[Open + 1 Closed] Insomniac turtle, what crimes will he commit

[faceguy]

Who: Leonardo Hamato faceguy and YOU
What: Mutant menace loose in Michigan
When: January, post-age swap, mostly at night
Where: Around Central City
Content Warnings: mentions of crime?

A: Training Time

[Leo has two katana now, but his powers haven't stabilized yet. Not really a surprise, since the new sword isn't really a twin of the old one. Still, it hasn't stopped him from trying to get it working.

He can be found many nights throughout the last half of January up on the roof of the Diadem, or any flat roofs of surrounding buildings, going through sword katas and then trying to get his powers to work.

Perhaps you catch him as he throws one of the swords across the roof (thankfully he has so far managed to not throw it off the roof), then disappear in a spark of blue electricity...

...only to crash down halfway from where he was trying to go.

Or maybe you catch him with a blue, shimmering portal only big enough for a hand open in front of him, while he mutters disappointedly.]

Come on, get bigger!

[Either way, he doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.]

B: A Little Vigilantism Never Hurt Anyone

[Of course, he can only train for so long without getting bored, and the natural consequence of being awake at night a lot is that he happens to see some of the shadier activity that happens in Central City's alleys under the cover of darkness.

Anything that looks like organized crime he doesn't get involved with, but petty thieves? Pickpockets? Muggers? That's something he can handle.

Speaking of...

Perhaps you are the one being mugged, or perhaps you are just an innocent bystander - either way, the eagle-eyed observer may just notice the flash of white eyes in the darkness before a suspiciously green teen appears and clocks the mugger cold with the handle of a katana.]

What can I say? I'm a real knockout.

C: Salt and Pepper Diner

[He's not always out in the middle of the night, though - sometimes he's out at a more reasonable 8 or 9 PM. And one of the places he likes to go is a diner Six showed him that is more friendly to Metas; it's not quite the same as going to Run of the Mill in terms of "fitting in," but at least no one gives him actively hostile looks if he puts his hood down.

Just going in and quietly eating his pizza isn't really his style, though, and Leo can't help but get up to a little mischief.

Like what he's doing right now: queuing up six plays of What's New Pussycat? in the diner's jukebox.

After that, who knows? The night is still young!]

Closed for Huvrye

[Spending so much time in the Diadem, Leo has gotten to know a bit about the habits of his fellow universally misplaced neighbors. Specifically to this instance, he has learned that Huvrye likes to order a lot of delivery - and by the smell of it, tonight he has ordered pizza.

He must be in his room, but Leo isn't trying to be quiet or subtle when he walks up to intercept the delivery guy on his way, holding up a hand to hale him.]

Delivery for Huvrye Tirvio? I got it!

[The name is unique enough that it looks like the underpaid delivery man will not ask questions. He holds the box out and Leo goes to take it.]

Comments

never pay full price for late pizza

[effiomsfavorite]

[Huvrye's last few meals have gone missing before they managed to get to him. The first two he didn't notice right away - he had wound up engrossed in something else and only figured it out when he checked his phone to see them marked as delivered, but not to him. Weird errors, but not a big deal - he hadn't really needed to eat yet anyway.]

[The third meal had included an extra portion he'd planned on bringing to Hunter.]

[The third meal had been missed.]

[So the fourth meal is a trap. The internet has informed Huvrye that pizza is a popular delivery meal, and the book Mark had gotten him has informed him that the place he's ordering from is supposedly the best place in Central City. Also, he'd ordered something called a "supreme." No way would a food thief be able to pass that up.]

[He drops out of his window, lands on the pavement, and heads into the lobby - via the front doors, not the elevators - just before his phone tells him the delivery is scheduled to arrive, and waits. There's the delivery person, there's his pizza, and the person moving to intercept and giving his name is-]

[Oh, come on.]

[He strides up behind Leo, takes advantage of his height, and rests a forearm on Leo's head in much the same way one might lean against a counter. He addresses the delivery person, reaching out to take the box.]

He thinks he's funny. I'm Huvrye.

[faceguy]

[Whoops! Busted.

Leo gives an exaggerated gasp of offense, even as he lets the poor, confused delivery man hand the pizza off to its proper recipient.]

