metalogs | I want to be blinded from this dull today

Entry tags:

I want to be blinded from this dull today

Who: Leonardo

faceguy, Donatello

purplexing, Accelerator

levelshift
What: Three children commit light B&E and felony theft.
When: Late May. Probably after that Fantastic announcement, what timing.
Where: An electronics recycling facility in Central.
Content Warnings: Kids committing crimes, body horror, psychological horror, blood, sensory overloading. These kids have trauma, thanks nightmare floor! Will update as necessary.

[With everything going on in Central City - the flooding, the lockdown, Fantastic taking over the Alliance - the smart thing to do would be to delay this whole mission. Or even better - call it off, because even though it should be a (mostly) harmless crime for the benefit of Donnie, stealing equipment meant to be recycled is still illegal. But no, they've made plans, scoped the place out, trained. Dropping things now would be putting all that time and effort to waste, and besides, it should be a simple stealthy in-and-out mission, right? It's a recycling facility, how bad can the security be?

Besides, it'll be fun to stick it to Fantastic. A heist (albeit, a small one) happening right after he becomes head of the Alliance? Now that's fantastic.

Accelerator isn't too sure what to expect. He's been in a recycling facility before, back in Academy City, and the security was incredibly lax. This is a different city - different universe, with different rules. He's a little cautious, since this was originally his idea, and he's the one with only thirty minutes of power to work with. Otherwise he's a weaker-than-normal high school student relying on two very capable ninjas.

It's fucking weird to be relying on other people. He kind of hates it, and he isn't totally sure why, though he can't exactly overthink it right now like he usually would. He's trying to stay focused on breaking into the facility and not fucking anything up for Donnie and Leo. He's even made something of an effort for tonight, with a duffle bag to store equipment (a smaller backpack is inside for stuff he'll grab for the Society's cut) and a black hoodie in case he needs to hide his hair (he isn't sure, white hair just doesn't seem very stealthy).

So far it's going smoothly. With Leo's planning and leadership and Donnie taking care of the security system they're able to sneak in and avoid the paths of the security guards. In fact, it's going so well that it sort of seems like they might be able to get in, grab what they need, and get out with no incidents whatsoever.

Of course, it's absurd to throw all caution out the window simply because things are working out right now. Especially when they run into their first obstacle.

After dodging a few more guards, the trio will come to a long hallway, the only path to their goal without having to pass directly several security stations. Spread through the length of the hall are little red lasers, arranged into one very elaborate grid meant to ward off would-be thieves such as themselves. It's like something out of a spy movie, and it's unclear whether these are the kinds of lasers that will cut a limb off or simply sound an alarm if tripped. Maybe it's both.

Accelerator leans heavily on his crutch, looking thoroughly irritated with this obstacle. His reflection might be actively detrimental here.]

This is fucking ridiculous.

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[It's a goddamn miracle they haven't set off any other alarms or had a security guard pass by - this hall is a cold, clinical, and welcome reprieve after all of that. Accelerator, not caring whether they're on some guard's patrol route or something, just lies there for several minutes. At some point he thinks to retract the cane portion of his crutch so it isn't in the way, but that's about it.

That static in his ears hasn't dissipated, and with no Krang coming after them his mind shifts back to the Sisters and their blank faces. It's technically been several months since he last saw any of them, and he didn't expect to see them again. Not here, not until he went back to his own universe. But they were there, perfectly replicated facsimiles, warped by the nightmares of the other two. But...

The things they were saying. What #000001 had asked him. Those were thoughts he's had before, hundreds of times. All they did was vocalize them. None of them did anything wrong, none of them have ever done anything wrong. He's the one who happily tore them to shreds for his own selfish gain. And no matter what Last Order thinks, even if one of them had said she didn't want to fight - if #10 031 had told him that in the alley while they were counting down the seconds to start the trial, or right before he jammed his fingers into the bullet wound on her shoulder and reversed her blood flow, he would've - he would've -

He would have still killed her. That's it. Ten thousand Sisters into the experiment and he wouldn't have stopped.

