metalogs | i lie awake and watch it all

Who: Jane Foster (

accretions)
What: Settling in, getting a job.
When: late October - early November?
Where: Sunset Falls, Excelsior
Content Warnings: will update as needed!

1. i'll be the calm, i will be quiet [sunset falls | closed to thor]

[Honestly, even though she asked about Thor pretty much as soon as she figured out how to, Jane puts off seeing him for a few days. It feels weird to be alive again and now that she's stopped to think about it, she's not sure if it won't just be awful for him. He did watch her die, after all. That much she remembers, even if everything else is a little unclear.

Heimdall greeted her in Valhalla, but then she was falling out of the sky. She doesn't have an explanation for how it happened, which is more than a little frustrating, but it doesn't feel like the sort of thing that she can ask about in public. Saying "hey, so what are the mechanics of coming back to life" is just going to make people think she's crazy. It feels crazy, if Jane's being honest with herself, so it took her a few days to mentally sort herself out. Plus there was the off chance that Thor had moved on—it's only been a few minutes for her, but coming back the first time felt like that too. Five years went by between the Snap and her coming back, but it was like no time passed at all and it could be the same here. At least that time she understood why and how she'd come back. This time... well. She feels a lot more unmoored than she really wants to let on.

In the end, though, she makes her way to the house where someone said he lived. He hasn't come to find her either, so Jane assumes that nobody told him. Which is good, she thinks, because this is one of those things she'd like to do on her own terms. Taking a deep breath, Jane presses the doorbell and waits.]

2. it feels like thousand eyes [sunset falls | open]

[Once that's done and over with, Jane turns her attention toward the second most important matter: money. The obvious tack to take is, of course, science-related things but honestly? It's been a while since she actually did anything but science. Being Mighty Thor was kind of appealing for that reason alone. She loves being Doctor Jane Foster, but it feels like this is a chance to get out of her comfort zone a little bit. Whether or not that's where she ends up is another matter, but still.

That's how she ends up in the Sunset Falls Public Library. Libraries are good hubs of a community, in Jane's experience, and it's sort of right there. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, depending on the point of view, she ends up in the library on a Thursday and the locals assume she's there for the occult group's meeting. Which means she is currently being stared at blankly by the group's leader as she tries to explain herself.]

Oh, no. I just wanted to see the library. I don't really, uh. That is to say I'm not a practitioner? Of the arts?

[Help. If she keeps talking she is absolutely going to offend one of these people.]

3. i am the storm so wait [excelsior | open]

[Yeah, okay. She should probably stick to science. Fortunately for her, everyone is quite upfront about the fact that if she wants to do science? She should be in Excelsior. Even after being cautioned about the fact that they aren't exactly friendly or welcoming to metahumans, Jane figures that it's not unlike being a woman in STEM in the first place: people don't want you there and you just have to stare them down until they accept you aren't going anywhere.

Besides, apparently they're working on space travel and if there's anything Jane feels extremely confident about it's her knowledge of the movement of objects through space. Wormholes are her personal area of expertise, but she's dabbled in other forms space travel. NASA tried to recruit her constantly.

The trick is just... learning how to navigate the city itself.]

Sorry to bother you, but I was directed here because I'm an astrophysicist back home. I'm looking for... Ursula Baz?

[She has no idea if this is a well-known name or not, but Atomight gave it to her as someone who might have use of her skills.]

4. i can't control withering wonders [wildcard]

[if these don't work for you, feel free to get in touch so we can work something else out! i'll also match format, so reply however you want and feel free to hit me with whatever if you have an idea. jane's technically still living at the diadem and using her powers to get around, so location doesn't matter much. otherwise hit me up on plurk (flyingthesky) or discord (flyingthesky#0332) to hash something out!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't know. I've come back to life twice in two years and I've got a sick magic hammer so.

[ you know how you do, like, a pencil flip? jane absolutely tries to do something similar with mjølnir and just barely manages to not straight up drop it on the floor. ]

You are... never gonna let me live that down, are you?

[ there's a shadow of real amusement there, deepened along the lines of his face. ]

Well. I've seen worse.

What do you mean, you've come back to life twice?

Well, when half of the universe got wiped out by Thanos I was in that half so then I came back when they... unsnapped us, or whatever we're calling it. And then I died again of natural causes, went to Valhalla, and now I'm here.

[ she shrugs. it be like that when you're a superhero. ]

[ something cold trickles down his spine. loki dismisses it. ]

You have to die in battle to reach Valhalla.

[ jane looks down at the weapon in her hands, running her fingers over it and not saying anything for an almost uncomfortably long moment. ]

You asked why I have Mjølnir. I thought... I thought it could cure my cancer. It didn't and I lost the battle against it.

[ which counts, apparently. she's as surprised as anyone about that. ]

[ and it was a battle worthy of valhalla. yes, loki could see why the doors opened for her . . . and not for him. not that he ever expected them to, but he had hoped, maybe —

but what was he hoping for? they don't let frost giants into asgardian heaven. he knew that. he knew. he was just . . . being childish. sentiment. loki clears his throat. ]

Mjolnir never had that kind of power. Thor should have told you.

[ in fact, it's baffling that he didn't. ]

He did, after he found out. It's not like I could be like "wow, Thor, haven't seen you since I broke up with you because we were both too busy saving the world to talk to each other and by the way I have cancer."

[ she didn't really want to tell anyone in the first place, least of all someone jane thought she'd left in her past. thor wasn't on earth when she picked up the hammer and by the time he was, the fact that it wasn't helping was already apparent so she didn't ask. she knew what he'd say, because he said it when he asked her to put the hammer down. to give them a chance.

on some level, jane can admit that she wanted to be selfish but the cost benefit analysis just didn't make sense for that. she was already dying. nothing was going to save her, and at least when she was being mighty thor it felt like something was in her control. ]

[ quietly. ]

You could have. He would have done something.

[ or at least tried to. thor would have done anything. after all, and his stomach curdles sourly, he helped the avengers bring her back. ]

... It was already too late by then.

[ she has a theory about the aether and what it might have done to her, what it might have meant to hold something she wasn't meant to twice, but that's too much to dump on anyone. ]

Your turn. I said something emotionally vulnerable, now you tell me about how you tricked death into skipping you again, because last I heard you died for real.

[ partly she's asking because she's miffed about his death being fake the first time, but mostly she's asking because... well. that's a friendly thing to do, right? and she should probably try to make friends with him, if she's going to be hanging around thor. ]

[ his expression is tight. ]

I did not trick death. I came back through the power of another. If I had, I would be on Earth, not existing here.

i lie awake and watch it all | open

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cw: cancer

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