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[Semi-Open] Sometimes life sucks and you keep living
Who: Leo ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
faceguy and various
What: Leo died and then he un-died and now he has to deal with that.
When: The back half of February/first few weeks of March
Where: Central City
Content Warnings: mentions of death and violence
A: Immediate Aftermath (for Donnie)
Leo doesn't remember much of the Underworld or what happened after. It's all hazy flashes of scenery and his friends' and families' voices, muddled feelings and confused understanding. What he does remember clearly (or as clearly as can be expected) is the water under his feet turning crimson, the shock and fear of the moment, and then waking up on an operating table in the Alliance, with Huvrye and Donnie over him and Accelerator hovering nearby.
He'd given them all a weak smile and a little wave and then passed out again. Well, the wound on his neck is gone, but his body is still recovering from blood loss.
The trip home is a blur, but only because he was asleep this time. He was put in his bed, Donnie beside him. At some point in the night, he's curled as close as he can get to his brother, like even unconsciously he doesn't want to be alone.
Who knows how many hours it's been, now? The sun has gone up and come back down, and the room is dim and cool, and Leo sleeps on.
B: The first few days after (open to close CR):
Okay, so he died. And then he came back. And now he's alive again.
What's he supposed to do with that?
Leo knows he should probably feel some kind of way about it, but he doesn't. He's hollowed out when he thinks about it, like there should be emotions there but there just aren't. Just a shrug. Yeah, that happened.
His actual death... well, it sucked, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the beating he took from the Krang. Someone snuck up on him (great ninja skills there, champ, letting someone sneak up on you-) and then it was over. It had barely even been a pinch. Like the kind of cut he would get in training, except he's pretty sure it only felt that way because he immediately went into shock. But the end result was it didn't really hurt. Quick and painless!
And then he had kind of a bad few days he can't really remember, and then he was alive again. Just like that! So it's not even really like he died, because dying is permanent. It's more like he got really injured and just had to be fixed. Maybe that's why he doesn't feel anything? Because it wasn't really that big a deal, when you lay it all out like that.
Leo spends an unknown number of hours sleeping the whole thing off, but for the first few days after that, he acts eerily normal. Sure, he hasn't gone back to school (he's given up ever actually completing any classes, at this rate) or taken any Alliance missions (they have gracefully given him time off), and his jokes are less frequent than normal, but he walks around the apartment and eats meals and watches TV and acts like everything is totally fine.
Because it is! He just had a bad injury and a few weird days and now he's back. There isn't even a scar on his neck from the cut. Like it all never happened. No reason to worry about him. He's more concerned about the people who had to live through it. A trip to the Underworld doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.
So that's how Leo spends his first few days of hisnew continued life: just being a normal guy in a normal apartment because everything is normal.
C: And a few days after that (open to close CR):
And then one afternoon, everything stops being normal.
Leo doesn't know what caused it. He got up. Ate breakfast. Watched some bad movie on the sci-fi channel. Took a shower. Thought about what he wanted for lunch. Got out and looked at himself in the mirror, his fingers coming up to touch his neck, where there should have been a scar but isn't. Like it basically didn't happen.
And just like that, the hollow space inside him is suddenly so full he feels like he's going to burst from it.
Leo jerks away from the mirror and slams against the wall, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the shout that rips out of him. He doesn't know why he wants to scream and cry and flail his arms like a kid throwing a tantrum, but if he does that then Donnie and Huvrye will freak out and come running and he'll scare them.
And there's no reason to do that because Leo is fine! It's not even like he really di-
Leo has to grab his towel off the curtain rod to muffle his sobs into. Great, he's falling apart.
It takes him a few minutes, but he pulls himself together as much as he's able to. If he stays in here too long, they'll come check on him, and he doesn't want them to see him like this.
Ten steps down the hall to his room. He can totally do that. (Should have brought his swords in here so he could just portal.)
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, then opens the door, towel still clenched against his mouth. He quicksteps down the hall to his bedroom and throws himself inside too fast, causing the door to slam behind him. That's not helping his goal of not getting them to come check on him...
(Maybe he wants them to come check on him, even if he would never admit it.)