He's choking down any noises aside from his own uneven breathing.

And now all of that has officially followed him here, an entire universe away. It's not as if he's actively been running from his past, but he's deliberately avoided telling anyone in this universe about what he's done. Now Leo and Donnie have seen them, and he has no idea how he's going to deal with that. There isn't much difference between an active lie and lying by omission, and he's still a monster for doing the latter. Even worse when he's considering the former.

As he feels his pulse gradually slowing down a resigned sort of depression settles in the pit of his stomach. It's a familiar ache that leaves him feeling disgusting and raw. Getting out of here is going to be rough, when all he wants to do is lie here until the earth swallows him.

It's only when his eyesight has stopped shaking and refocused that he moves. His breathing is still unsteady and he can feel his hands trembling as he pushes himself up so he's sitting.]

... Fuck.

[They likely need more than a second. Concerns about roaming security are far from Donnie's mind at this point. At the moment he's not particularly focused on where they are or why they'd even come here.

Little steps, he'll get back up to speed.

He can hear movement from the others, a mild comfort in itself. Up. He should get up. He doesn't want to get up. The cold floor is numbing but it feels good against his shoulder, against everything else. No more fingers and crawling, creeping tentacles. No sickening wetness between his toes, no metallic scent overpowering everything else. The low buzz of the overhead lights replaces the thousands of voices, the thunderous lightning strikes.

His arms and legs ache. That's a real sensation, nothing brought by some dumb magical illusion. He draws in a breath that all at once sounds too loud to his own ears, making him wince again, and breathing it back out doesn't sound any quieter but he tries to relax his body in preparation for trying to move again. Very hesitantly, he opens his eyes.

There's Leo. Just past him, Donnie can kind of make out Accelerator now that the esper's sitting up. They're okay. They're...well, they're here. That's enough, right now.

Slowly uncurling an arm from himself, Donnie reaches out for his brother.

He's still here. Leo's still here. Accelerator's still here.]

[The movement from Accelerator catches his eye first, and Leo slowly uncurls from his ball, blinking into the light in a daze. But it's Donnie reaching for him that actually spurs him to action, and he reaches back immediately, taking Donnie's hand in his. The touch grounds him, and he gently rubs his thumb over the back of Donnie's hand in what he hopes is a soothing motion.]

Hey, Dee. [His voice comes out hoarse, and he winces.

He reaches with his other hand for Accelerator next, now fully uncurled and leaning back against the dented wall. He puts his hand on Accelerator's shoulder, if he doesn't pull away, and he'll attempt the same thumb motions there, too. Just making sure the other boy is there and recovering as best he can.

He clears his throat and tries speaking again.] This floor is a two out of ten in comfiness... wanna come here, Donnie?

[It's okay if he doesn't want a hug or anything after all that, Leo won't take it personally, but he'll still help him get up off of the floor if he needs it.]

[Accelerator is still mostly off being buried in his own brand of overthinking. His brain, stupid efficient thing that it is, picks up that the turtles are up and moving, which means they aren't dead. That is an objectively good thing and subjectively bad thing, since it means he has no idea what kind of lie he could come up with that explains the Sisters.

He couldn't lie, anyways. It would be selfish, and they don't deserve that. They didn't deserve to have their agency stolen from them again, and they don't deserve to be re-victimized all over again by him telling people about them without their consent, but that magic system has kind of smashed everything to pieces. Now he'd only be making things worse by not being honest about them.

... Which means he's inevitably going to lose two people who aren't exactly friends, but he's kind of liked their company. Even when they've been aggravatingly sociable and he hasn't. Accelerator knows he should be fine with that, this is the life he chose after all, but that pit is growing in his stomach at the thought.

He shouldn't have left the room. He should've tossed Leo and Donnie through the door and just stayed there -

Aaaand then Leo is touching him. He starts, though he doesn't jerk away (he's still used to physical contact bouncing off his reflection, so his reflexes kind of suck). He looks from Leo's hand over to the two of them and sees what is plainly some familial comforting shit occurring. Obviously nothing he should be a part of, so what the hell, Leo???