Excuse you! I know I’m funny.

[He is also judging the distance between himself and the door. Huvrye has him beat for height and he has wings, but Leo is a ninja, he can escape fast!

He just has to… sliiide out from under Huvrye’s arm… sloooowly…]

[effiomsfavorite]

Hilarious.

[He takes the pizza box in his free hand, and that movement does not go unnoticed. He drops his arm down around Leo's shoulders and pulls it tight as the delivery person leaves.]

You can either walk with me, or I can drag you. Either way, we're gonna have a talk.

[Pick your poison, kiddo.]

[faceguy]

[Leo feels like, if he really wanted to, and if he were in some kind of danger, he could get out of Huvrye's hold and run for it. Maybe not easily, but he could.

But he also doesn't get the sense that Huvrye is actually going to hurt him, from their previous interactions, and while he can always be wrong his intuition is pretty good. So rather than trying to fight him off, he slumps.]

Fine, I'll walk. Just hands off the look!

[The look is the same hoodie he wears everywhere because he doesn't have a lot of clothes (he's never needed a lot of clothes), but that's not the point.]

[effiomsfavorite]

[He probably could. It would not take Huvrye long to catch up.]

[But pain is not the intent here; Huvrye just wants to get to the bottom of this...situation. He loosens his grip when Leo agrees but doesn't move his hand, leading them instead towards the elevators and pushing the button with the edge of the pizza box.]

Yeah, I don't trust you not to run off.

[Lenient, not stupid.]

[faceguy]

[He’ll get in the elevator, but he doesn’t look happy about it.]

You know, I’m pretty sure forcing teenagers to follow you is villain behavior.

[He’s just saying.]

[effiomsfavorite]

[To Huvrye's credit, he does drop his arm once the elevator doors close, and instead he hits the button for one of the higher floors. Being higher up suits him well.]

I don't know if you've noticed, but most people here are human, which means we stick out. I didn't think you'd want to have an argument in public.

[People may forget two people having an argument, but they sure will remember "the winged guy and the turtle had it out in the lobby."]

B

[weakest_ninja]

[Sakura had also spotted the criminal trying to go after someone else. Despite her own weakness, she couldn't let the criminal get away...

Only for her to spot the green teen taking them out.]

Woah, that was... fast!

[faceguy]

[Leo prods the bad guy with his foot. They aren’t dead, but they are out like a light. A job well done.

Then he hears someone speaking, and he looks over his shoulder.]

Oh, you gotta be fast if you want to be a ninja.

[weakest_ninja]

Well, I kinda know that, just…

…I didn’t expect it from someone like you.

[faceguy]

What? What about me makes you think I wouldn't be fast?

[Well, besides the turtle thing.]

[weakest_ninja]

Well, you're a turtle... I'm sure that shell would be something of a hamper to your speed and agility being much heavier proportionately.

[faceguy]

[Ah, so it is the turtle thing!]

Yeah, but I'm a mutant turtle, so the rules are totally different! I can lug my shell around easy.

[This is code for no, he has no idea how his biology works, but just go with it.]

[weakest_ninja]

[Sakura’s sure that’s bull crap, but she’s gonna drop it for the moment.]

Well, at least you make it work. I’m sure he didn’t see it coming at all.

Salt and Pepper Diner

[mirror_soldier]

[Going out was not something Thad did often. Partly because he had no incentive to not just order room service, but more because he just didn't particularly like people, or the crowded streets, or all the weird smells and intrusive noises of the city. But he was stuck here and he'd have to get used to all that, and going out to eat once in a while was an easy way to ease himself into it.

As soon as he saw someone playing with the jukebox he already felt like he would regret it. What was worse than forcing an entire eating establishment to listen to your choice in music? The song starts, and oh sprock it's bad. And then it just...keeps going. This couldn't possibly be as long as it sounded. It takes to the third go around for him to figure out what happened.

How many times did he see that person punch in a number? Seven? No. Six. Still bad. There's a temptation to just get up and unplug the horrible machine, but he'd rather not get kicked out. Instead, he turns to look at the perpetrator sitting in the booth behind him, not quite glaring but there's definitely some stern judgment there.

