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ANTARCTIC CIRCLE - JUNE EVENT
ANTARCTIC CIRCLE
Monsters are nothing new to this world. While they were thought to be nothing more than legend in the pre-confluence days, the first modern kaijuu attack was recorded in 1954.
Everything people knew to be true was challanged time and time again, but it has been decades since a threat showed itself. The Guild System has kept things manageable, peaceful even. It has afforded metahumans a sense of peace and a place of belonging in a world that once viewed them as disruptive and dangerous.
And so when the reports begin trickling in about a threat manifesting at the South Pole, the senior most members of both guilds head out under cover of night. They're certain they can deal with this quickly and quietly, without placing the burden on the new metas who never asked to be brought to this world.
But when they return at dawn, battered, broken and near dead - the decision is pulled from their hands. The usual theatrics of the guilds are pulled aside as the government officials muscle their way in, taking control of the Alliance command center. Within less than an hour the message is splashed across every screen, interrupting whatever people may have been doing prior.
EMERGENCY GODFALL PROTOCOLS ARE ACTIVE.
ALL ABLE BODIED METAHUMANS ARE EXPECTED TO REPORT INAT ALLIANCE HQ REGARDLESS OF ALLEGIANCE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS A COSMIC LEVEL THREAT.
WITHOUT INTERVENTION IT WILL BEGIN AT T-MINUS 72 HOURS.
Everything people knew to be true was challanged time and time again, but it has been decades since a threat showed itself. The Guild System has kept things manageable, peaceful even. It has afforded metahumans a sense of peace and a place of belonging in a world that once viewed them as disruptive and dangerous.
And so when the reports begin trickling in about a threat manifesting at the South Pole, the senior most members of both guilds head out under cover of night. They're certain they can deal with this quickly and quietly, without placing the burden on the new metas who never asked to be brought to this world.
But when they return at dawn, battered, broken and near dead - the decision is pulled from their hands. The usual theatrics of the guilds are pulled aside as the government officials muscle their way in, taking control of the Alliance command center. Within less than an hour the message is splashed across every screen, interrupting whatever people may have been doing prior.
ALL ABLE BODIED METAHUMANS ARE EXPECTED TO REPORT INAT ALLIANCE HQ REGARDLESS OF ALLEGIANCE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS A COSMIC LEVEL THREAT.
WITHOUT INTERVENTION IT WILL BEGIN AT T-MINUS 72 HOURS.
STRATEGY MEETING—
You’ll find no one is forcing you to attend this strategy meeting… but most of the metahumans gathered here don’t appear to have any real power to speak of. Many of them are scared civilians. One can levitate rocks, another sneezes fire. All the major guild members are in critical condition, but most are expected to pull through.
They won’t say who isn’t.
The only person left in any kind of condition to help is Chaos Gate, who holds out her arm to display the reason why: one of the Sunset Falls blossoms has bonded to her. And though she’s singed and had been exposed to risky levels of cosmic radiation, the flower itself is fine. The intel the guild leaders brought back is enough to form a plan.
The entity is from another dimension, as is the flower. And so it stands to reason that people from other dimensions would be likewise immune. Even if they aren’t, upgrading existing anti-kaijuu weaponry is their best shot at stopping the threat in its tracks.
Any metahuman who is technologically inclined is called in to lend their skills to adapting the existing anti-kaijuu technology. This is your chance to shine if you’re not much of a fighter. You have twenty-four hours to get these machines ready for combat.
They give you the rundown of the technology that powers the robots. Multiple minds working in sync, meta-energies syncing up to replicate your existing power set on a massive scale. However, as they're powered by metahuman energy, doing this for an extended period of time will be incredibly draining, so it’s recommended for each robot to have a dedicated team of pilots to trade duties. At minimum, two people are required to operate each robot.
Additionally, memory-sharing is a known side-effect of this technology. It’s strongly recommended that no two pilots during active combat be from the same world - better still if you’re complete strangers - as its possible to completely lose yourself in these memories.
You can use this time to find partners or teams - and maybe stake a claim on the coolest-looking robot, if you feel like it.
They won’t say who isn’t.
The only person left in any kind of condition to help is Chaos Gate, who holds out her arm to display the reason why: one of the Sunset Falls blossoms has bonded to her. And though she’s singed and had been exposed to risky levels of cosmic radiation, the flower itself is fine. The intel the guild leaders brought back is enough to form a plan.
The entity is from another dimension, as is the flower. And so it stands to reason that people from other dimensions would be likewise immune. Even if they aren’t, upgrading existing anti-kaijuu weaponry is their best shot at stopping the threat in its tracks.
Any metahuman who is technologically inclined is called in to lend their skills to adapting the existing anti-kaijuu technology. This is your chance to shine if you’re not much of a fighter. You have twenty-four hours to get these machines ready for combat.
They give you the rundown of the technology that powers the robots. Multiple minds working in sync, meta-energies syncing up to replicate your existing power set on a massive scale. However, as they're powered by metahuman energy, doing this for an extended period of time will be incredibly draining, so it’s recommended for each robot to have a dedicated team of pilots to trade duties. At minimum, two people are required to operate each robot.
Additionally, memory-sharing is a known side-effect of this technology. It’s strongly recommended that no two pilots during active combat be from the same world - better still if you’re complete strangers - as its possible to completely lose yourself in these memories.
You can use this time to find partners or teams - and maybe stake a claim on the coolest-looking robot, if you feel like it.
MOVE OUT —
At dawn the following day, you’re sent off. Though the atmosphere is one of hope, Chaos Gate drops her usually flippant smile to lay down the facts: you may not come back alive.
But if you don’t go? Then everyone dies. The seers couldn’t say for sure whether you’ll succeed, but those that glimpsed futures where you never left at all made it clear what that led to.
Sync up with your fellow pilots and deploy yourselves, or jump into the med bot following behind. Feel the brush of another mind against yours and the power that comes from controlling an enormous steel giant. Take this time to experiment with the powers and abilities in the real robot, not the simulation you only had a few hours to train in.
But if you don’t go? Then everyone dies. The seers couldn’t say for sure whether you’ll succeed, but those that glimpsed futures where you never left at all made it clear what that led to.
Sync up with your fellow pilots and deploy yourselves, or jump into the med bot following behind. Feel the brush of another mind against yours and the power that comes from controlling an enormous steel giant. Take this time to experiment with the powers and abilities in the real robot, not the simulation you only had a few hours to train in.