Accelerator is giving him a look like he's crazy (maybe it's some nightmare-induced instability or something), and scoots away slightly.]

[There's the briefest shudder upon contact, but Donnie squeezes Leo's hand, seeking some confirmation that it's not something that will just vanish on him. His grip relaxes slightly, the reassurance from Leo in his simple gesture enough. A little more tension disperses with his sigh.

Floors generally aren't comfortable but Donnie's reluctant to part with its solidity. But he really should get up.

He doesn't trust his voice just yet, suspecting it'll sound just as bad as Leo's, but he nods, tensing this time in preparation to move.

Hearing movement from the other side of Leo, Donnie pushes himself up just enough to see more than just the top of Accelerator's head. He's not sure what to make of the face. ...he can probably figure it out but he's still trying to focus on one thing at a time, and right now not falling back over is taking priority.

Once he's up and pulling himself closer to Leo so he can be against the wall, Donnie leans tiredly against him. Now that they're not stuck in whatever hell that room had conjured up for them, as much as he wants his space, at this moment he doesn't want to be alone, and for sure he knows Leo doesn't want to be either.]

[He’s ready to steady Donnie if he starts to fall, but Donnie makes it up on his own, coming to lean on him against the wall. If this were either of his other brothers Leo would be throwing his arm around them and snuggling in right now, but since it’s Donnie he is content with the leaning. The constant pressure is a reminder that they aren’t alone. They have each other.

He does keep rubbing his hand, though, slowly.

His attention is pulled between his concern for his brother and his concern for Accelerator when he feels the other boy shift away from his hand, though. He looks over and catches the rather rude look he’s being given, and he quirks his head to the side. Not wanting to be touched he understands, but why is Accelerator looking at him like that?]

…Need anything, Accy? [He goes with that instead of asking if he’s okay. Obviously he isn’t, none of them are. But if something would help him, Leo is willing to offer it.] I won’t tell anyone if you want a hug. Your bad boy image is safe with me.

[Good for them, at least. Their entire family might not be here, but they at least have each other, and that's clearly helping in the aftermath of all of that bullshit. There's no way any of them are going to be able to shake any of what happened off, so they can lean on each other to get through it.

It wouldn't be inaccurate to say Accelerator is a little envious, but he's refusing to acknowledge those emotions. That becomes a heck of a lot easier when Leo speaks up.

He doesn't sputter, but he does give him the biggest death glare he can muster for the smarm. Nevermind how he's somehow managing the effort it takes to joke, it's amazing he isn't just telling Accelerator to go to hell.

Accelerator, of course, just growls.]

Fuck off.

[That should be the end of it. He should turn around and let them have their moment, which has nothing to do with him, and then they can all move on.

... Instead he scoots closer. God, he's going to regret this, he knows he is. He refuses to look at either of them.]

[It's easier for Donnie to allow a clingy Mikey, but then that's to be expected when he's the little brother. Being little-brothered in turn isn't something he's used to.

Leo's the only one who really knows him here. Donnies are finicky and he's sure if it were anyone else trying to comfort him right now, he'd just feel suffocated. This however? This is fine. But he is going to be super jumpy for a long while whenever anything or anyone comes into contact with him.

He lifts his head a little, enough to glance over at the exchange between Leo and Accelerator, and there's the faintest snort. Well, he's feeling better enough to be amused, at least.]

[Leo’s not used to little-brothering Donnie either. He might have joked about being three months older now, but in his head Donnie has never really been older or younger, he’s just Donnie. His little brother is Mikey and his older brother is Raph, and he and Donnie occupy the nebulous middle child space.

But Raph isn’t here to be the big brother and there’s always gotta be someone up the chain - that’s just how it works. Leo can’t fill Raph’s shoes, but he can at least move into this void and do what he can. And then maybe later he can lean on Huvrye - the next link in the chain Leo has made for himself here.

(He didn’t want Huvrye to know about this, but now he’s pretty sure he can’t get away without him knowing.)

