OPEN + CLOSED | Causing Problems in May

[frenchkissed]

Who: Eddie and Venom frenchkkissed + You !
What: Meeting, greeting, eating... the usual.
When: All throughout May
Where: Central City + Little Love
Content Warnings: Monster body horror

👅 I. I have a heart ( I swear, I do )

There's no discernible rhyme or reason for it. No clear-cut explanation. It's just that anyone who looks even remotely uncanny, or maybe not even that much, might get a man jogging up to them, black, inky tentacles whipping wildly from his back, with a half-finished smoothie in his hand and the other half coating the front of his hoodie.

"Hey! Hey, you got a minute?"

You know, maybe you're better off not engaging with this one.

👅 II. But just not, baby, when it comes to you

Screams of terror are heard in the dead of night as some guy is being dangled upside-down above the eager, wide-stretched mouth of a tar monster. Venom's tongue drags along the face of the poor man scrambling to break free, leaving him wet and dripping with drool — which only has him screaming more frantically.

So... heroing is going about as expected.

"JAYWALKING?! THE CROSSWALK IS RIGHT THERE.
THIS IS THE LAZIEST OF CRIMES.
YOU... ARE LAZY. A LAZY, LAZY BAD MAN."

"I'm lazy! I'm sorry, I'm lazy! So, so, so, so lazy! Let me go and I'll never jaywalk again!"

"HMNNN....
BUT YOU ARE A BAD GUY.
BAD GUYS CAN BE EATEN!"

Venom's jaw opens wider, and beneath the sounds of mounting horror, Eddie can be heard from within.

"We said we'd let you out more if — IF — you wouldn't go sicko mode on randoms, man. This right here? Totally fucking sicko mode."

"BUT EDDIE, HE IS EVIL."

Before the ensuing debate on morality and good and evil in the eyes of the law can begin, it seems as if the jaywalker is slipping from Venom's grasp, steadily falling out of the shoe Venom is holding him up by. Any attempts at making this known via, you know, screaming is lost in the conversation. Words like deontology and unitarianism and evil are being thrown around between Eddie and Venom, and it seems like the victim/bad guy is being sidelined.

A better hero might need to intervene, here.

Comments

[frenchkissed]

"Yeah... They are, aren't they."

What a weird tantrum. It's not like Venom to be quite this unhinged.

"Fewer bystanders, like the park?"

[kid_flash_found]

"Frak, no, there might be kids there," he responds, appalled. Then thinks about it. "I was about to grab a snack, but I think I know just the place. One sec."

He half-turns to one side, and between one blink and the next there's a second Kid Flash, this one made out of translucent energy. The real Kid Flash leans in, whispering a few instructions and the scout runs off, vanishing as it passes through the nearest building in a silent blur.

[frenchkissed]

"Well, duh. We'd choose the least-populated-with-kids-per-square-inch section of the park. Maybe by the yoga equipment for old people. The only time kids play over there is when they the jungle gym is full— Oh."

Eddie's not sure when this guy's clone appeared. He blinked, as he often does, and now there were two of them. He's got to stop being surprised by these things; he's in an entire world of superheroes now.

"...That your power? Duplicates?"

Meanwhile, Venom whacks a fire hydrant and threatens to send it soaring across the street.

[kid_flash_found]

"It's more of a fringe benefit. But if I recall right, the lot where one of my favorite food trucks hangs is usually dead quiet at this time of day, and I could use a burger or five. So if you think you can cool it on the destruction of public property, I can show you the most amazing things to be put between two buns in a while. Like, they do a mac'n'cheeseburger WITH a fried egg," Bart says, trying to keep the energy flowing through him to a dull roar as he dances slightly in place with anticipation. "I'll even treat."

A pause, then he realizes he hadn't elaborated on the powers thing. "The scouts are energy constructs I can make with the Speed Force. I figured it'd be better to check than run the distance only to find another crowd."

[frenchkissed]

One second. He's going to need to talk this one over with his alien partner, who appears as a gooey blob over Eddie's shoulder without effort on Eddie's part to manifest him physically.

"You hear that, man? This kid's offering us free food if... if you hold it together."

Which seems easier said than done at the moment, because even the prospect of food sends Venom's tentacles whipping more frantically than before.

"WE PROMISE NOTHING."

"Close enough. We're in, Flash."

[kid_flash_found]

Bart can't help a slight cringe at the slightly mistaken moniker. "Kid Flash, Please. Flash is my grandpa. You'll make me feel positively ancient."

He grins as the golden doppelganger returns with a report that the food truck is present and the coast is otherwise clear, and then reabsorbs the energy.

"So, the surface roads or the high road? It'd probably be faster if we went up and over the intervening buildings."

[frenchkissed]

"So we can't run at the speed of light like you seem to be able to, so... maybe we'll just meet you there?" He pauses, then adds: "Doesn't that get annoying? Sitting in traffic must feel like it takes forever when you have the power to embody Sonic the Hedgehog whenever you feel like it."

Does Kid Flash know Sonic? All these different timelines, Eddie can't keep track of who knows what.

"Kid Flash. Got it."

[kid_flash_found]

"You don't actually know where we're going, so I'll take it slow. Well, slow enough you can follow. Unless you want me to pull you in my slipstream," He says, considering.

"I understand most people find being carried by a speedster disorienting. And Sonic wishes he were a fraction as fast as me. I could practically play that game blindfolded."

[frenchkissed]

"...Slipstream?" Oh, god, he's going to have to remember physics again, isn't he? "Yeah, uh, we do get queasy pretty easily. At least I do."

"AND YOU ARE A PUSSY FOR IT!"

Wow, the tentacles speak! And they're still whipping with rage.

"Follow the leader it is."

[kid_flash_found]

"Uh, I don't think it's nice to call your partner names like that. Nothing wrong with getting motion sick," Bart says, then glances around. "Ok, um, let's take the rooftops. Less innocent people."

And with that he starts to blur towards the nearest fire escape.