Nothing he can do about the sound now. Leo drops the towel on the floor, then makes his way through his messy room to his bed, crawling under the covers and pulling them over his head, like he's five and Raph told a scary story about a sewer ghost.
(He wishes Raph was here. He wishes his dad was here.)
The next few days finds Leo alternating between sharp crying jags that steal his breath and long periods of numbness where he still feels everything but can't get any energy to do anything about it. He mostly stays in his room, now. Hiding that he's breaking down ends up being a fruitless endeavor, maybe, but he doesn't feel like moving from this spot.
D: Time heals all wounds (OTA)
A couple weeks pass, and Leo feels... well, okay is a variable term. But he's ready to get back to the land of the living, and the fact that he's making that joke should mean something.
At first it's mostly during the day, and just for easy things. Catch Leo in a cafe, drinking tea and looking over his medical textbooks again. Or find him at a local street basketball court or skatepark, showing off his skills and stretching his muscles. He also spends time hanging out in the Alliance Headquarters, in the lounge chatting with the people who come in (and are willing to talk to a former Society member) or reading books on his phone (yeah, that's a thing he does now, go figure!).
If you knew Leo before, he does seem a bit more subdued than normal. But at least he's out and interacting with the world again.
E: Back at it again (OTA)
And eventually, in mid-March, Leo starts doing hero stuff again. Easy stuff, stopping purse snatchers and robberies and general misbehavior.
He's up on a roof now, standing near the edge, watching the city streets below. If someone comes up on the roof but isn't being sneaky about it, Leo turns his attention toward them, taking a look at who's there to determine if he should be telling them to get their own roof. "Late night?" he asks regardless.
But if someone were to sneak up on him, Leo's reaction is quite a bit different. Just before they get close, Leo suddenly moves his sword, lightning quick, and opens up a portal underneath his feet, appearing again across the rooftop, breathing hard through his nose and sword raised.
If you're not a threat, better say something fast.
[[OOC: Feel free to wildcard for any of these prompts! I just wanted to give a general outline of where Leo is at, physically and mentally, over this timeframe. Also feel free to use brackets if you want, I just went with prose because these TLs are all introspection with almost no dialogue lol.]]
faceguy and various What: Leo died and then he un-died and now he has to deal with that.
When: The back half of February/first few weeks of March
Where: Central City
Content Warnings: mentions of death and violence
A: Immediate Aftermath (for Donnie)
Leo doesn't remember much of the Underworld or what happened after. It's all hazy flashes of scenery and his friends' and families' voices, muddled feelings and confused understanding. What he does remember clearly (or as clearly as can be expected) is the water under his feet turning crimson, the shock and fear of the moment, and then waking up on an operating table in the Alliance, with Huvrye and Donnie over him and Accelerator hovering nearby.
He'd given them all a weak smile and a little wave and then passed out again. Well, the wound on his neck is gone, but his body is still recovering from blood loss.
The trip home is a blur, but only because he was asleep this time. He was put in his bed, Donnie beside him. At some point in the night, he's curled as close as he can get to his brother, like even unconsciously he doesn't want to be alone.
Who knows how many hours it's been, now? The sun has gone up and come back down, and the room is dim and cool, and Leo sleeps on.
B: The first few days after (open to close CR):
Okay, so he died. And then he came back. And now he's alive again.
What's he supposed to do with that?
Leo knows he should probably feel some kind of way about it, but he doesn't. He's hollowed out when he thinks about it, like there should be emotions there but there just aren't. Just a shrug. Yeah, that happened.
His actual death... well, it sucked, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the beating he took from the Krang. Someone snuck up on him (great ninja skills there, champ, letting someone sneak up on you-) and then it was over. It had barely even been a pinch. Like the kind of cut he would get in training, except he's pretty sure it only felt that way because he immediately went into shock. But the end result was it didn't really hurt. Quick and painless!
And then he had kind of a bad few days he can't really remember, and then he was alive again. Just like that! So it's not even really like he died, because dying is permanent. It's more like he got really injured and just had to be fixed. Maybe that's why he doesn't feel anything? Because it wasn't really that big a deal, when you lay it all out like that.