But Donnie is… well enough to be amused, so that’s something. He keeps his gaze on Accelerator, who, despite his vocal irritation, has moved closer, and Leo takes that as an invitation whether it really is or not.

He slings an arm around Accelerator’s shoulders, pulling him in so he can lean against Leo like Donnie is, if he wants to.]

Alright, so that sucked. [His throat is still scratchy and his voice hoarse, but he’s doing his best.] But I don’t think we got caught, so… I vote we just chill in this hallway for about… ten minutes. Give or take.

[If he wasn't so intent on not looking at either of them he'd be shooting Donnie a glare right now. He heard that. Now he's sure he's never going to live this down. His life is over, when he gets back to his apartment he's going to crawl into bed and never leave.

... Those thoughts might be overdramatic, but he can't really help it when Leo throws his arm around his shoulders. This is awkward and embarrassing, and not solely because it's completely ruining the carefully curated jerk of an image he's created for himself. This is like, his first group hug ever. He can't even remember the last time he was hugged that wasn't some kind of obnoxious (and endearing) tackle from Last Order.

It's terrifying. He hates it, and he doesn't want to move. He's even leaning a little against Leo, despite being tense as hell.]

I can't do any calculations right now, anyways.

[The downsides to relying on complex brainpower for superpowers: heavy amounts of stress tends to screw it up. His head is still a mess, and he's going to need a few more minutes before he's confident he won't put a 1 in place of 3 or something.]

[Hiding under blankets in his room would be great right about now, even if not for the same reasons Accelerator wants to in this moment.

They're all sounding off, finally. Donnie figures he should do the same, now that he's leveling out a little more.]

We are not going through that again.

[His own voice sounds even worse than Leo's. It effectively shuts him up for a moment. Too bad they didn't pack any water.

Donnie hopes they can find an alternate egress if there's no way to disable that room, but even if they managed that, he doubts any of them would want to risk stepping back into it.

He tries clearing his throat while he casts a glance down his side of the hallway.]

...maybe they figure no one gets past this point to invest in security sweeps down here.

[They can hope, anyway. That room had knocked them all off their game and he doubts any of them want to have any encounters with anyone right now.]

[Crawling under the blankets and never leaving sounds so good right now... Leo would give anything to portal them straight home.

He can't, though, so he doesn't bring it up. (It's another thing to feel guilty about, though.)]

Ugh... the fact that you're even talking about math right now makes my brain hurt.

[He knows Accelerator needs it for his powers to work, but seriously. Gross.

He can feel how tense Accelerator is, so much as it might be fun to tease him a little for coming into the hug, he doesn't. Besides, Donnie is finally speaking up (and man, his voice really does sound wrecked), so that gets some of Leo's attention.]

We aren't. [He fully agrees on that.] I'll try to find us another route on the way back. [Or a way to disarm the room. Either way, they aren't going back in there. He'd rather get caught and go to jail, if he's honest.

Hopefully neither happens. He's just going to assume Donnie is right for now.]

[Accelerator frowns a little, refraining from putting in the effort to come up with some smarmy remark about the necessity of math. That would take far more energy than he has right now, and it would be better spent distracting himself with ideas for an alternate route.

Not that... he's coming up with any, but he's following the lead of the other two and considering their situation. It's a marked improvement over spiraling thoughts about the Sisters and how insane it is that he's uncomfortable with a simple hug. As he does he's noticing how wrecked the turtles sound and taking several seconds to make sure he's composed enough that his voice sounds measured. It isn't easy, but he's managing it somewhat.]

There has to be another route. There's no way they'd have employees going through there on a daily basis. They've have to turn the room off every time.

[It would likely be too much of a hassle to do so whenever someone needed to walk through. Or if there was an emergency and there wasn't time to?]

Edited 2023-05-25 03:45 (UTC)

[His thoughts feel so sluggish right now, but at least they're back on track. Donnie nods at Leo, then along with Accelerator's own input.]