ENGAGE —
There are five kaijuu in total. Their bodies roughly shaped like a tortoise, a dragon, a phoenix, and a tiger - with the final one an unknowable mass of flesh and tentacle, protected behind a barrier. Each of them measure roughly eight hundred feet, and are leaving massive damage in their wake. Scattered across the corners of the globe, they’re moving towards the South Pole where the largest beast lays in wait. The closer they are to this destination when you engage them, the more reality seems to be break and bend around them. Space and time are fragile here; there may be some odd effects, things like gravity and time rolling backwards. These creatures bleed cosmic radiation, so it’s recommended that you try to kill them as quickly and bloodlessly as possible. This may be difficult as while they’re in possession of breath attacks, they’re more keen to engage in hand-to-had combat.
Each of them is also spawning smaller copies of themselves, which seem to be moving towards the coastlines - towards major cities, specifically.
Those who believe themselves to be better suited to battling the monster directly can engage the kaijuu outside of their jaegers. But anyone exposed to their irradiated blood will catch a doubtless disorienting glimpse of infinity, and anyone who gets wounded is likely to fall into the ocean and be lost in the chaos. Do this at your own risk.
Those who aren’t piloting can also join medical or maintenance crews, which will be teleported out to any robot crews that require assistance.
Mercifully, once the four celestial beasts are slain - their ringleader seems to lose its power. The barrier that has been protecting it has fallen. And with no defenses of its own, it goes down easily. Reality returns to normal. And exhausted but victorious, you give the signal to be teleported back home.
You can sign up to strike a final blow here.
Each of them is also spawning smaller copies of themselves, which seem to be moving towards the coastlines - towards major cities, specifically.
Those who believe themselves to be better suited to battling the monster directly can engage the kaijuu outside of their jaegers. But anyone exposed to their irradiated blood will catch a doubtless disorienting glimpse of infinity, and anyone who gets wounded is likely to fall into the ocean and be lost in the chaos. Do this at your own risk.
Those who aren’t piloting can also join medical or maintenance crews, which will be teleported out to any robot crews that require assistance.
Mercifully, once the four celestial beasts are slain - their ringleader seems to lose its power. The barrier that has been protecting it has fallen. And with no defenses of its own, it goes down easily. Reality returns to normal. And exhausted but victorious, you give the signal to be teleported back home.
You can sign up to strike a final blow here.
AFTERMATH—
It’s a brutal fight. Maybe not all of you made it back. Once the threat is clear, recovery teams are deployed to try to reclaim and revive any bodies lost in the surf.
Back at guild HQ, you’re welcomed back as heroes. The civilians are eager to know their new saviors - identifying yourself as such is sure to thrust you into the spotlight. Much of the fight has been live-streamed and so your great bravery or cowardice is public knowledge.
Deeper inside headquarters, blue-skinned representatives from the underwater nation of ATLANTIS are shouting at suited lawyers. The kaijuu blood in the water has made their home largely uninhabitable, and the combat has destroyed much of it. Are they going to get the same rescue that the surface world did? You’re welcome to volunteer to visit the rubble that was once their Antarctic settlement and rescue the seal-like selkies from the bloodied water.
Back at guild HQ, you’re welcomed back as heroes. The civilians are eager to know their new saviors - identifying yourself as such is sure to thrust you into the spotlight. Much of the fight has been live-streamed and so your great bravery or cowardice is public knowledge.
Deeper inside headquarters, blue-skinned representatives from the underwater nation of ATLANTIS are shouting at suited lawyers. The kaijuu blood in the water has made their home largely uninhabitable, and the combat has destroyed much of it. Are they going to get the same rescue that the surface world did? You’re welcome to volunteer to visit the rubble that was once their Antarctic settlement and rescue the seal-like selkies from the bloodied water.
IN SUMMARY...
- Giant monsters have appeared. Their mere presence is warping reality. Smaller clones of them are heading towards coastal cities.
- The heroes of this world are no match for it. The government has chosen to enact the Godfall Protocols Act, meaning all metahumans are expected to report in to stop a potential apocalypse. Not everyone has to go and pilot the robot, others can stay to defend the cities from any potential dangers.
- Player characters will be hopping in giant robots designed for two or more pilots. They can read each other's minds to operate in perfect sync. An unintended side-effect is memory sharing. You can get lost in these memories. Any action taken in memory will be replicated by the giant robot.
- After the defeat of these monsters, everyone is brought back to Guild HQ for a heroes welcome. You can sign up for your character delivering a final blow here.
- If you want your character to protest the Godfall Protocols and/or to try to disrupt anything going on, please report your actions here.
- The Atlantean people are begging for help as the robots have destroyed their Arctic cities and the blood in the water has harmed their selkie civilians. Player characters can go search for these selkies. Please report selkie rescues here.
cw: brief mention of suicide + more self-harm.
[What is the whole deal with the beat up teenager?]
[But there's no time, because he's running right into the memory and Robbie is suddenly crushed by the weight of it.]
[There is only Penance now.]
[He's deploying from a fancy airship onto a city street with a group of people that look fairly supervillainish. One of them is a massive alien monstrosity with too many teeth - the alternate version of Venom, a version far more hostile than the one currently in residence in the world outside. Then there's the Swordsman, an amoral aristocrat who only cares about having his sister cloned. Moonstone, a menacing and manipulative former psychiatrist that used to talk patients into suicide for giggles. She's the team leader.]
[Hiding off in the shadows is Bullseye, an nearly-uncontrollable psychopathic murderer, who can kill someone with just a thumb tack.]
[The only two on the team that have softer perceptions around them are Songbird (another new recruit to the world outside), whose costume looks more superheroic, and Radioactive Man, who's wearing a radiation suit but looks more menacing than he actually is. He and Songbird are generally well-meaning and not here of their free will. Chen's on the team at the mercy of the his government; China wants him to be here. Songbird's fitted with a nanochain, an internal shock collar, controlling her. They both try to cause as little harm as possible to whoever they take in, nice clean takedowns even if they have to be a little rough. The others are fine with death or maiming.]
[Robbie doesn't have a nanochain, he's chosen to be here, to do this. He knows it's bad for the people they bring in, but what's more important is that it's bad for himself.]
[They are the Thunderbolts, they take their orders from Norman Osborn a "former" supervillain known for throwing an innocent young woman off a bridge, and they're on the hunt for a hero. It's entirely legal but entirely wrong. Penance knows that's what their target is, a hero, someone who tries to help people. He doesn't care. These are heroes that refused to be good little boys and girls and sign up with the government. They're the ones thumbing their nose at accountability, insulting the memory of 612 dead, including 60 dead children, because they're just like he, Penance, was.]
[They deserve to be punished just like Penance does.]
[At Moonstone's instruction Penance blows up a chunk of city street, injuring Jack Flag. It's fortunately been emptied of civilians or Penance at least wouldn't have done it. This leaves Flag vulnerable for Bullseye to stab him in the spine in a nearby building.]
[Penance watches Flag, in agony, get loaded on a stretcher on the T-wagon. He feels not even a twinge of guilt. He feels absolutely nothing, like the whole world is washed out, empty, and gray.]