Does this count as him trying to socialize more?]

Why did you do this? You can't possibly like this song this much. It's bad.

[Spoken softly, at a quick and stilted clip, and said as if that's simply a fact. ]

[faceguy]

[Leo has been sitting quietly with his soda, just enjoying watching the faces of the people around him as they start to notice the song replaying. Most of them ignore it, or act like they're trying to - at least one spoilsport puts in earbuds. But a few people are visibly annoyed, and one of them seems to be getting his attention now.

A slow grin spreads over his face when he catches Thad's eye.]

What do you mean? This song is the cat's meow.

[He sounds just short of laughing.]

[mirror_soldier]

[Okay, now he's glaring, eye visibly twitching and jaw stiffly setting at that pun. Staring intently at the reptilian meta, he's quiet for an uncomfortable beat before finally replying with-]

The only way you could argue this cat song is any good is if you told Tom Jones to sing it in a soundproof box.

You can't prove it isn't good if you can't hear it. Unfortunetlly-...[He gestures to the jukebox as it starts to go into its fourth play-through, silently indicating "I can hear it, and it's bad".]

[faceguy]

Wait, wait, I've heard of this before!

[What is it called, what is it called...]

Oh yeah! Shrew-dinger's cat song!

[Well he tried. At least the thrust of the joke is still there.

Anyway, if he was hoping for Leo to do something about the song still playing, good luck.]

[lowercase_el]

[Kon only chose the diner because it was on the way home from work. He's been trying not to just fly because it's not like he can stash a superhero costume at work without risk of it being found, so he commutes, although this entails just walking the whole way home.]

[(It's not like he gets tired easily so it saves on bus fare.)]

[He stops at the diner just to maybe get something warm to drink and because the smell of pie got him just a little homesick. It's cheap at least. He doesn't make much note of the green kid other than to make sure nobody around him is giving him the side eye too much. Some places in the city aren't the most friendly to metas. But no, he seems okay.]

[He looks a little like Lagoon Boy.]

[The thing about "What’s New Pussycat" playing over and over is that the second time it plays your immediate thought is not "hey's it's playing again" it's "wow this is a really long song." But by iteration four (or maybe two iterations if it's just really, really long?) the guy next to him is clenching his teeth.]

[By the fifth iteration, people groan at the start of the song and Kon has to fight very hard to keep a grin off his face so they don't think he did it. He looks around and sees...okay, green guy. Who hasn't ordered anything but a drink - as in perhaps spent a lot of his change on lots of "What's new Pussycat"s? and is just there watching everyone.]

[He takes his coffee and pie over to the booth next to Leo's, sitting behind him so their seats are back to back. (He can't just sit with him or he'll be seen as a collaborator, and he's not taking any heat for the original part of the prank by going over to the jukebox.)]

[Very discreetly, with a sweep of his arm that seems like he's just moving into his booth with his pie, some more change is slipped on top of Leo's table.]

[Kon goes back to eating his pie and pretends to read something on his phone, quietly talking to Leo like they're two Soviet-era spies passing along state secrets.]

If I were you, I'd throw in a 'It's Not Unusual,' somewhere in the middle. It'd get their guards down for some more 'What's New Pussycat's. Then I'd cap it all off with an entirely different song that makes them think they're in the clear because it's not Tom Jones, but it's just a different bad song by a different singer. Like MacArthur Park.

[He shrugs.]

But that's just me.

[faceguy]

[Leo is surprised when change is suddenly slipped onto his table, but then the guy who just sat down is giving him advice. Really good advice.

And how can Leo pass that up?

The thing about adding more songs to the playlist when he he has already caused the Pussycatastrophe is that he'll have to do it without anyone realizing he's the perpetrator. Just going up there to change the song won't be suspicious, but once it cycles back to What's New Pussycat?, everyone will know it's him.

He'll have to be sneaky. Good thing he's a ninja with magic powers.

He doesn't visibly react to anything the guy is saying, just slides the change into his hand. Then he gets up and moves like he's headed for the restroom. He also checks the numbers he needs to press as he passes the jukebox.