Yeah...and if they're moving equipment down, there must be a freight elevator or something. Probably something only operational from the inside if they're that concerned about security breaches.

[Wincing as he has to move his arms, Donnie manages to pull up his computer, bringing up a couple windows, one of them being a copy of the building layout.]

I lost track of the time in there, I need to make sure the loop on the security feeds is still running. Although the fact that no one's come running is a good sign, hopefully.

[He brings his hand up to the side of his face before remembering he doesn't have his goggles.]

Yeah, good point. We just gotta find it…

[Leo isn’t sure Donnie should be looking at his computer so soon after everything, but he also knows trying to keep him from his tech is a futile effort. Leo will just keep an eye on him in case he gets overwhelmed again.

Though when he reaches up and finds nothing, Leo remembers. He lets go of Donnie’s hand, other arm still looped around Accelerator’s shoulders, and plucks the goggles off his head.]

Thanks, by the way.

[He says this as he plops the goggles in Donnie’s lap.]

That was quick thinking.

[A freight elevator could work... there might be more foot traffic at night through a corridor like that, but it beats the alternative.

He finally looks over and sees the goggles and it clicks. That's how Leo managed to get them that far through the room, then. He had been so distracted by everything he didn't realize Leo had those things.]

Shit, that was smart.

[Probably not a great idea, but he can't not check on things, and trying to do what he's used to helps him avoid thinking about the thngs he doesn't want to think about.

Donnie not quite jumps as the goggles are deposited in front of him, staring down a moment before he nods as though just remembering why Leo had them in the first place. He picks his goggles up, turning them between his hands before he slides them over his head.

Even with the comments from the other two, he can't help but be overly critical of himself. ]

I couldn't think of anything else. You were the only one able to get us out.

[He looks miserable at that. After learning what Leo was still dealing with, becoming a liability is the last thing Donnie wanted. If there's anything he hates, it's being useless.

Which is part of why he gets to checking technical issues, but he knows security's a valid concern. He lowers the goggles, trying to hide a grimace at the readouts that come up from the passive scanning and the readouts that come with it.

He identifies a couple of cameras in the hall, exhaling once he manages to verify that they're part of the main security feed. As soon as that much is done, he shoves the goggles back up from his eyes, closing them for a moment.]

Everything's still running. Still virtually invisible, somehow.

[Leo catches that look, and his own expression falls. He waits for Donnie to be done with his checks before speaking again.]

Then we have more time to chill here.

[He’s serious about that break! Especially now that he’s seen that look and he can still feel how tense Accelerator is.]

…I’m serious, though. You did good. With the goggles and with using your battle shell to move us closer to the door.

[He looks over at Accelerator next, giving him a light squeeze with the arm around his shoulders.] And you with that… whatever the heck that was at the end. That was craaaaazy!

It was really a team effort, so good job, team.

[Leo feels like all he did was walk, after all.]

[Accelerator isn't going to be any help. He's noticing the look Donnie gives the goggles and pointedly looks away again. No point in saying anything when he isn't wrong.

Apparently their lucky isn't completely shot. When Donnie says everything is still okay he doesn't relax, but he doesn't make any moves to get up. The break in confirmed relative safety is appreciated, even if things feel all awful and uncomfortable. His (really pathetic) body needs it, even if it means stewing for a bit longer rather than focusing on their goal.]

....

[The squeeze doesn't get much out of Accelerator. If anything, he's tensing a little more.]

He's right. We would've been fucked if it wasn't for you. I sure as hell wasn't going to move on my own with all of them there.

[Juuust going to redirect the conversation back to what Donnie said. It bears repeating.]

Edited 2023-05-25 23:54 (UTC)

[Leo does bring up some good points. Donnie sighs a little, letting himself lean against his brother again.]

I mean...I guess we can't deny it was a collaborative effort.

I don't think any of us would've managed in there alone. And as terrible as everything was combined...the outcome could have been drastically different if there'd even been one person less.

[Slowly he eases his eyes open again, staring at the blank wall just beside the open doorway that looks so deceptively empty now.