[He feels nothing emotionally, at least. Physically, he's in agony, skin pricked by hundreds of points of pain. The source of his power. The source of blood from the blood vents. The only thing he deserves.]
[His penance.]
["Walking iron maiden" is more right than Jason knew. It really is something a Gotham rogue would do, this disturbing mix of punishment and masochism.]
[Present-day Robbie looks out from the suit's eyes, aware again.]
[He lets out a roar.]
GET! OUT!
[There is a blast of power - and will - knocking Jason right out of his half of their connected brains, but the gesture accidentally drags Robbie to go tumbling with him right into the other half. His mental projection changes back to present day Robbie who looks enraged, horrified, humiliated, and betrayed.]
CW: More descriptions of a battered teenager
Then Robbie blasts Jason out of the memory. Jason glares at him. So Speedball really is a villain and he might be trapped with him. No. He can't get trapped again.
Meanwhile, the overlay comes back and now Robbie has a much better look of the teenager. The boy's face is bruised all over. There are specks of blood around his lips like had been coughing out blood. His domino mask is tattered like the rest of his costume and unlike Jason's mask, the white lenses of the boy's mask are missing. The boy's eyes are green but the left eye is also bloodshot, bruised and nearly swollen shut. He's also handcuffed]
Who are you?
[Jason's growl is overlaid by the higher voice of a younger man.]
no subject
[He wonders why he sees him as a hurt teenager in turn - and who hurt him - but there's no time for that.]
[Because now he has to do damage control. Because what sane and reasonable person would see what Jason just did and not be alarmed?]
[Robbie's ire and hurt and betrayal fades. He can't even be entirely angry with him. If their roles were reversed and he saw the Penance suit, of course he'd be suspicious, dig in, try to figure out if Jason was some supervillain lunatic hiding it from everyone.]
[Of course it looks absolutely bizarre. And of course his time on the the Thunderbolts looks like him being awful - because he was. Provided they beat the giant monsters and the world doesn't end, it's probably only a matter of time before Jason tells everyone. ]
[Especially if he was... hurt? By someone?]
[Especially if he's...maybe scared?]
I already told you. Speedball. I'm Speedball.
[For a moment, he mentally laments how his name sounds like a villain's idea of a made up stupid superhero name. Ugh, it probably sounds fake. The thought accidentally projects and possibly makes it sound like he's regretting his made up hero identity isn't more convincing.]
My real name is Robbie Baldwin. Which I may as well tell you, because -
[Because everyone back home knows what I am, comes across far too loud.]
Because I did some bad things. [Tears well in his projection's eyes.] But I'm not - one of them I never intended - and I'm trying to make up for it, for all of it, even though I know I never can. I'm not going to hurt anyone here. I'm not going to hurt you.
no subject
What happened to the people you caught? Did they ever get to go back home?
[Is Robbie's shame and guilt only after his actions caught up with him? Jason has seen too many criminals express regret at being caught, not at the crime itself.
All of these feelings and questions are projected onto Robbie without Jason saying it]
no subject
And if it went wrong in a - a permanent way, it was usually because they let Bullseye off his leash.
I tried to bring people in alive. Not unhurt, but at least alive.
[He holds out his hands in a placating way.]
Look, man, we don't have time for this okay? We need to get out of here, get this hookup cut off. I'll answer your questions after this whole situation is over. Alright?
Any questions you have. I'll tell you everything.
CW: Off-screen gore mentioned in video link
Before Jason and Robbie could realize it, they're in this memory (Up to 2:05).
Jason's lurking up on a catwalk in the dark as he watches Gotham's top drug dealers gather for the meeting. He's armed with an AK-47 and there's a bloodied duffel bag besides his feet. He watches and listens as the dealers are suspicious and speculating who called them all together. Their conversation reinforces Jason's intel about how no one's been happy about being under Black Mask's control.
Once one of the dealers grows impatient and is about to leave, Jason announces his presence in a commanding voice. Time to establish who's got power. When the dealers whip out their guns, Jason calmly fires his AK-47 around and near the dealers. He had anticipated their reactions and knew they would cower when he shows his firepower. They already had given to Black Mask. Giving in to him would be easy. He just has to show who's got more power.
He snarls a command at them again but it's just for intimidation. Internally, he's still calm. Things were still going according to plan. Jason then presents his terms to the thugs. They're simple enough and they'll be allowed to continue their businesses for the most part. Any transactions involving kids though means he'll execute the dealers who were involved. Gotham has too many traumatized kids and broken homes as it is. He doesn't want any kid to go through what he did.
Then one of the dealers questions him. Jason had anticipated that as well. Without another word, he tosses the bloodied duffel bag over the railing. It lands on the table for the dealers to take a look. As soon as the bag is opened and the dealers step back in horror, Jason knows he's got them now. Good. They should be scared. There are going to be some new rules in Gotham. He's going to take the reins better than Bruce ever could. Crime can't be stopped but it can be controlled.
Jason coldly finishes his terms to the drug dealers. Then he ends the meeting by firing his gun again. A little more fear to make sure they don't forget who's the new crime lord.
Unlike with Robbie's memory, Jason's memory simply ends. For Jason's part, there's no rage or shame at all for what he's done, only anger that his memories and feelings are being exposed without his consent]
no subject
You were getting all righteously indignant with me when this whole time you've been the class president of the local drug dealer student council?!
I mean it's nice you've got a "no kids" rule, but to hell with all the people that get addicted as adults, am I right?
[Screw you, dude! And here he was feeling so small and awful when Jason is clearly just some petty little drug lord.]
Oh, well done, like for half a second I almost bought it, but you were just scoping out the competition, weren't you. Hoping there are no other supervillains around that might challenge your next power grab.
no subject
Jason makes no effort to hide his indignation about all of this]
Believe it or not there's more than one way to combat criminals. Throwing them in jail and hoping they actually stay in there doesn't always work.
cw: child death, suicidal ideation
[He throws up his hands.]
But you're right, we need to end this. Just...get re-partnered to go fight the end of the world and never talk to each other again. Fair deal.
["The end of the world." They're the wrong words to say because it's too easy a jump to a moment. A specific one.]
[A memory flashes again.]
[Robbie - no helmet, no goggles, the guy Jason bantered with at the book store the other day! - sitting in what looks very obviously like a personal office in a charity. There are bulletin boards on the walls with volunteer pictures and framed news clippings.]
[Robbie, an older woman, and an older bald man are watching a crisis on the news looking horrified. The woman is Miriam Sharpe, the founder of the charity Damian's Gift. Leonard, the man, is one of the volunteer managers. Robbie has just been rescued from a bad situation, taken back into the office to hide until everyone goes home. He was attacked by other volunteers.]
