metalogs | [Open] Trying Not to Fall Apart

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[Open] Trying Not to Fall Apart

Who: Donnie

purplexing and you!
What: Oh you know, just an average week in the life of a teenage mutant ninja nerd
When: Early June before things start to really implode
Where: Central
Content Warnings: N/A, will update as needed

can't sleep something will eat me - Apartment
It's easier to sleep when you run yourself ragged and let yourself pass out. Then there's a seventy percent chance that you'd be too exhausted to dream. That hadn't necessarily been his plan but it had been more or less effective the night he, Leo and Accelerator had come back from their tech heist. Since then, sleep had been...elusive.

While it's not unusual for Donnie to pull late to all-nighters, he's been leaning on such practices extra hard lately. It's easier to get away with when he's got actual projects. Guy's telescoping stun baton gets done relatively quickly in this regard. The game systems they'd found at the recycling center have been reappropriated into a single gaming system and they now had a high-definition projector that freed them from the constraints of a flatscreen TV. Spare phones have been repaired, wiped and upgraded in the case that they might run into anyone who needed a phone or just didn't trust the ones the Guild handed out.

But even productive turtle teens need sleep, and whenever he succumbs to it, it's always fitful and ends up with him clawing his way to wakefulness, away from the blood-filled nightmares with the grasping, reaching hands and tendrils. Sometimes he stays in his room, other times he slips out to sit in the kitchen wrapped around a cup of coffee or huddled under a blanket on the couch, reading a book or poking around things on his phone. If his head's clear enough then he'll do some late night work dismantling something or another, or work on repairing circuitboards.

third time's a charm - Sewers
The whole point of having a lair deep in the sewers is so people can't get to it easily. The sewers are already a maze, but thanks to the flooding from all the rain last month, Donnie's managed to get a decent amount of it mapped out with the aid of his mystic-tech. They aren't as convoluted and full of abandoned places like New York, but he and Leo had finally found a promising location.

Moving things into a new lair is never much fun. They'd already had to rebuild their home once, after all. Here at least they don't have too much stuff to worry about, but then they are still basically starting from scratch. Priority had gone to hauling their ill-gained goods down there once basic setup had been handled, some tidying up (okay, a lot of tidying up), and initial security measures installed. With things stirring in the world above, Donnie's not taking any chances.

There's still a lot to do, but they've got this much done. It's just a shame that they have to do this at all after getting so used to living almost normally.

what a town - Around Central
Life still goes on, even when you're trying to play things cool after being mildly (?) traumatized, even when there've been drastic changes in the meta-world.

There are library books to be returned, after all, and if Donnie can't sneak-borrow more by using Leo's card, he can at least read things there, his earphones bumping some techno or K-Pop (it's catchy okay) so he doesn't accidentally nod off. It's an attempt, anyway.

Coffee runs go without saying, and there's something nice about being able to sit in a cafe enjoying an iced latte. It's a change of atmosphere and he can more or less blend in with others who are here tapping at their laptops and tablets. Kind of. Other times he'll just be grabbing a drink to go, so one might catch him all purple hoodied up on his way to or from.

It might be weird be hard to believe, but Donnie has other hobbies, which is why at some point or another one might come across him carrying a small cardboard box with a variety of plants ready to be repotted. The backpack slung over his shoulder holds a few pots and some potting soil. He's a turtle on a mission and nothing is keeping him from working on a balcony garden. Alternatively one can find him perusing the selection at a small plant nursery or shop.

that other option - Wildcard
(Got any other ideas/requests? Have at it or ping me on discord or the plork!)

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"A gun?" Donnie looks up from his coffee, somehow surprised by the admission. He can't argue that it's basic and effective. Guns are relatively easy to use. He's not sure why the notion seems stranger to him than his offering to give the esper a laser. Maybe it's because it's such a standard weapon.

"Guess that's true enough. Have you used one before? And does the guild kit out people that way or do they just leave its members to its own devices?"

"Sure have," Accelerator responds immediately. Honestly, he doubts he'd be considering a gun if he hadn't already gotten experience with that shotgun back home. "I don't know what their policy is on firearms, I haven't asked. It isn't in their rules, though, so I assume as long as using it conforms to what they've set out it won't matter."

Overall, the Society seems very intent on leaving people alone as long as they follow those rules, for better or for worse. He frowns a little harder than normal as he takes another sip of coffee, looking away.

"I don't want to go through them, anyways. I don't need to owe them more than I already do."

"Hm." Donnie has to nod though. The less you relied on the guilds, the better, in his opinion. "Probably a good idea. So where're you going to get one? Bet you could've just grabbed the one that guy had if we got him to drop it. Then there's ammo that you need to worry about, I guess."

He's more versed in melee weapons, but there's never been much interesting in regular weapons. Even Jupiter Jim had a specialized artillery!

