OPEN | Paint Yourself A New Life

[helpdesk_hero]

Who: David Alleyne helpdesk_hero, Mina Ashido pinkxeno, Harry Osborn nepotis, Bucky Barnes sinistral
What: David Has Many Meetings (Including Open Post)
When: [Forward Dated] April 1st through 5th
Where: Excelsior - Guild Housing #1, Excelsior - Connoisseur Coffee,
Content Warnings: Only in Thread Labeled V - Seeking Comfort: discussion of murder of children, attempted suicide, David's death, hate crimes

I. A Home Of Clashing Styles | Closed to Mina Ashido | Excelsior - Guild Housing #1
David had been living in the guild apartment for a month now, or just a shade over, and all that time he'd been holding his tongue. Beyond introducing himself to Mina when he'd first moved in at the start of March, he had not engaged with the young woman much, and definitely didn't stay long in the public spaces of their shared home. How could he when he was faced with the absolute disaster of the appearance? A living room painted electric green with zebra stripes? Horrid. A kitchen filled with insanely colorful and not always matching touches and appliances? Oh god. Even the small touches of decoration in the public spaces made David try not to wince.

Honestly, he hadn't even invited his boyfriend over because of the state of things. Most days he just came home from work or other things, walked in the door, visibly winced, and went right to his room or attached lab. But today, as he came back from the office in full business wear, vest and long sleeve shirt and tie and all of that. And walking in like that, with his back pack and a bag of groceries for him to cook dinner, he just couldn't take it anymore.

"Just... do it like an adult," he told himself before lifting his voice, hoping it would carry to wherever his housemate was.

"Mina, can we talk for a moment?"


II. Looking At The Moving Pieces | Closed to Bucky | Excelsior - Guild Housing #1
The weekend. David made a hard and fast rule to not go into the office on weekends, which made it the perfect sort of time for outside consultations. Today was one of those instances. After a previously successful first meeting with one Bucky Barnes (because of course David had recognized the man for who he had to be) back in March, today was going to be the first full check over, for the two of them to determine if David would be a good emergency tech for the man.

David waited in the living room for the knock at the door, knowing he'd have to let the former Winter Soldier choose his own pace at being comfortable with his arrival. What what little first hand knowledge that had been shared with him by people back home, he imagined the man would be... nervous. But David couldn't be certain. He'd met people from other versions of his world, and they didn't always line up personality wise.

But he was going to do his best to support the guy, and try and hide that he might have pre-formed opinions based on a whole other man. So he kept himself quiet and patient until he heard the knock at the door. David rose quickly and moved to it, opening the door to meet the other man.

"Mister Barnes, good afternoon. Come on in. Would you like any refreshments before I guide you back to my work room?"

He had no intention of calling it a lab. Not with a man no doubt tormented by his universe's Hydra.


III. The Coffee Conundrum | Closed to Harry Osborn | Excelsior - Connoisseur Coffee
Coffee. It was something that mattered to David, quite a bit actually. Caffeine was part of his diet, perhaps more than it should be. And, until he had the money to properly kit his kitchen out with a good brewing set up, David found a local coffee shop to indulge his needs. The world had blessed him with a great coffee shop between the apartment and his office, and it was here that David appeared multiple times a day. A quick stop in first thing for a coffee on the way to work, a trip in the evening for a cup to take home, and of course this, his lunch break.

David was currently settled in the cafe as he was most afternoons, in a table near a wall that normally wasn't the most desirable area of the care. His back was to the wall, and in front of him on the smaller table was a laptop. The other chair at the table was taken up by a back pack, and taking up the rest of the room on the table was another laptop, sitting closed, which was a weird thing, unless one knew David. Truth was the two laptops were interfaced, and he was using his technopathy to boost the processing of the one he was currently working on.

Thing was most days David did this, and it wasn't a problem. But today? Today there was a convention in town, something David wasn't aware of, and the cafe had packed to almost bursting when David wasn't aware of it. He'd been too engrossed in his current design project, his attention flicking back and forth between his typing and the medical journal at his side, opened to a recent article about a new study on regenerative rates of the nervous system. Truly, he had no idea how rude he was being taking up a table that could be used by others, especially after he'd finished his packed punch and coffee just a few minutes ago.