[There are villains being given magic hammers all around the world, attacking places at many times their usual power levels, causing widespread terror.]
["My God," Robbie says.]
["You didn't know?" asks Leonard.]
["Leonard, I had no idea," says Robbie. "I was with the volunteers all day."]
["I guess with everything people here have lost," says Miriam, "not just in the explosion, but with the recession... Their retirement, their homes, a lot of them...something like this happens and it's easy to start acting like it's the end of the world."]
["Why aren't you?" Robbie asks, wondering at the source of her obvious calm, forgetting what he should know.]
[The look she gives him is the most cutting someone can direct at another person because it is fueled by a mother's love and a mother's loss. Her words are a knife slipped between his ribs, and it's what he deserves, it's what he deserves, he'll never stop deserving it. She could pull out his still beating heart and crush it in her fist and with his last breath he'd apologize for getting his blood on her pumps.]
["My world ended the day my son died," she says to Robbie and his face crumples and he doesn't bother wishing for the ground to swallow him up because it's too easy and painless compared to what she has to live with, compared to what he's done to her.]
[Compared to what he's done to her son.]
[What he's done, what he's done, it surges out in a rush just from being touched like a pricked abscess spilling out nastiness from an infected wound.]
[The memory flashes to something else, to Robbie on a prison transport with his green giantess of a lawyer. He is wearing his old superhero costume but is in handcuffs and his head is shaved. There's a sea of angry people outside. His face is bruised like he's been beaten. It happened in prison. Most inmates aren't overly fond of people that kill little kids.]
[He's young but with his shaved head and exhausted expression, he looks older.]
[She-Hulk says: "You're not exactly in a position where you should make people angry."]
[Robbie bows his head in his hand. "I seem to have done pretty good so far. According to them, I murdered sixty innocent kids."]
[He's led off the transport through a sea of people towards the steps of the Capitol building, towards a special hearing waiting for him inside. The event he caused is large enough to warrant testimony in front of Congress. There is no one in the crowd on his side, they hold signs that read things like "Burn, Baldwin, burn!" Faces filled with pure hate reflect back at him, endless voices scream, "Monster!" "Murderer!" "You deserve to fry, Baldwin!"]
[A women gets close to being right in his face, and she's shoved aside by security as she screams shrilly, "Babykiller! Babykiller! The blood of those babies is on your hands!" (He's been called some variation of "baby" or "kiddie" killer so many times by so many people it doesn't sound like language anymore.)].
[The press are there in droves. "- Reporting live at the Capitol building, where Robert Baldwin, the vigilante known as Speedball, is about to give testimony about his role in the massacre at Stamford, Connecticut. Baldwin is being held responsible for 612 civilian deaths, 60 of them innocent schoolchildren -"]
[A flash forward again to Stamford, the same night as the magic hammers being strewn around, to a crowd of random innocent civilians, holding him where he kneels on the ground. One of them is suffocating him to death with a plastic bag, bypassing his kinetic powers. They hate him that much, that normal people are willing to lynch him.]
[He doesn't fight it.]
[Jason hears his thoughts as he fades: Maybe it's better... Just let them do it... S'what I deserve. ]
[When the memories retreat in a wave he's still kneeling there, unmoving, staring into the blackness of his own mind, his face wet with tears. He doesn't bother arguing anymore about anything Jason's done.]
no subject
What was the Stamford incident? How could so many people have died? How could so many children have died? It's easy to loathe Robbie but the overwhelming sense of guilt and despair over all those deaths isn't what a monster would feel. Whatever the full story is, it can't be good. But can't have been something Robbie did on purpose. Could it? He has too much remorse.
Jason's heart also sinks knowing this was the same man he had such a fun conversation with at the bookstore. but it explains the books Robbie was buying. It also explains the brief glimpses of darkness Jason caught from Robbie, both as a civilian and as Speedball.
Feeling ready to give up one's life and that no one will miss him is also disturbingly familiar to him. It's happened to him more than he would like to admit.
After what feels like a very long silent moment, Jason finally steps forward and reaches to touch Robbie on the shoulder]
Robbie?
[Jason's voice doesn't have his usual deep Red Hood growl. It sounds more like the man Robbie talked to at the bookstore, though not as light as during that encounter]
no subject
[He knows he should probably reach out, see if Doc Samson is a) alive and b) available but the squirming anxiety around talking to someone makes it hard to reach out even to him, the one mental health professional that genuinely helped him.]
[Still, he's gotten at least a little better...but this wasn't just some kind of trigger in his environment, this was being dragged back and dunked into a sea of hate and guilt and self-loathing, during a time he struggled to feel like he deserved anything else.]
[His brain, like many people with PTSD, has irregular pathways and chemistry. His response to outright re-experiencing the memories is to dissociate a little to protect itself, something he fortunately rarely faces anymore. Jason can likely feel the slight withdraw, the distance, the floating sensation.]
[It's even harder by virtue of the fact they're both locked in some weird memory-space with only their own self-concepts of their physical bodies. There's no outside stimuli to focus on. But he feels the touch on his shoulder. It's something external, a nudge they're both contextualizing as physical. He turns his head to look at Jason's hand, surprised to see it there.]
Hmm?
[He says it like someone trying to pretend they're following a conversation with someone else.]
[He pulls his thoughts together just a little, looks at him with wide eyes.]
You don't have to be nice to me. You shouldn't be nice to me. Not over this.
[Why is a crime lord being nice to him? The thought is loud enough for Jason to hear. That makes even less sense than some other people being nice because some people he can chalk it up to them being too nice for their own good.]
CW: Child abuse and drug abuse
Jason can feel Robbie's mind disassociating after the memories they just experienced. That's another reaction Jason's painfully familiar with. It's a defense mechanism. Some memories will never fade. Instead, they just as painful as the day it happened. They're forever burned into a person.]
I fight the way I do because I know real monsters exist.
[Somewhere in the distance, someone is maniacally laughing]
I've met monsters who traumatize, maim, and kill for fun.
[Now the sounds of a blunt metal object striking something joins the laughter]
They never regret it either and will happily keep doing it again.
[Before Jason realizes it, it's another memory plunge. This time it seems to be this one. (Up to 2:03)
Jason throws the Joker onto the floor of the decrepit apartment he's using. Finally, Jason's so close to rectifying Bruce's mistake. He just needs a little more time.
The Joker's just as defiant as ever. No surprise there. Jason ignores the psycho's prattling as he silently takes out the crowbar. He had been waiting five years for this moment. It was the least the Joker deserved after all the people he's traumatized, maimed, and killed.
The Joker's defiance drops upon seeing the crowbar Jason takes out. Jason feels cold pleasure from seeing the criminal now becoming fearful. Good. The monster's grin should've been wiped off years ago, before so many people died.