"Yeah...." It would have been stolen, but he isn't too fussed about something like that. He looks down at his coffee, swirling it thoughtfully as he remembers how hard it had been to use the shotgun. "No guarantee it would've worked for what I need, though. If I'm gonna be holding my crutch I need something light, that I can reload with one hand."

Ugh, he remembers the one time he had tried firing the shotgun without leaning up against a wall. The recoil had sent him straight on his ass.

Donnie nods. He doesn't need to be a gun expert to figure what a noodle like Accelerator would need. A shotgun is the last thing he'd picture this kid using.

"So probably straight up buying one, if you can find a place that'd sell to you." He is pretty sure there's laws in place for that. But there's probably a lot of workarounds. Lightweight, single-handed reloading... There go the gears of his brain again before he waves it off with a hand, tipping his cup back to finish off his coffee.

"Right." Accelerator nods at that. Buying one might mean he can try a few one out beforehand, rather than trying out his luck by stealing one. There's... just the matter of his age.

"This is America. There has to be someone around here who doesn't care who they're selling to," he says lightly. If they had been in Japan it'd be a different matter, but as far as he knows America has always been a lot more easygoing with firearms.

It was sadly true, a point Donnie can only concede with a shrug. "And if all else fails, I guess you can always tail some of these lowlifes and see who's providing."

Not particularly his line of interest so he only had vague ideas of where one went procuring potentially illegal firearms. Although he suspects most of the illegal part would be Accelerator's owning one.

He finishes off his coffee with just a slightly disappointed look that it's gone. "In the meantime, I can work on customizations for the crutch. I have all the specs so I won't need to borrow it from you since I already worked out things in case you changed your mind."

It isn't a bad idea. Sure, he isn't a ninja, but he can still tail thugs from the rooftops pretty easily.

"Sure." There's the twinge of guilt at letting Donnie work on more upgrades to his crutch, but after their last conversation he's doing his best to ignore it. Though he pauses, looking down at what's remaining of his coffee. "... I tried that battery charger you rugged together. It works pretty well as a back-up." Something else he's getting, free of charge.

He sighs. "If you ever need some particle accelerator work done, just ask."

Because now that Donnie has some real equipment, he's clearly only a few steps away from wanting to smash atoms into each other.

"The wha? Oh! I completely forgot about that." Then again he'd rigged that thing together when he was half-asleep. He'll probably work on another one that isn't just a quick rewiring job.

Accelerator's casual offer almost goes over his head, so for a moment Donnie has to stare at him. And because it is Accelerator, he knows it's not a joke, as crazy as it sounds.

He sniffs, wiping away an imaginary tear. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever offered me." Oh the doors that have been opened! If Accelerator ever catches the flu, maybe he can ask him for uranium.

It really should be a joke. Who the hell offers the equivalent of a particle accelerator while relaxing with a cup of coffee? But even if Accelerator mostly uses his ability for destructive purposes, at the end of the day that's what it is, particle acceleration, and if anyone's going to find that useful in a scientific context it's going to be Donnie.

He does look completely unamused with Donnie's reaction, though that isn't surprising. "Hah," he replies, deadpan. "You're hilarious."

As much as Donnie's response may have been in jest, it's kind of true once he considers it. ...which is kind of sad so he stops thinking about it and instead smirks as he leans back in his seat, wiggling around his mostly empty coffee cup.

"Dad always said I was the funny one," he replies. "Anyway, guns or staff, you better work on those muscles. Particle acceleration doesn't build those."

Accelerator doesn't think too much of it, and huffs. "I wouldn't have to worry about exercise if I could still use it consistently. Manipulating my body's vectors more than made up for whatever muscles I don't have. It was a lot easier to do, too."

He's sounding rather annoyed, now, though it's directed towards himself rather than Donnie. "I seriously never had to worry about any bullshit like this before the brain injury. What a pain in the ass."

"There's that lazy angle again," Donnie notes, leaning an elbow back on the table to prop his head up as he sets his cup down. "I know mental ability is amazing and all but you do kind of have to- ahah, you're gonna hate me for bringing it up again- put some effort into taking care of the rest of yourself. I mean, your brain's no good without the rest of your body."

His brow creases at the mention of the injury. It's a frightening thing to think about, really. It had certainly brought Accelerator down some pegs.

"What happened anyway..?" he starts to ask.

It isn't exactly easy to get over what happened, especially since it happened so recently. Not that Accelerator regrets for an instant that night, but... well, life doesn't exactly prepare you for traumatic brain injuries. It throws you into the deep end and expects you to sink or swim.

He isn't really surprised Donnie is asking. They know each other well enough that the question isn't an awkward or rude one, so he doesn't mind it. He's already discussed it with Leo and that had gone pretty well, it was nice to be able to get it out in the open and reflect on it a little, so....

"One of the scientists working on my development shot me in the head," Accelerator replies bluntly, reaching up to jab a finger square in the middle of his forehead. "I pissed him off, and I guess he was really desperate."

