No. It's not that. It was never that. ( it's not as nervous and unsure as jason's voice had been. because he means it. it's not rambly, because he doesn't need to fill in the quiet spaces. )
I came back 'cause it's what I want. I want to be here. I want you to be here with me. If I wanted to disappear, I could've done a hell of a better job of it.
( in case that wasn't obvious. emotional honesty isn't his strongsuit, but--he's trying here. and opens his mouth again, offers a little more quietly, )
I took off 'cause I got scared. I. . . I hurt Grayson back home, more than once. I took out a lot of my personal problems on Tim. I was telling him, just before you showed up, that outside of our Bruce? I'm the last person anyone should trust with a Robin. I didn't want to fuck up with you.
( he's stubborn as hell and while jason wouldn't say there's a winning when it comes to this conversation - if there was, dick already damn knows he's winning. because jason doesn't know what to give here. he's given the truth, which is better than he would have given most. )
If I was treating you like I treated him, I'd be a hell of a lot. . . less open. If you were just another Robin, I may've let you into my apartment but you sure as hell wouldn't still be here. It's me. You get that, right? I fuck up an' hurt you, and it's me who's gonna be holding it against myself 'til the end of time. It's me who's gonna be comparing it to how hard I hit Drake when I came back around, who's gonna be thinking about how hard I come down on every other asshole who fucks with kids, and yet here I am pulling the same goddamn shit. How I'm feeding into the same cycle I've given B shit for. Not that I ain't regardless, 'cause you're almost the same age I was when I keeled over, yet we're still running 'round at night putting you at risk every damn time we go.
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no subject
I came back 'cause it's what I want. I want to be here. I want you to be here with me. If I wanted to disappear, I could've done a hell of a better job of it.
( in case that wasn't obvious. emotional honesty isn't his strongsuit, but--he's trying here. and opens his mouth again, offers a little more quietly, )
I took off 'cause I got scared. I. . . I hurt Grayson back home, more than once. I took out a lot of my personal problems on Tim. I was telling him, just before you showed up, that outside of our Bruce? I'm the last person anyone should trust with a Robin. I didn't want to fuck up with you.
no subject
I'm more than Robin, I'm not the Dick Grayson you have a history with. And I'm not fragile.
no subject
( he's stubborn as hell and while jason wouldn't say there's a winning when it comes to this conversation - if there was, dick already damn knows he's winning. because jason doesn't know what to give here. he's given the truth, which is better than he would have given most. )
If I was treating you like I treated him, I'd be a hell of a lot. . . less open. If you were just another Robin, I may've let you into my apartment but you sure as hell wouldn't still be here. It's me. You get that, right? I fuck up an' hurt you, and it's me who's gonna be holding it against myself 'til the end of time. It's me who's gonna be comparing it to how hard I hit Drake when I came back around, who's gonna be thinking about how hard I come down on every other asshole who fucks with kids, and yet here I am pulling the same goddamn shit. How I'm feeding into the same cycle I've given B shit for. Not that I ain't regardless, 'cause you're almost the same age I was when I keeled over, yet we're still running 'round at night putting you at risk every damn time we go.