Then something happens to the memory. With every crowbar strike the Red Hood makes against the Joker, there's also a glimpse of the Joker doing the same crowbar strikes on a teenager. He's the same young man Robbie saw before. It seems two memories are bleeding into each other.
When the Joker says "tell me more," Jason is cold again as he yanks the Joker and beats him more. Unlike the Joker, Jason doesn't kill or hurt for fun. Each action has a purpose. And in this case, the Joker's only part of the plan. Soon, he'll meet Bruce and force him to finally make a choice. Does he value his son or his so-called moral code?
Jason hopes Bruce finally makes the right choice. It should be clear what it is. Just like years ago when Jason's mother was still alive.
Then a third memory plays. There's miasma of depression in the shabby apartment. Jason looks at his mother with a mix of disappointment and depression as she gives him what little money she's willing to give to have something to eat. The rest of the money is going to drugs, like it always does. Reluctantly, Jason leaves the apartment. He doesn't want to but they do need food.
When he walks past Robby, Jason's temper briefly flares up and he curses at him. He hates him so much for feeding into his mother's addiction and for constantly taking away what little money his mother had. There've been so many time when Jason and Catherine couldn't feed themselves or were freezing because they didn't have the money for food, better clothes, or to pay for heating.
Then Robby grabs him and slams him against the wall. For a moment, all Jason can see is just flashes of light because of his head hitting the wall. Then he sees Robby's knife and is terrified for his life. He can't die. There's no one else who can take care of his mother.
Robby let goes and resumes head to Jason's apartment to meet Catherine. Meanwhile, Jason slides down against the wall and cries. He's so tired of all the pain and misery he and his mother are going through. Something needs to change.
The memory seems to briefly fritz and then resumes with Jason against the wall again. Evidently though, he did get the bread as it's sitting next to him. Finally Robby comes out of the apartment and is clearly high. The man makes one more nasty remark about his mother before stumbling towards the stairs.
That's it. Jason has had enough. No more abuse. The time between Jason deciding and Jason acting on that decision is only seconds. Glaring at the drug dealer's back, Jsaon pushes him down the stairs. There's loud tumble and crash before the body hits the floor. Blood begins to leak out of the man. Meanwhile, at the top of the stairs, Jason just stares. He feels no pleasure at what he's done but he's not sorry either. It had to be done.
The memories finally stop and now it's Jason's turn to back away. He feels exposed and wants to flee. No one needed to see all of that just now. It was no one's business to know how deeply hurt he's been. He can handle himself just fine. He doesn't need anyone anymore]
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[Of course that's ruined now.]
[Robbie is taken back out of himself again, because of what's happening, because of how sordid it all is. His horror only increases the longer he watches, the longer he feels the rage and despair and desire to end it all, to end all the hurt for good. No one protected Jason when he was young - and couldn't protect him later, from those wet thuds from a crowbar - and now he feels that he has to take it all into his own hands.]
[Robbie's parents had at times been distant, in some ways neglectful and self-involved. At times, he'd been so desperate for any attention at all that he'd provoked even negative attention just to get some. His father had been harsh and exacting on occasion, impossible to please. But his parents still had their moments of being loving. He'd still been safe and fed and grown up wanting for nothing material due to his parents' firmly upper upper class incomes.]
[There's a reason that, barring an outburst around the beginning and some accidental panic he'd inspired when Veil discovered his self-harm that Robbie had been a relatively good teacher to a group of at-risk teens.]
[His capacity for empathy and compassion. He'd had it before Stamford, back when he'd been a fun-loving teen that thought superheroing was a blast, because he'd always been well-meaning on top of being a joker and a ham. But after, after he started to feel again, it'd become even more finely honed. For all he was damaged and battered and scarred in so many ways, that was a rare instance of a part of him that had gotten stronger - even if he can't really see that it has or what it's worth.]
I know it means next to nothing coming from me, after everything I'm responsible for.
[Another wince and he stands again.]
But you didn't deserve that. When you were a kid. Or whatever it was that was done to you later. [The laughter, the tattered uniform, the sound of the crowbar...] You know that, right? And when that man attacked you...
You were protecting yourself. You were just a little kid. You didn't have many options besides the authorities and they would've put you in the system and maybe left your mom alone with that guy, which...it's understandable you were afraid of that.
[He knows the foster care system can be awful. The New Warriors have always hit a lot of street-level crime and that means running into broken systems and understanding social ills ]
And you don't have anything to be ashamed of, still being hurt by it all.
[In the visions of the beating and in the tattered uniform, he'd been... god, maybe around the age Robbie was when he first started being a superhero? But Robbie had been blessed to be taken under the wing of several older teens who'd done a good job of keeping him safe for quite a few years before disaster struck.]
[Disaster that was partly his own fault. He'd been the albatross around his friends' necks in the end.]
[Robbie instinctively holds out a hand, tempted to place a hand on the man's shoulder, but withdraws it again, thinking he won't want to be touched, possibly in general or touched by him specifically.]
[The sincerity radiates off him in waves, though. There is no barrier in this moment, no resistance, the way there'd been when they'd been trying to withhold things from each other. There is just the raw, pure belief that Jason had deserved better.]
I can't agree that what you're doing now, that what you've done recently, is the right choice to try to fix the things you want to fix. Even ignoring any moral arguments, there are so many reasons you're not even considering that there could be consequences that hurt innocent people.
That can tear off whole parts of you.
[He knows from experience as Penance how causing that kind of harm rips away chunks of yourself.]
But I at least understand why it's the one you're making. You just want it to stop, the things they're doing. And whoever that was - he's a hero you're close to, right? - you want him to start making it all stop for good.
And everyone wants to be worth it to the people they care about it.
[Robbie is not, to some of the people he loves. Maybe he still is to the New Warriors but his parents threw him away like trash and he can't even disagree with it.]
[He can at least understand without thinking it's the right choice, and get that the place it's coming from isn't as monstrous as the methods themselves are. It's certainly a better motivation for hurting people than the ones Robbie'd had in the Thunderbolts, where it had been more about hurting himself and trying passively to die than anything else. The actions are wrong but the desire to end the harm permanently is just human.]
[It's a level of understanding, empathy, compassion, and wishing to comfort that someone responsible for killing children, for killing over 600 innocent people, shouldn't even be capable of.]
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When was the last time someone was compassionate to Jason without him thinking there was a catch to it? Without him thinking things will eventually fall apart? Jason's well aware that his actions are extreme and that most people don't agree with him. Most people can't understand the things he's been through. Plenty are also quick to judge from their high horses. He had already resigned himself to being alone for the rest of his life.