And terrified. He was never going to forget just how utterly terrified Amai had been. The guy had been practically frothing at the mouth.

He shakes his head, and continues in his usual seriously tired tone. "I had my reflection down at the time. I got it back up before the bullet could kill me, but it still shattered my skull and caused a brain hemorrhage. I know there's usually a memory loss around when an injury like that happens, but I still remember everything leading up to it, and then blacking out, and waking up for a couple of minutes before it really got to me and I went unconscious."

It seems only logical to ask since it's been brought up again, and Donnie's thoughts on timing are about the same in that regard. By default he expects that it's probably terrible, and indeed it proves to be one of those moments he wishes he were wrong once Accelerator answers in his usual manner.

Donnie grimaces, but forestalls further questions, mostly because he figures that's enough information to digest. Of course Accelerator gives the rest of the details quite freely, and the turtle tries not to make too many faces even as his shoulders tense up while he sits back, folding his arms tightly in front of him.

"Oh, that's...uh. Yikes. All the things I did not know and never wanted to think about." His own response makes him wince after a moment.

"...sorry if that sounded careless. You got off really lucky. Brain injuries are not anything to shrug off."

It's certainly morbid, and Accelerator isn't the kind of person to circle around that fact. If someone wants to know what happened, then they get to know what happened without any sugarcoating.

... Even if what happened was horrible.

"No, you're right," he replies slowly. "It's not like anyone ever thinks 'hey, I wonder what it's like to get shot in the head.' It was fucking insane. I should be dead right now, but I'm not."

"That's something, at least. I know the whole relying on a computer to supplement basic brain activity isn't ideal, but clearly you haven't given up on being alive in spite of that."

Donnie's not much for knowing how to offer encouragement, much less how to be reassuring, so he always defaults to facts, and there's enough he's gleaned from observation to plug together. Pros and cons. You just ignore the obvious cons because in this case, the other party's well aware of those.

Accelerator knows Donnie well enough to not expect hollow attempts at platitude. That, though, sure is something to hear.

His expression shifts to something less annoyed, more somber. "... Well. I can't."

He can't leave Last Order alone, not in a dangerous world that's still out to get her. And he can't leave the remaining Sisters when they still may need him. It'll never make up for what he did, but someone needs to be there to make sure they aren't used again. The attempted theft of the Tree Diagram's remnants and that night with Kihara proved that.

"I've got shit I still need to do back home," he continues, vague as hell and not providing any details.

By now Donnie knows that Accelerator tends to offer the barest minimum when it comes to details. The change in the esper's expression speaks volumes, even when it doesn't quite explain things.

Donnie arches a brow, about the most to suggest an invitation to expound on that response, but otherwise he isn't really pressing for it. It's still a valid enough reason given, vague as it is.

"Fair enough," he nods. "That's as good a motivation as any."

"...." There's only silence on Accelerator's end. He knows it's shitty of him to remain vague like this, but he can't bring himself to say anything further.

He does sigh, eventually, finishing off his coffee. "Anyways. It only happened a month before I got here, so I'll quit dwelling on what I lost eventually. And I'm not about to let it happen again, which is why I'm trying to do what I can to manage the half hour of reflection that I still have."

Do you ever stop thinking about the things you've lost? Donnie knows it's not something that just goes away, but he knows you couldn't move forward if you kept looking back.

They're on the same page when it comes to not wanting to let something happen again, though. The turtle's expression darkens briefly before he nods, echoing Accelerator's sigh.

"Well, just remember, you don't have to tackle things alone." Hypocrite. "I know, I know, effort and payback, etcetera, etcetera, but the offer's there anyway, okay?"

It isn't be surprising to hear Donnie saying he doesn't have to deal with things alone, but all the same Accelerator isn't expecting it. He purses his lips, silent again, processing thing.

It's hard for him to. He isn't used to hearing this, people don't offer him help. Once again, Donnie is being way too kind towards someone who doesn't deserve it.

He looks away, remembering how their conversation in the library had gone. Pushing back hadn't made the situation any easier, so he resists the urge this time. "Tche."

It's... better than him telling Donnie off for being nice? He moves to stand, grabbing his empty coffee cup. "Come on, let's get out of here."

For all that Donnie takes on by himself, he knows it wouldn't be the same if his family wasn't there to some capacity. It might only be one other person here, but it still makes all the difference, and even if it had been in a roundabout way, Accelerator had still helped them find each other.

For all the indifference and the roughness that the esper puts on display, Donnie knows he's not heartless. And in a strange new world, even the emotionless bad boys can get lonely.

"Yeah," he agrees then, picking up his own cup as he pushes his chair back. Accelerator saying nothing is already better than him arguing. Donnie takes this as a win, hiding a tiny smirk.

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[Open] Trying Not to Fall Apart

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