Leo spends an unknown number of hours sleeping the whole thing off, but for the first few days after that, he acts eerily normal. Sure, he hasn't gone back to school (he's given up ever actually completing any classes, at this rate) or taken any Alliance missions (they have gracefully given him time off), and his jokes are less frequent than normal, but he walks around the apartment and eats meals and watches TV and acts like everything is totally fine.
Because it is! He just had a bad injury and a few weird days and now he's back. There isn't even a scar on his neck from the cut. Like it all never happened. No reason to worry about him. He's more concerned about the people who had to live through it. A trip to the Underworld doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.
So that's how Leo spends his first few days of his
C: And a few days after that (open to close CR):
And then one afternoon, everything stops being normal.
Leo doesn't know what caused it. He got up. Ate breakfast. Watched some bad movie on the sci-fi channel. Took a shower. Thought about what he wanted for lunch. Got out and looked at himself in the mirror, his fingers coming up to touch his neck, where there should have been a scar but isn't. Like it basically didn't happen.
And just like that, the hollow space inside him is suddenly so full he feels like he's going to burst from it.
Leo jerks away from the mirror and slams against the wall, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the shout that rips out of him. He doesn't know why he wants to scream and cry and flail his arms like a kid throwing a tantrum, but if he does that then Donnie and Huvrye will freak out and come running and he'll scare them.
And there's no reason to do that because Leo is fine! It's not even like he really di-
Leo has to grab his towel off the curtain rod to muffle his sobs into. Great, he's falling apart.
It takes him a few minutes, but he pulls himself together as much as he's able to. If he stays in here too long, they'll come check on him, and he doesn't want them to see him like this.
Ten steps down the hall to his room. He can totally do that. (Should have brought his swords in here so he could just portal.)
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, then opens the door, towel still clenched against his mouth. He quicksteps down the hall to his bedroom and throws himself inside too fast, causing the door to slam behind him. That's not helping his goal of not getting them to come check on him...
(Maybe he wants them to come check on him, even if he would never admit it.)
Nothing he can do about the sound now. Leo drops the towel on the floor, then makes his way through his messy room to his bed, crawling under the covers and pulling them over his head, like he's five and Raph told a scary story about a sewer ghost.
(He wishes Raph was here. He wishes his dad was here.)
The next few days finds Leo alternating between sharp crying jags that steal his breath and long periods of numbness where he still feels everything but can't get any energy to do anything about it. He mostly stays in his room, now. Hiding that he's breaking down ends up being a fruitless endeavor, maybe, but he doesn't feel like moving from this spot.
D: Time heals all wounds (OTA)
A couple weeks pass, and Leo feels... well, okay is a variable term. But he's ready to get back to the land of the living, and the fact that he's making that joke should mean something.
At first it's mostly during the day, and just for easy things. Catch Leo in a cafe, drinking tea and looking over his medical textbooks again. Or find him at a local street basketball court or skatepark, showing off his skills and stretching his muscles. He also spends time hanging out in the Alliance Headquarters, in the lounge chatting with the people who come in (and are willing to talk to a former Society member) or reading books on his phone (yeah, that's a thing he does now, go figure!).
If you knew Leo before, he does seem a bit more subdued than normal. But at least he's out and interacting with the world again.
E: Back at it again (OTA)
And eventually, in mid-March, Leo starts doing hero stuff again. Easy stuff, stopping purse snatchers and robberies and general misbehavior.
He's up on a roof now, standing near the edge, watching the city streets below. If someone comes up on the roof but isn't being sneaky about it, Leo turns his attention toward them, taking a look at who's there to determine if he should be telling them to get their own roof. "Late night?" he asks regardless.
But if someone were to sneak up on him, Leo's reaction is quite a bit different. Just before they get close, Leo suddenly moves his sword, lightning quick, and opens up a portal underneath his feet, appearing again across the rooftop, breathing hard through his nose and sword raised.
If you're not a threat, better say something fast.
[[OOC: Feel free to wildcard for any of these prompts! I just wanted to give a general outline of where Leo is at, physically and mentally, over this timeframe. Also feel free to use brackets if you want, I just went with prose because these TLs are all introspection with almost no dialogue lol.]]