With his family it's complicated. He misses having one but knows none of them will ever agree with what he's done or with what he still wants to do. Even with Bruce and despite their talk last month, it's hard not to think his love is conditional. Coming to this alternate Earth and meeting additional adopted siblings hasn't helped as now he struggles to think if he was replaceable. Bruce has told him he's not but still. It's hard to trust him again after he chose to keep his moral code. It's also hard to believe anyone in the family when they tell him that eventually he'll reconcile and come back into the fold. After all, he has no regrets about what he's done.
Jason's learned that in the end, he can only depend on himself.
Jason looks back at Robbie. He's heard from so many other people now (especially from Bruce) about how wrong his actions are. The way Robbie is talking to him is different. Instead of the usual morality debate, it's about Jason's own well-being. How often does that angle get used?
In the shared mindspace, Jason knows what Robbie is doing isn't a ploy. Everything he's saying is real. It's shocking but also comforting. It's a level of comfort Jason hasn't had in years.
This also reinforces what Jason had concluded after going through Robbie's overwhelming despair, guilt, and depression. Monsters don't feel what Robbie feels. Monsters don't have empathy for others. Robbie isn't a monster. Undoubtedly the Stamford Massacre is a tragedy but Robbie's connection to it isn't that of being a sociopathic mass murderer]
Thank you.
[The words come out almost like a croak. The feelings Jason sense from Robbie are almost overwhelming. He's not used to them but they're also comforting. Jason can't help but become deeply appreciative for what Robbie's doing for him]
I can't say I understand everything you've gone through either but I know true evil.
[Jason takes a deep breath in and then slowly exhales before continuing. He's trying not to have his mind slip back into that warehouse again]
I know true evil and that's not you. They don't feel the way you do. You still care. You still feel guilt and compassion. That's a lot more than what some other criminals have. What you're doing now by talking to me says a lot about you already.
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I know I'm not evil. [He's guilty, he's responsible, but not evil in the way supervillains are.] And I know it wasn't entirely my fault.
But it still partly was and nothing can ever change that. It doesn't matter what anyone says.
[A flash of his time as a teacher at the Avengers Academy. Media day. Introducing the Academy kids to the press and the world, trying to control the narrative around them to protect them. A reporter speaks into a camera. Robbie realizes it's about him and starts to edge away.]
["- leading to the shocking revelation that the hero known as Penance - who helped save our capital from alien invaders - was actually Speedball. Coupled with new information about the Stamford explosion, including that the criminal, Nitro, who Speedball fought there, had artificially augmented his powers, this has led to the former 'most hated man in American' being forgiven by 70% of the public. Speedball, do you feel you've been vindicated?"]
[The reporter holds out his microphone, but Robbie shakes his head. "No. Because people still died because I didn't do my job right."]
["If you'd sit for an interview -"]
[Robbie gives him a dismissive wave of his hand, turning away. "Sorry. But if there's one thing working for Norman Osborn taught me, it's that words mean nothing. I'll let my actions speak for me."]
[In the present, Robbie hugs his arms to himself.]
I can't just wave my hands and pretend I didn't do something wrong.
I still screwed up.
[He doesn't want it to go there. He fights it, tries to keep it from going there. But he can't fight it, can't prevent the memory-space from finally dragging it to there to where it all happened. To Stamford.]
[He and his friends, his team, are doing a reality show. Robbie thinks it's fun and is glad that after the team breaking up many times, they're all back together again. His friends aren't as gung ho but it's bringing money back in for Dwayne to get his corporation going again, to bankroll the team. It also lets them find people around the country that need help and can't get a team like the Avengers or the Fantastic Four to come out in a timely fashion.]
[After a life of struggling to get it from his now-divorced parents, Robbie loves the attention, the fame. It's for ostensibly a positive thing. He doesn't become spoiled or a fame monster but he does keep egging for it, starts to care about getting more.]
[The show takes them to Stamford, Connecticut, a stone's throw from where Robbie grew up. There's been a prison break. The New Warriors are cleaning up the mess, looking on a house where several meta convicts have holed up.]
[Robbie looks young, too young to be "the most hated man in America." How is he even a man? He's 17 but even with his powers adding on some height and mass, he's a relatively skinny kid to begin with, mostly wiry muscle.]
["These guys are totally out our league, man," frets Microbe.]
["But think about the ratings, Microbe. This could be the best episode of the entire second season. Six month we've been driving around looking for goofballs to fight, and the best we've managed so far was a bum with a spray can and a wooden leg. This could be the episode that really puts the New Warriors on the map, dude. We beat these guys and people stop bitching about Nova leaving the show to go back to space."]
["So what's the plan?" asks his blue teammate Namorita.]
["The plan is you spend five more minutes in makeup, Namorita. You think people want to see that great big ugly zit on your chin?"]
[It's the last thing he says to her before the accident and the fact another version of her got pulled from the timestream later will never change that those were his last words to that version of her.]
["We've been marked," calls out Night Thrasher, looking at one of the criminals take out the trash with binoculars. They've been spotted.]
["GO!" Speedball calls out.]
[They go crashing in through the windows. They quip and say things that are dramatic for the camera.]
[And yet they fight well. They're an experienced team and while they're missing a few members, it's a team where three members of the four have fought side by side for years. They've faced cosmic threats, reality-altering ones.]
[When the mic doesn't pick up a line of banter, Robbie doesn't try to recreate the shot, he just says the line again on another blow.]
[They have every other villain besides Nitro down in mere minutes.]
[Namorita slams him into a school bus, right near a school. Nobody is worried. The bus is empty and the kids on the nearby playground are far enough away they should be safe. They know the size of his explosions. They can get him down fast enough.]
[It's far enough Robbie can't hear what's said. But Namorita doesn't drop him right away. Robbie looks up from where he's zip tying the villain he was fighting and then -]
[Things temporarily move in slow motion. Nitro's eyes glow, then his body does too. There's a brief, alarming, high pitched whine. The grin on Robbie's face starts to drop. The explosion happens so fast that Robbie can't even get his hands all the way up in time to condense more of his kinetic energy into a shield. He's been hit by trains before, throwing himself in front of them for the starting momentum to travel places and that feels like nothing compared to this. The explosion overloads his kinetic field, concussing him with the energy that causes his powers to overclock and overload. It burns out synapses in his brain, starts a process of mutation that will make his powers change later in defense of him.]
[He's bounces off like a ricocheted bullet, suddenly overhead the explosion in the blink of an eye. It is massive, engulfing chunks of neighborhood, swallowing up most of the elementary school. It's the last thing he sees before losing consciousness.]
[There are a few flashing memories, impressions. Waking up in SHIELD custody and getting arrested, jail and all the beatings in prison and during transport, by guards and inmates alike. That time another inmate bit a chunk out of his arm. Viciously fighting for his own survival. His mother visiting and saying she's never coming back.]
