OPEN + CLOSED | Causing Problems in May

[frenchkissed]

Who: Eddie and Venom frenchkkissed + You !
What: Meeting, greeting, eating... the usual.
When: All throughout May
Where: Central City + Little Love
Content Warnings: Monster body horror

👅 I. I have a heart ( I swear, I do )

There's no discernible rhyme or reason for it. No clear-cut explanation. It's just that anyone who looks even remotely uncanny, or maybe not even that much, might get a man jogging up to them, black, inky tentacles whipping wildly from his back, with a half-finished smoothie in his hand and the other half coating the front of his hoodie.

"Hey! Hey, you got a minute?"

You know, maybe you're better off not engaging with this one.

👅 II. But just not, baby, when it comes to you

Screams of terror are heard in the dead of night as some guy is being dangled upside-down above the eager, wide-stretched mouth of a tar monster. Venom's tongue drags along the face of the poor man scrambling to break free, leaving him wet and dripping with drool — which only has him screaming more frantically.

So... heroing is going about as expected.

"JAYWALKING?! THE CROSSWALK IS RIGHT THERE.
THIS IS THE LAZIEST OF CRIMES.
YOU... ARE LAZY. A LAZY, LAZY BAD MAN."

"I'm lazy! I'm sorry, I'm lazy! So, so, so, so lazy! Let me go and I'll never jaywalk again!"

"HMNNN....
BUT YOU ARE A BAD GUY.
BAD GUYS CAN BE EATEN!"

Venom's jaw opens wider, and beneath the sounds of mounting horror, Eddie can be heard from within.

"We said we'd let you out more if — IF — you wouldn't go sicko mode on randoms, man. This right here? Totally fucking sicko mode."

"BUT EDDIE, HE IS EVIL."

Before the ensuing debate on morality and good and evil in the eyes of the law can begin, it seems as if the jaywalker is slipping from Venom's grasp, steadily falling out of the shoe Venom is holding him up by. Any attempts at making this known via, you know, screaming is lost in the conversation. Words like deontology and unitarianism and evil are being thrown around between Eddie and Venom, and it seems like the victim/bad guy is being sidelined.

A better hero might need to intervene, here.

Comments

[frenchkissed]

"WE NEED BRAINS TO SURVIVE. IT MUST BE A WHO... OR WE WILL DIE. A LACK OF phenylalanine is a slow, painful way to go. I WOULD NOT WISH THAT FOR ANYONE. NOT EVEN YOU, TAILED CHILD." He doesn't know how long it takes, but he'd probably wither away if it weren't for this world's copious supply of chocolate, which works as a substitute. Maybe he should mention that. "THEY DO NOT SERVE BRAINS AT THE BUTCHERS. LIVING, THRIVING BRAINS."

Outside of survival, he enjoys other things, too!

"BUT, perhaps... we can enjoy a milkshake."

[eatsnutsandkicksbutts]

"Oooookay, the 'living brains' part definitely complicates things, but I appreciate that you wouldn't wish a slow, painful death on me! That's nice of you." She means it, she'll take what she can get! "I don't want that for you either, that would be awful. We can figure this out."

That's the optimism talking, she's coming up a little short on ideas, especially since dead brains are ruled out. Aren't brains considered a delicacy in some countries? Hmm. Until Doreen gets a chance to sit down and research Phenylalanine, she's kinda flying by the seat of her pants here.

"... But while we're figuring this out, any milkshake flavour preferences? Because I can't get you any brains, but I can buy you a milkshake. Maybe we can find... vitamin supplements or something to even out the difference for ya."