A
He'd passed out as soon as he'd felt a bed under him and a pillow beneath his head. At some point he'd reached out, relieved to feel his brother nearby, and it's been one of those rare times when he's allowed his personal space to be invaded. Subconsciously that paranoia that someone might just try and take Leo away again hasn't vanished, after all.
At least at first Donnie had been so exhausted that his sleep was dreamless, or he just can't remember anything that's passed through his mind while he was out. Some things eventually start to stick, images of grasping hands and hungering faces as they reached out. An imposing figure on a throne saying words Donnie can't make out, but then he sees his brother's face fading away before his eyes, and the panic sets in. He cries out-
His eyes snap open and he's not sure if he'd actually shouted or not, and for a split second he's not even sure where he is.
no subject
He’s already pressed close, under Donnie’s arm, but now he wriggles his own free and wraps it around, hand splayed out on Donnie’s shell.
“S’okay,” he croaks. “S’okay Dee.”
no subject
He's here.
Donnie swallows a sob, pulling himself closer to wrap his arm tighter around his brother. Leo's here although he's sure not all of that had been simply a bad dream. He won't try to think too hard about it for now, letting out an exhausted, shaky sigh.
no subject
Oh.
Leo left him.
He hadn't meant to, of course, but he'd left Donnie alone. Of course Donnie would cry about that. Of course he would be scared.
(Is this what it was like, when he got trapped in the Prison Dimension?)
Leo holds him tighter. It's okay now. They're back together.
"I'm sorry," he says.
no subject
"Please don't do it again," he sniffles. He's not blaming Leo. He's not sure who he should blame, and that's been part of the problem. The details are catching up again, the cold horror of realization when Leo had been lost, and how quickly he'd fallen apart thereafter. He can't remember much of anything after that, not until Huvrye had finally spoken words that actually got through the fog of numbness, telling him that Leo could be saved.
no subject
It's never quite hit Leo like this before.
It's so easy to think that you're resigned to your fate when you don't have to see what that fate will do to other people. And now he gets to see it.
If he says all this to Donnie right now, though, Leo is pretty sure it'll kill him. And Leo's always been good at lying, anyway.
"I won't," he promises. "I'm not leaving you alone again."
no subject
Of course there's the whole matter of their own timeline, of the things that would happen, that have happened. That's not something Donnie can ever forget, and this recent experience has only torn open an old wound. It isn't fair in a way. He hasn't gone through it yet. It hasn't happened and yet he knows...and he hasn't been able to do anything about it. It had hurt enough to think about back when Leo had first told him. But now, experiencing the absence firsthand had been beyond any pain Donnie could have ever imagined.
While he doesn't say anything in response, he does give a soft sigh. It's an impossible promise, but Leo makes it anyway, and Donnie chooses to believe it because that's all he can do, or else he'll fall apart. The loss had fractured him and he's not sure how to fix that. You don't just forget those things, they make lasting marks.
He finally lets his arm loosen up a little, if only because it hurts staying so tensed. But he doesn't move any further, separation anxiety at its worst.
no subject
Donnie loosens his grip, but doesn't pull away, so Leo doesn't, either. Leo doesn't have anything against physical closeness, after all, and if Donnie isn't moving away then he needs this proximity. It's the least Leo can do for him now.
His voice is still a harsh croak, but when has something like that ever stopped Leonardo Hamato from talking? After a moment of silence, he gives Donnie a very light headbutt. More of a nudge than anything.
"Thanks for saving me."
Even if he doesn't remember all the details, he knows that happened.
no subject
"Any time," he says, and that much is true. He'd do the same for any of his brothers, as many times as needs be, and he knows they'd all probably do the same for each other. ...although he'd rather hope that it doesn't become something that becomes a common occurrence because that would be really exhausting.
no subject
He just wants to stop being the one they have to go after.
It’s Leo’s turn to not have much to say - he leans his head back down to rest it under Donnie’s chin and goes quiet. He’s still really tired, but he doesn’t want to leave Donnie awake in the dark.
no subject
While he can't guarantee that he'll fall asleep himself, at least not right away, just knowing Leo's still there helps. He's here and safe, and that's all that matters right now.