Then, when no one is looking, he opens up a small blue portal in front of the jukebox, just big enough to fit his hand through. In goes the change, and then he presses the numbers.

Given how wonky his portals have been, he's aware it could snap closed at any time and he'll lose a hand for the sake of a dumb prank.

Worth it.

But miraculously the portal is small enough that he maintains it without severing his arm. He then returns to his seat, just as It's Not Unusual starts to play.]

[lowercase_el]

[Kon sees him do it. The benefit of superspeed. It means better perception too, the world slowing down because a brain has to operate faster to make limbs move faster, especially when he's focusing on watching. It's not on par with the Flashes, especially here where it's weaker, but still there.]

[The sigh of relief at "It's not Unusual" is palpable. The tension in the room dissipates. Sure, it's more Tom Jones but people are probably chalking it up to some kind of weird glitch or someone doing it by accident.]

[Crisis averted, the music is moving on.]

[And then...]

[BWAM WAM! "WHAT'S NEW PUSSY CAT!!!"]

[The man who had been clenching his teeth slams his fists on the table and shouts "Goddammit!"]

[Kon's shoulders shake a little but he manages to hold it in.]

[The annoyance builds again. Through a few more What's New Pussycats. Someone talks to the hostess, pointing at the jukebox, but the hostess looks like she's trying not to laugh. (Anything amusing breaking up a workday isn't always unwelcome, after all. And for once it's not just staff annoyed by repetitive bad music.)]

[Finally the barrage of Tom Jones is over, the music moves on.]

[Everyone looks relieved.]

[...Until they realize what the new song is - one commonly held up as one of the worst songs ever made. Everyone looks about ready to leave by "I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it. And I'll never have that recipe agaaaain!" The customer talking to the hostess finally talks the hostess into just pulling the plug.]

[Kon's voice is quiet but amused.]

If I were you I'd escape before anyone picks up that the kid who only ordered a drink might be the guy who did that. They'd probably arrest you for a war crime because I'm pretty sure that violated the Geneva conventions.

[faceguy]

[The chaos erupting around him is too good. Leo swallows the last of his soda, watching in triumph as the hostess finally silences the faithful jukebox.

At the guy's whisper, he grins, leaning back just enough so he can be heard without raising his voice.]

Hey, I always try to go above and beyond.

[But more than one person is looking now, so he may have a point. Leo puts down money to cover the drink and the tip, then slides out of his booth.]

Time to dip.

[Someone says, "Hey kid!" but Leo doesn't stop, exiting the diner at top speed.

Once outside, he takes a calculated jump and gets up onto the diner's eave - which he hangs off of to tap the glass on the window outside the helpful stranger's booth.

If he looks, he'll get a thumbs up.]

[lowercase_el]

[Kon looks up and laughs.]

[He holds up one finger signaling to give him a minute. He manages to get the last of his pie down in two bites. He'd already gotten the check the last time the waitress went bye so he goes and pays at the register.]

[Then he walks outside and looks up.]

Thanks for that. Spent all day getting tormented by customers at my job at the Weenie Hut so it felt nice torturing some back.

[It was a little petty but utterly harmless.]

[Because oh how the mighty had fallen. He'd gone from dying to save the world to wearing a hat with a hot dog on it and getting reamed out for things like a hot dog having to much relish after they'd been asked to add extra.]

[Kon is perfectly fine with taking on an unpleasant job but there was a quiet dignity in the kind of unpleasantness you deal with as a farmer. But there just isn't any dignity to be had in a job where you have to wear a hot dog as clothing.]

[faceguy]

[Leo grins wide, putting a hand to his chest.]

I live to entertain.

[Even if not everyone appreciates his brand of "entertainment," he's always glad to find someone who does.]

You had some great ideas, though. Thanks for the help.

[He hangs further off the ledge so he can extend a three-fingered hand.]

I'm Leo.

[lowercase_el]

No problem.

[Kon shakes his hand. Unlike some residents of this world, who can be more likely to be uncomfortable with those who look visibly like metas, he seems utterly unphased when shaking his hand.]

I'm Bolt. Bolt Diesel.

[The least fake of names, but he at least drops it very casually.]