing now, because he can’t let go and relax. ]

He’s telling everyone he’s a clone, Bart’s making friends with Inertia, and I’m the bad guy! Even you think so.

[ Of course, Steph is on their side. She thinks like them; that’s why he likes her. He needs friends that are squirrelly and cautious and smart. Why does he keep collecting these people? ]

[eggplanting]

Don't put words in my mouth.

[It's very, very clear that he's going through something, but they're past the point where Steph will let him get away with something like that. He can be upset, and he can even be upset with her, he just doesn't get to put words in her mouth or twist what she's said to fit his current worldview.]

I don't think you're the bad guy; I get why Kon did what he did, but I dunno that it was smart. [Brave, sure, but brave doesn't equal smart. She's learned that lesson many, many times.] And I don't know nearly enough about Bart and Inertia's situation to have an opinion on it. So no, you're not the bad guy, and you being you isn't bad, but let's not pretend that you've got the best coping methods.

[She's aware that she's throwing glass stones in this particular house, but she's not the one that's drunk right now, so she thinks she's allowed.]

I just worry about you, 'cause you're my friend and I love you.

[mostdangerousbird]

My coping skill’s fine!

[ Shouts the drunk boy shivering outside instead of having a nice time inside, where it’s warm, if he would only cope better. ]

I don’t need to cope. It’s not a cope thing, it’s not a worry about Tim thing again.

[ God, he messed up one time in however many universes this is and no one ever lets him forget that he throws caution too far to the wind when he’s upset.

That’s why he came out here so no one could see. See? Caution, right there. ]

You’re the only one who’s asked if I’m okay.

[ Meaning: thanks. For caring. Even though it’s not helping, she’s here. He wouldn’t have been able to say it without the rum either.

Also meaning: that is how much it’s not a worry-about-Tim thing. She’s the only one here. ]

[eggplanting]

[It's definitely a cope thing and it's also definitely a worry about Tim thing, but saying any of that won't actually help the situation, it'll only put him more on the defensive.]

I'm probably the only one that's not scared of saying the wrong thing and fucking things up.

[She hears what he isn't quite saying, and she's.... glad? that he knows she cares, she just also wants him to know that the others care, too. They likely just worry about not knowing how to handle Tim when he's upset like this. None of them are especially adept at navigating emotions. It's not that she thinks she can't say the wrong thing to make it worse, that would be ridiculous.

The thing is, she's decided that saying the wrong thing is worth it. Better to try and fail, than to leave Tim alone and hurting. If he's angry at her for a few weeks after this, fine, she's a big girl, she can deal with that.

At least he'll know she cared enough to try.]

But if it's not a cope thing, and it's not a worry thing, what is it?

[mostdangerousbird]

[ Throwing his arms wide, Tim gives shrugs with more sarcasm than should be possible for such a non-response. ]

I don’t know! I don’t always have the answers, but nobody pays to me anyway so you guys never notice. I could do a full length TED talk on stupid boys that don’t listen and the ending would be in conclusion nothing I’ve said matters because my audience is them.

[ And, even if she’s not a stupid boy, she’s included in this them, somehow. ]

And I just keep chasing after everyone trying to clean up their mess. You know what I gave Bruce for Christmas last year? A custom-built auto-suturing device.

[ There’s a huff of breath that’s like one choked off chuckle. ]

Totally normal. I can’t talk people out of being dumbasses. I try to plan for when it goes kablooey, and then Kon explodes on me. He’s probably halfway to Central City to chain himself to the guild headquarters in protest to get back at me. Meanwhile I’m stuck in Kansas, and I lost my bottle.

[ He crosses his arms across his chest, satisfied he’s made his point. ]

[eggplanting]

[What Steph is quickly learning is that Tim being drunk might be an advantage in this situation, since he's spilling all this stuff that he'd clam up about in any other situation. None of it is especially shocking, though she wonders exactly what he did to upset Kon, but it still makes it easier when he spells it out for her, so she doesn't have to guess.

Or so he can't accuse her of being wrong when they both know she's right.]

Tim —

[Where to even start? Half of her wants to shake him, the other wants to hug him.

It's moments like these that make her glad they're not dating anymore.]

No one's asking you to plan for us or clean up our messes. I know it's hard to step back, and I know you're only doing it 'cause you care and you worry about us, but if it's stressing you out this much, you can stop. We're not kids anymore, we can make our own mistakes and solve our own problems.

[This is going to have zero effect on him, she knows that, too. It needs to be said, regardless. Someone needs to remind him that he isn't responsible for the whole world.]

[mostdangerousbird]

No, I can’t! They’re not just YOUR mistakes in a closed system! Why can’t any of you fucking get this?!