Perhaps someone should go and shuffle the man out of the space.


IV. Wildcard | Open to all
[OOC: I'm open to anything here, giving David a chance to hang out with his standing CR or meet new people. My only rule is that interactions would happen in Excelsior. If you have an idea that the above open post doesn't allow for, either private message this account or hit me up on plurk at churbooseanon or discord at Churby#4290. OR throw your own starter out in here. I'm happy to do many things.

IF you're looking for things that may be good hooks, David's a technopath, associated with a company that makes prosethetics and assistive technology, an accomplished chef that will be hitting up stores around the city for quality food and cookware/appliances, a technopath that will be around many computer shops, and honestly? He's a hockey nerd so you might find him at sports bars sometimes. Other than that, he'll likely often be out reading books in parks, or even just scientific journals. Guy has a spread of interests and we can talk it out to figure what might best hook a character into paying attention to him or coming over to say hi.]

Comments

[helpdesk_hero]

That's... not what David was expecting. He thought that the explanation, the justification, would make Balthier understand. That sometimes people guarded their own hearts and that's not a bad thing for them to do, though it would be better that they didn't hurt someone in the process.

"I did, though. Turn to stone. It took others to open me up again. And... sometimes they betrayed me too. I started to think maybe it wasn't my place to be loved. That trying would just find me punished again. I... was learning to be better until recently."

[portolan]

"Dear one, what are you digging for me to say? That I suddenly see you're somehow not worthy? Don't do this to yourself -- if you keep asking people to devalue you, they eventually will. You'll fulfill the prophecy you asked them for."

He sighs, because he knows that hurt, knows that spiral. As much as he's frustrated with David, he's frustrated with himself.

"It's not a weakness that it takes others to help heal. You're allowed to want community, David. You're allowed to want love. And I know being repeatedly denied it makes it feel like maybe we just weren't meant for it.

"Healing isn't linear. Nor is it easy."

[helpdesk_hero]

For a long moment he's silent, contemplating. And then he has to shake his head and laugh.

"I have four psychology degrees, you know. I've got the classes in my head, I know this all very well. ANd yet it takes someone else saying the words for me to understand what I've been doing."

In other words 'yes, I hear you'.

[portolan]

"Being brilliant does not automatically mean treating ourselves correctly," he says, but he's smiling at David's laugh, smiling that some part of that got through. He'd expected it to escalate, he realizes. For David to become angry and insist he was wrong. To leave.

For all Balthier is good at lying, he's not good at backing down from what he really thinks. And that's gotten him hurt before.

"Besides, there's no version of this where you're supposed to do it all alone."

[helpdesk_hero]

"Yes, but I'm not used to people wanting to have my back. Except for Josh, since I came into these worlds. Which I guess is why possibly losing his friendship was terrifying."

He leaned more against Balthier, but his hand kept rubbing at his chest, over his heart. Where once he had a scar.

"But I suppose in the end, even if I lose him I'll still have friends like Bart. And the most amazing man who loves me in you. The man who makes me brave enough to love."

[portolan]

"If loss isn't frightening, then the relationship wasn't meaningful. But, yes, I can see why fear of that particular loss hit you so deeply."

He doesn't miss the way David rubs at his heart.

"I hope that he sees sense, but you deserve people who will show up for you. Like Bart. Like me."

His mind wants to drop the last bit. David's said it before. And as good at Balthier is at building up others, he's terrible at valuing that in himself.

"I want you to always feel safe and brave with me, or like you can get back there. You make me want to be brave too, and bold. And honest. I like who I am with you."

[helpdesk_hero]

"I like who I am with you too," David admitted, and then he curled in more, curling his head under Balthier's chin. He wanted to stay there. This worked. A lot. "I like how I feel like I can be all of me with you."