[Until that day at the Capitol, surrounded by a mob of hate. He shouts out about his rights not being respected, points out he committed no crime, killed no one. She-Hulk gets nervous about the lack of security cordon, the route getting changed.]
[He doesn't even see the gunman, a man whose daughter was killed at Stamford.]
[The pain is the worst he's ever felt up to that point and his ears ring from the loudness of the gunfire, from the way his head hits the Capitol steps. He wishes his mom is there. She-Hulk takes his head in her lap, is crying over him because throughout it all she hasn't forgotten. She hasn't forgotten the bright bouncy kid he was and how the New York superhero community watched him grow up.]
[To this day, the way she treated him during this time, comforted him as he was dying, took his case when no one else would, fought for his safety and a chance to speak on his own behalf, is one of the most profound kindnesses he's ever experienced.]
[He's in agony as the EMTs put on a pressure bandage, get him onto the ambulance. She-Hulk sits with him in the ambulance, places a hand on his forehead, like she'd be petting his hair if it hadn't been shaved off.]
[He keeps thinking she's his mother.]
["I don't want to die here... in front of everyone. Not here, mom. Not here."]
[His life's regrets wash over his soul. He couldn't admit guilt, couldn't admit fault, because then he'd have to acknowledge that his friends are dead. And it wasn't the New Warriors anyway. It was him. Everyone died. Because of him.]
[His powers come back, react to his pain. They're changing, the pain fuels them. The explosion causes the ambulance to crash, shoots himself and Jen out through the roof of the ambulance. He lands in the grass a distance away, still in agony as he bleeds out on the ground, as the blood from the gaping stomach wound and bullet fragments in his spine, pools in the grass around him. It pours out of his nose, burbles up each time he coughs.]
["My fault..." he rasps out, staring up at the sky. He can barely hear his own voice because of the blood in his ears. "My fault... My fault..."]
[He can't fight it, can't put up a barrier to the hate anymore, so he takes it all inside himself, the way he'd had no control over taking in the bullet. His psyche, his sense of self, collapses like a house of cards. He is a screw up, a monster, a murderer. His name is dirt.]
[SHIELD agents that were part of the security detail come in. One gets out a camera. Another says, "Shouldn't we help him first?"]
["Director Hill thinks it was an escape attempt, she wants it documented."]
[They leave him bleeding in the grass as they take their shots first. Cameras flash not far off after the press catches up to the accident, SHIELD creating a crime scene cordon around the accident.]
[It's very Hollywood. The TV star teen heart-throb, ruined, as cameras flash away. He'd wanted attention, after all. Well, he got it, all the the attention in the world.]
[Present-day Robbie is miraculously still standing afterward, arms wrapped around himself, his face wet, because even though it's a space in their brains, he's still imagining his body.]
[His voice is brittle when he speaks again, and sounds like it's being put through a meat grinder. The shame over someone seeing what he did in detail is pure, refined.]
It's not as bad as it was. A lot of people in Stamford forgave me for what I did. They let me volunteer in town and no one's tried to lynch me again.
[That's progress, right?]
And they don't run the polls as often anymore, the ones about how many people forgive me.
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But then the Stamford memory kicked in and Jason understands now the full scale of the tragedy and horror. All those people, including all those kids, gone in a flash. But even amongst devastation, something about it doesn't click right for Jason. A part of his detective training kicks in and what he's heard about the Stamford Massacre versus what actually happened doesn't make sense. Robbie wasn't even the one who fought Nitro.
It makes sense from an emotional perspective that people would be furious at Robbie. He was there and was part of the fight. But to utterly loathe him, call him a baby killer, and to try to kill him doesn't make sense. How badly warped was the narrative until that press conference?
Seems like part of Robbie's guilt is survivor's guilt. Jason is deeply sympathetic to him. He's gone through so much injustice and is too hard on himself to say the least.
Then there's the assassination attempt. It's the most nauseating memory. As if things couldn't get worse for Robbie, that happens. People who were suppose to help him wanted to cover their own asses first]
You got used like a prop.
[Jason's voice is cold. He's angry on Robbie's behalf]
They took out a camera first.
[There's a flash of Jason's own memory kicking in. It's of his 15-year-old self in his Robin suit, sans mask. The suit's in perfect condition and he's sitting in front of the Bat-Computer. Bruce had been more tight-lipped than usual. All Jason knows is that Barbara, someone he's come to respect and love almost like an older sister, was shot by the Joker and she's now permanently paralyzed. He wants to know how the hell it happened and wants to take out the Joker the next time he and Bruce fight him. Barbara is one of the best people Jason knows and she's one of the best vigilantes. She needs justice.
After some searching on the computer, Jason finds the file and opens it. Upon seeing what was in it, Jason's horrified. The Joker had taken pictures of Barbara after he shot her in the spine. Every photo is of her crying in agony on the floor and bleeding out. Jason almost wants to cry.
In the present day, Jason's shaking in fury]
They didn't see you as a person. They only cared about themselves.
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[That poor woman, and tied to the weird clown, too, the same one that -]
[The torn uniform, the sound of the crowbar hitting someone earlier -]
[But Jason's wrong. It's not the same.]
Look, I know there are parts that other people chose. A company called Damage Control was bankrolling Nitro and gave him the drug. They knew it would escalate to metas infighting over registration with the government and they'd get contracts to repair the damage.
And Nitro was perfectly fine with killing all those people and killing kids.
I know there are places where other people chose to do terrible things.
But at the end of the day, I'm still the one that rushed us in without a plan. That insisted we fight them for ratings. I'm the one that pushed my friends into still doing the show when they were barely interested.
All because I liked the attention.
Nothing can ever change that. All I can do now is try to be better.
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But it sounds like if it wasn't gonna be you guys then it would've been another team. None of you could've known what was going to happen, especially when that guy's powers weren't known to go up to that range before.
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Anytime you go into a situation against a supervillain you have to be ready for anything.
[Never mind that that's impossible to be that prepared.]
[He gives him a grateful look.]
Look, I understand what you're trying to do.
[And it's tremendously kind, especially coming from a near stranger.]
But it still is what it is.
[Still, this is...strange. This space where someone is trying to understand him and it's not one of his friends who love him no matter what. It's not someone that's already invested.]
[It's kindness coming from an unexpected place. It feels honest and not like someone just pitying him or being blind to his faults. He can't quite believe Jason's right but almost. Almost.]
[He's grateful for that kindness.]
We need to get our brains back in gear. The seers said we have to go fight. We still have to.
And... we should maybe still try to do it together. We've already seen the worst, right?
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Technically, no. I still got some demons in me. You can probably guess some of them.
[Normally, Jason wouldn't be this blunt about his past but given where they are and after all the memories they've already shared, there's no point in lying now]
But constantly bouncing in and out like this can't be good for either of us. You're right. We have to go.