[ Tim comes towards her, fast but off kilter, and jabs a finger in her direction, voice caught between a hiss and a yell. ]

Your mistakes are my problems because I’m the one left behind every time. Inertia got Bart killed. Prime hated Kon because he was “the real” Superboy and Kon was a clone. You want to take my costume and finish setting up this nightmare?! Cass is already stealing my Cheerios on a weekly basis, she could grab it for you.

[eggplanting]

[They've argued before, about things that matter, about things that don't. Tim's been angry with her before, more than a handful of times, especially back when she was reckless, and it's never really troubled her, before.

But Tim has never been drunk during an argument. The way he moves is familiar, but not because she's ever seen him that way. It's too much like her mom, too much like her dad.

It's enough to make her retreat a step back, fists clenched at her sides as her heart leaps up into her throat. It's enough that the words, once she parses them, land like a punch to the gut.

What does she say to that? Useless promises that they won't leave him again? Stupid platitudes about how it's going to be okay, how she's sorry? Tim lost so many people in such a short time, and she's not stupid enough to think that getting most of them back would ever truly heal that wound.]

We get it. I get it.

[Maybe she can't speak for the others. Maybe Kon and Bart don't get it. She thinks they do, though, from what she's learned of them so far.

She should say something else, should do something else, but that spike of fear makes it hard to think, and the guilt only makes it worse.]

I'm sorry.

[Stupid platitudes it is, then.]

[mostdangerousbird]

[ Steph… steps back.

Shrinks really.

That’s not right. Tim falters. First his hand stops poking the air. Then it droops down. There’s something- Steph doesn’t stop when he yells. She doesn’t know when to quit, and she is absolutely willing to get in his face. She has never been in awe of him.

There’s something really wrong that he can’t see, if she’s stepping back. He didn’t win that hard. ]

Steph?

[ He thinks he should take a step back, to get a more complete look at her. He also thinks he should take a step forward and hug her. His legs understand neither message, and he takes a seat on the frozen ground. Hard.

He’s staring at her hands clenched into fists. Like she was going to hit him. What does that say about her apology? ]

Don’t be sorry. I didn’t ask you to be sorry. I don’t ask for anything. Not a lot.

[ It gets a little unintelligible for a few seconds, as he’s sliding into the emotional phase of drinking that usually comes before passing out. Tim might not understand what he did, but it’s tapped a well of guilt and more frustration at not knowing how to fix yet another problem.

A hodgepodge of pronouns, the word “safe” is in there thrice, love is lost in the middle, galoot makes an appearance, and a random “I hate chickens” is clearly directed at the coop. ]

… just something to be alive on the same planet.

[eggplanting]

[The wince that comes when Tim hits the ground is entirely out of sympathy for the bruises he's going to have tomorrow, and it serves to diffuse the lingering fear, leaving not much except for guilt and melancholy.

It hurts seeing Tim this way, the volatile emotions and the fact that he's so obviously struggling and has been bottling it for god knows how long.

When she moves again, it's to kneel down beside him and take one of his hands in hers while the other goes to his shoulder. She wants to pull him into a hug, but she's not going to force it on him, so she makes do with very light guidance. If he tries to pull away, she'll let go, but if he doesn't resist he's getting tugged into her for a proper hug.]

I'm here right now, I'm not going anywhere.

[That's the best she can offer him.]

[mostdangerousbird]

[ Steph is the best, and he really hasn't been the best in return. Hasn't been decent, sometimes, so for her to be here and him leaning against her literally. It's a lot.

The guidance goes unnoticed. The rum bottle does not from this angle, but he doesn't go for it. Just leans into her arm (was he already leaning? It's hard to tell.) and closes his eyes. ]

'm sorry.

[ Tim's not sure why, but he is. He's clearly done something wrong, so he might as well start with her. ]

[eggplanting]

There's nothing to apologize for.

[Did he accidentally scare her, for a second there? Sure. Does it matter to Steph? Absolutely not.

It wasn't something done intentionally, and he immediately backed off once he realized something was off; she's hardly going to hold that against him when drunk. It isn't his fault she's a minefield of issues, sometimes.

As for the rest of it, it's very clear that he's struggling, and she only regrets not realizing sooner, how bad it seems to have gotten.

She gives his shoulders a gentle squeeze, then plants a kiss on the top of his head.]

You wanna head inside? I'm sure Bart wouldn't mind if you took a nap on his bed.

[mostdangerousbird]

[ No protest at the kiss. No recognition of it either, but at least there's no determined struggle to escape or deflect. He wants to not be "here", but it's hard to disappear when he needs a ride home. ]

We can go inside.

[ Tim will get up a little shakily when she does, and he'll swipe that bottle on the way up unless he's beat to it. ]

But I don't need a nap.