[portolan]

It did work. So well. He resettles around David, gently gliding his fingertips over the other man's back.

"That is all I want," he says. Honesty.

"Also, let the record show that regardless of how brilliant you are, I am a poet, and therefore I am always right."

[helpdesk_hero]

Again David burst out laughing. What a thing to say.

"Poets are often credited with seeing too rosy of a picture of the world, Balthier. Is that the claim you wish to have?"

[portolan]

It is such a joy to make David laugh.

"First off, we become the stories we tell so yes, I absolutely want that claim. Second, I would argue poets are also moody, morose, intense, and prone to fits melancholy, so I should think that range makes me infallibly believable."

Though he's aware today that David really hasn't seen him morose. He's so good at keeping himself tucked away when he is low. He probably owes it to the other man to let that down a little. Meet vulnerability with vulnerability.

Being the one who supports is so much easier than being the one who is supported.

[helpdesk_hero]

"Thank you," David said at last, his voice soft. This... was something he needed. A lot.

He let his eyes close at that.

"I should probably look into how things are going."

[portolan]

"If it will make you feel more at peace, then check, otherwise wait until tomorrow."

David might be calmed down, but that didn't mean others were.

[helpdesk_hero]

"It would. And I can't wait. There's too much that I might be called in on," he admits, though he doesn't sound certain that he's happy with that. Doesn't mean it's not true though.

[portolan]

"I'm going to trust your judgement, but I'm also going to say with all the love and judgement in my poet's heart, please limit yourself to only your responsibilities."

[helpdesk_hero]

That was something David wasn't sure he'd follow through with, even if he did agree, but he'd try.

"Alright. I'll agree. If you give me more port."

[portolan]

He's not expecting David to change today because he said some pretty words. But he is expecting to start laying a voice in David's head that will remind him to question the narrative he has so solidly established.

"Always such high demands of me." He refills both their glasses with half-pours. David said he could cut him off, but there is no real benefit to him being drunk. The emotions are largely already out, and the last thing he wants is something else to happen and drunk David to spiral or go try rushing into it.

[helpdesk_hero]

"I used to have scars," he says, his voice meditative. Not as shaken, or scared. Just... A statement. "I used to carry the marks of the death. I thought when I didn't have them anymore I might be able to move on. Guess not."

[portolan]

"I thought you said you didn't believe in easy things being handed to you."

He's not teasing, he's making a point.

"The emotional wound is still in there. I don't think you've tended to it yet. It has to be cleaned before it will heal."

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh damn him for being correct. David sighs.

"Yeah, you're right. In so many ways. You're just far too smart. I love it."

Because he doesn't feel like he's too smart around Balthier.

[portolan]

“That is fortunate news, seeing as I’m incapable of turning that off.”

He will minimize himself in other ways, but not that one. It’s good to be with someone who likes that, who can keep up and challenge him.

[helpdesk_hero]

Well, there it was. The message incoming from the kid.

"He's okay," David says with a grin. "The kid's doing better. I guess that's one less stress."

[portolan]

Balthier reclines more deeply to actually enjoy this port, adequately convinced that David is fine. "How much do you hate the phrase 'I told you so'?"

But he's grinning, and silently thanking the universe for giving David encouragement. "I'm glad. For both of you."

[helpdesk_hero]

"Honestly? I'm usually the one using it, so I haven't developed a hatred of it yet," he said with a grin. Oh yeah, he's confident.

"I'm glad too. Hopefully he apologizes to Josh too, and we're all safe."

[portolan]

"It's good to get a taste of your own medicine from time to time." It's cute when he's confident, and nice to see some pride. "And that would certainly make things easier."

But today has reminded him that as quiet as he's been able to keep things in his own life, this world is hardly peaceful. There's always the potential for things to become serious at the drop of a hat. And some part of him doesn't like being on the sidelines. Fuck.

[helpdesk_hero]

"There haven't been a lot of people capable of giving me that taste," David admitted with a shrug.

"Do you mind if I stay here today? I know you already offered, but I wanna be sure."