In some odd way they'd balanced each other out. True, a lot of it was in desperation, but...it counts for something.]

For the record, I vote for less extreme team-building exercises from now on.

Edited 2023-05-26 03:20 (UTC)

[Leo can't help but snort, leaning a little more heavily against Donnie.]

I dunno... is this better or worse than the FAB spray?

[Accelerator won't understand that joke, alas, but Leo can't help but make it anyway. It's something lighter, after everything that happened.]

Donnie's right, though... Without you guys, I would've been stuck right at the start. So... yeah.

[Should they talk about it? Probably. Does he want to? Not really. He's content for the moment just leaning against Donnie, with Accelerator tucked under his other arm (tense as he is).]

[Yep, no idea what the hell FAN spray is. If Leo's bringing it up right now it probably isn't great, and the turtles have fucking weird lives, so Accelerator isn't sure he wants to know. Right now, anyways.

Besides! He's busy feeling an overwhelming sense of awkwardness as the two of them go on about future team-building and collaboration and oh godddd none of those things should apply to him. He isn't someone who is part of a team, this is just a temporary thing and even the slightest hope of it being otherwise were completely squashed with the appearance of the Sisters.

Even the briefest consideration towards them makes images of them bloody and Krangified flash through his head. That room might be back to normal but it's reminder of what he is is glued to his brain.

He is not a team player, especially with a couple of actual heroes. He's a piece of shit murderer.

He's silent as all that passes through his head. It's slowing down the whole "de-stress enough to do calculations" process, though Accelerator knows from personal experience that once these thoughts settle down and take root he'll be functional. So it's fine. He's going to stay quiet with they ramble about teamwork and FAB spray and so on.]

[Donnie's groan broke off with a choked laugh at the brief thought of them being stuck together in some new monstrosity.]

You know that was the improper use for it! Sure, it might've been a little amusing, looking back at it now but I think we'd just try to kill each other if we got stuck like that again.

[His voice has leveled out finally, the delivery dry, tinged with sarcasm. In other words, normal for Donnie. Still, he smirks a bit.

Leo's reluctant to talk further about the incident in that room and Donnie's of the same mind there. It's too fresh, and being just outside of the accursed place is still too close for comfort. That they're able to be talking and even joking a bit at all is progress at least, and it's a welcome thing.

Accelerator's silence doesn't go unnoticed though, especially now that Donnie's finally able to relax some. He glances past Leo, even as he lightly nudges his brother.]

[Donnie’s voice sliding back into its normal sarcastic lilt is definitely a welcome sign, and Leo feels another one of the knots in his chest come undone. He’ll be okay, and Donnie will be okay. They need to get away from here and properly decompress somewhere safe, but they’ll get through it.]

Yeah, I love that we’re all close, but maybe not like that.

[That just leaves the last part of their trio, and he notices the silence, Donnie’s nudge helping stir him to action.]

Still with us over there, Accy?

[He says it with all the good humor he can muster, turning to look at Accelerator again. He seems to be having a harder time calming down, just going by how tense he seems.

Leo has put together the pieces of what he thinks what they saw in the room meant - it’s disturbing, but Leo still thinks, as he did before, that if Accelerator is torturing himself this much over it, he’s already had a change of heart.

Whatever it is, Leo can’t forgive him for it, because that isn’t in his power. But he still believes what Accelerator told him when he revealed he joined the Society: he doesn’t want to hurt innocent people.]

[The two of them are starting to sound more like their typical selves, which is good. Accelerator's expression is remaining flat and sobered, even as relief creeps into his bones.

The floor is still cold and the overhead lighting is too bright, and he feels like he's going to rot from the inside out, but he's quietly realizing he's comfortable here with them. Leo's arm around his shoulders is nice and half-listening to them banter about some family in-joke is nice. If they weren't in the middle of a robbery this would probably be excessively normal.

He closes his eyes for a few moments. The growl from earlier when Leo asked if he wanted a hug is gone, though he still sounds pretty drained.]

... Tche. I am. I'm just thinking.

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