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[ They come to, standing at their stations in the robot, the techs calling to them through the comms. They're bewildered. ]
["What happened? You were completely out of it, your sync rate was awful, and now it's stable."]
How long we were out of it?
["About five minutes."]
Just five?
["The time you perceive in a shared mindspace can seem to move faster than the outside world. Do you still want to try to do this? Especially with how it was in the beginning?"]
[Robbie looks over at Jason and gives a tiny nod.]
Yeah. The things that we were struggling with, we got over them.
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He then nods]
Yeah. We're feeling better now and ready to go.
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[But shame is a hard thing to fight through, especially connected to someone else. So it helps that he knows he's not being judged. Maybe he doesn't understand it, maybe it's bewildering to him that Jason isn't doing it, but at least he doesn't have to fight the shame of someone else finding out, of them knowing. There's only the usual shame he feels for himself.]
[They fight well. Somehow. Two brains remember crash courses and practice simulations on the controls a lot better than one. And so much of it is normal movement, the normal throwing of fists. So there's two sets of experiences with fighting, too. Jason's got more training on that front (a lot more), and the magic sword thing is a very welcome bit of offense, but Robbie's instinctual way of controlling his channeled power, projected through the robot - sometimes creatively - covers their defense.]
[And there are two sets of will, dialed into the "never say die" setting. They've deal with neglect and rejection. They have powered through heart ache and loss and death - whether it was their own or those around them.]
[And here they are, drawing a line in the sand in front of a monster, one that says "there will be no children that die by fire today."]
[The collective heroes can't beat these creatures, though, just stall them until a way to defeat them is found, but Robbie and Jason manage to do it long enough that by the time the robot has taken too much damage for them to keep limping on, the cavalry makes it there for the next shift of monster-fighting.]
[The robot barely manages to limp away - though they have to be convinced to leave at all.]
[The ground control guy tells them, "Look, I know you guys feel the need to keep fighting but we need our giant robot to not get wrecked if we're going to have a chance of beating these things. It needs to be repairable. Besides, you should feel proud. We've been monitoring the monster's movements. You didn't give up any ground during your shift. Not an inch."]
[They get back. They get helped out of their power ranger suits. They hit the showers and are given workout clothes to recover in. Robbie jokes about whether or not they'll get the official t-shirt. There's a space there for pilots to recover comfortably. The strain of piloting is enormous, especially when conjoined at the brain. Physically, it's like running a marathon. They get food and rehydration and medics attenting to any boo boos. They were mostly insulated but still got knocked around in there.]
[Where he sits in his little recliner, eating off a tray and practically inhaling gatorade, Robbie has an ice pack on his ankle from when the robot took a blow at an odd angle and something snapped in his ankle harness, letting him roll it. They think it's a minor sprain.]
[He's quiet. He's not sure what to say. Doesn't want to pretend it didn't happen but it dipped into both their traumas, not just his. Maybe Jason will want to pretend it didn't happen, will want Robbie to avoid prying any farther.]
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Both had gone through so much trauma. Both have had to adapt and create their own coping mechanisms from those traumas.
While Robbie felt shame for himself, Jason felt exposed, weak, and self-conscious from having shared many deeply personal memories with someone he only recently met. No one has ever gotten this deep of a look at Jason. Bruce knows him the best but even with him, Jason's made it a point not to let him know too much. No one needed to know his traumas and the effects they've had on him. He's always been a survivor and will continue to do so. He doesn't need anyone anymore.
Once he and Robbie returned to the base to recover, the adrenaline began to wear off and now the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion came in. Jason was mostly quiet after they disembarked from their mecha, though he did dryly added to Robbie's comment that they should be getting a little more than just t-shirts after all this giant monster business is done.
After showering, getting changed, and getting medical attention, Jason's now sitting silently in a recliner next to Robbie. He's got his own tray of food and a large bottle of Gatorade. He's also pressing an ice pack onto a couple of mildly bruised ribs. Letting the monster get that close was worth it though as that move allowed Jason to land several deep stabs and slashes.
As much as Jason would like to pretend nothing happened so that he could move on, he can't forget what he just experienced. He's never been this exposed with someone before. Robbie knows things he's never told anyone before and vice versa. Jason's also aware at how confused Robbie is with him not judging him. Jason himself is wondering what Robbie's going to do with him now that he knows Jason's not above becoming a crime lord.
They might as well clear the air now and maybe figure out what to do next, if anything needed to be done at all.
After several long minutes of silence, Jason takes another large swig of Gatorade before finally speaking]
So now what?
[Jason knows it feels like such an inadequate question to ask but there's so much to unpack]
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[He looks around instead, makes sure no one's close enough to hear the conversation.]
Well. Technically, I didn't see anything that suggests you've put anyone's head in a duffel bag in this world, so technically I don't have any proof whatsoever that you've broken any laws here.
And I hope you keep it that way. I don't want to -
I don't want to have to fight you on something like that. Or...at all.
[How many people have looked at the ugliest sides of him and not turned away? And of those people, how many have keened on to just how broken he still is?]
[It's also easy to not want to pile on someone who's been through all Jason has. It's easy to wish instead they'll just eventually find their way out of the dark.]
[Robbie had, at least through the worst of it, through the part where he was hurting others. The part where he hurts himself, he's still working on, but at least he got away from the Thunderbolts.]
So, for now, I guess I don't tell anyone you're causing trouble or try to get you in any legal trouble unless you do something in this world I can't look away from. And you don't tell anyone about how tenuous my past relationship was with sanity and that I used to walk around in a creepy gimp suit with matching spiked thigh highs.
[He says it in a very cavalier way, in his usual joking tone, but it's a bit more forced than usual. Gotta cover up that embarrassment and shame by making it sound like a joke.]
[Jason's gotten a peek under the curtain, though, enough to understand how much Robbie covers things up with something else.]
People back home, most of them don't know. They know about the suit and that I was in it, but...
[He finally looks embarrassed, can't help but duck his head.]
They don't know how Hot Topic the inside got.
And while I told the people at the Alliance about Stamford and that I was...unwell, at one point [Is still, but he's not telling anyone, let alone the people paying his rent], if they find out the specifics they might not let me superhero. I know I could be unregistered but I don't -
[He finally looks up.]
I wouldn't really know what to do. How I'd get by. Back home, the way I supported myself is having a really rich friend and being fine with living in a superhero base.
[He has some basic life skills like cooking because in a home with two very flighty and sometimes absentee parents you learn to cook and do your own laundry, but jobs? Taxes? Hell, he's not sure he even has a valid photo ID back home now that he and Vance ditched their identicards. It just hasn't come up.]
[All he's got is the superhero thing.]
[In the Alliance, he's at least getting paid for the only thing he's good for, and he's not even actually good at it.]
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