[Closed] Happy Deathday

[robintohood]

Who: Jason Todd robintohood and whoever has CR with him
What: Jason dealing with his deathday anniversary
When: December 20th to 21st
Where: Central City
Content Warnings: PG-13 level violence and mentions of self-harm and suicide ideation

[The closer it gets to December 21st, the less present Jason Todd the civilian is. It's harder to catch him at the Descendant during this month because he hasn't been there as often as he usually is. He's not spotted as often at other places either his favorite libraries or any bookstores. Meanwhile, there's an increase in Red Hood appearances.

At first, the crime lord is seemingly burying himself with his work and trying to regain what his gang lost last month. Plenty of fights with other gangs, muscling in on territory, dodging bullets from mobsters. The beatings he dishes out on goons seem to have intensified. But as December 21st creeps closer, even most of that work gradually gets less attention from him.

The beatings continue though with a change in what information Jason wants out of his victims.

In place of most of his crime lord work are solo recon missions. Lots of decrepit properties are checked. Unused fairgrounds, warehouses, and even empty properties that used to be toy stores get searched. Jason's always on the lookout for reports of gruesome crimes involving things like deadly laughing gas, frozen smiles, and clowns too. Jason knows the Joker loves gimmicks.

For all of Jason's vigilance though, there's not even a chuckle or any other hint of the mass murderer. The quietness feeds into how unsettled Jason feels. He’s expecting something to happen. That's how the Joker works sometimes. He’s a sick freak who likes to put his own twist on special occasions.

So Jason keeps searching around Central City. That's what he tells himself what he's doing. He has so much rage, fear, and other negative feelings he doesn't want to contemplate. Once he finally kills the Joker he’ll finally feel at peace.

It’s either December 20th or it's December 21st when one might spot the Red Hood in Central City.

He could be zooming all over the streets on his motorcycle. He could be curbstomping and bludgeoning someone with a tire iron outside of a dive. He might be lurking on a dark rooftop overlooking the city, or staking out a waterfront warehouse.

Whatever the case is, he’s clearly in an extremely foul mood]

((OOC: My contact information is on this journal's profile and I'm in the game's Discord server. Feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns as well. I also have a feedback post.))

Comments

[avatarfortruth]

"You're wrong." Despite the tension of the situation, despite his anger, her voice is full of sorrow. "It meant everything."

She still remembers; Clark does, too. How Bruce slid away from all of them and back into the cave of his mind. How his paranoia grew. His aggression. How he kept seeing Jason everywhere, in everything. "He won't cross that line. But it doesn't mean nothing changed, Jason. What happened to you... broke him."

In a way Bane never could. "But this isn't helping to fix what happened to you. None of these people are the Joker."

[robintohood]

"No but I rather do this than just sitting around and waiting for his next strike," Jason growls.

He's heard before about how dark things were for Bruce in the period between his death and his return to Gotham. But as far as Jason was concerned, it wasn't enough. Bruce still didn't make any changes for the better. His adoptive father would rather let the suffering continue.

[avatarfortruth]

"Who's next strike?"

She's genuinely uncertain, frowning at him from the other end of the lasso, strung tight. "He isn't here. None of us have seen anything from him since I arrived."

[robintohood]

“Joker. Who else?” Jason snaps. “Last known appearance was last December. Made a post to taunt me and wish me a happy anniversary.”

He still hates what had happened and the powerlessness he felt from that incident.

“Before that he had kidnapped the older Robin during the summer and made us play one of his sick games again,“ he continues in a bitter tone. “Robin was rescued but he got away.”

[avatarfortruth]

"And what evidence do you have that he's still here? That any of this is connected to him?"

She tugs on the lasso, twitching it a little tighter around him. "And do you truly think you can't interrupt his plans – if it is him – without killing?"

[robintohood]

Jason only makes the smallest flinch as he feels the lasso tighten around him.

“I don’t have evidence he’s still here and no. I know I’ll have to kill,” he replies coldly. “You haven’t dealt with him the same way I had or the way my family has. He’s known for being quiet for months on end until he decides to make a big show because it makes him laugh.”

[avatarfortruth]

"I know far more than you think."

And she's had her own run-ins with Joker. Some days, she can still feel the throbbing beat of Pan's drums in her blood, whispering to be set free. "And I know that none of that explains why you kill indiscriminately."

[robintohood]

“Because sometimes I don’t care,” Jason says. The lasso’s magic continues to break down Jason’s refusal to tell years-old truths he’s hid. “Sometimes, I’m angry. Sometimes I think it’s a better means to an end than what you or others do. Sometimes, I want to feel something other than existential dread and how meaningless my life was.”

At the last admission, Jason’s his face warms up as shame rises. This was something he never ever wanted to talk about.

[avatarfortruth]

Jason.

[ She doesn't loosen the lasso, but she does come toward him, her eyes full of sympathy. Understanding.

He may not believe it possible, but even she has struggled with feeling like... not enough... in times past.

She isn't far away. It doesn't take her long to come close enough to put her arms around him, pull him into her embrace. ]

Your life has never been meaningless.

[robintohood]

Jason is startled by the gesture but he doesn’t pull away. With the exception of Sleeper, when was the last time he was embraced like this? Close contact more often than not means violence for Jason. Love and care was an all too rare commodity for most of his life. It’s a strange position to be in and he doesn’t know what to do next.

With the lasso still on him, he quietly speaks again.

“Sometimes it feels like the opposite. I’m so tired of everything.”

[avatarfortruth]

"I know."

She doesn't let go of him, even if he doesn't embrace her back. Frustrated as she might be with him and his antics, she cares, and deeply, about this angry young man. "But this will not give you the rest you need, Jason. There is no peace to be found on this path."

[robintohood]

"Sometimes I don't want peace," Jason quietly admits. "I'd rather have vengeance. Rage is what helped me survive."

It's a statement said with more resignation than pride. It's something he's accepted for years now.

[avatarfortruth]

"I know the siren call of fury," Diana tells him, her voice just as low. Her hand stays warm on his arm.

"But you can build nothing which lasts on a foundation so changeable as anger, dear one. It would be like attempting to create a house of stone on the surface of the sea. Vengeance is an empty promise."

[robintohood]

"It's one that's felt like it delivered and feels like it can deliver again," Jason says, tone still one of quiet resignation than the loud snarling rage he was in before.

He's not proud that he willing chose to be a violent person. The ends justifying the means is just how he's gotten through whatever moral objections he could've had. Violence is a temporary relief from uglier feelings that swim in him.