metalogs | ( open ) and what's the worst you take

( he does want space — jason is exhausting. so he turns after eyeing him for a second longer and slowly begins to walk away, boots heavy as he goes. )

I'm looking for someone.

( these guys on the ground just got in his way. so he did what he always does when someone starts trouble with him: he finished it. )

Looking for who?

( he has a guess in mind, but jason isn't voicing it. he's instead turning to--follow after bruce, just a couple steps behind him to his right. shoves both hands down into his jacket pockets. the pockets that look like they're supposed to be pockets, not any of the multiple ones he has hidden throughout it to hide toys. )

Someone I need to throw back in jail.

( or whatever version of that there might be here.

he doesn't bother to look back to jason — keeps walking with those heavy steps, surveying the area around them as they go. he's tired but he's also frustrated. with a lot of things and the fact that he can't find the one he's going to end up having such a messed up relationship with over the years that he can't even begin to fathom. )

You're not gonna find him like this.

( or maybe he just might. joker does love to make a scene for bruce, and bats showing his face around central is a surefire way to draw him out. )

But if you're gonna keep trying, do it somewhere else. He knows who all of us are, even if you don't. Pulling him out here'll just give him the perfect ammo to use against you, even if you don't think of it like that.

( a hand raises, the one that's closest to bruce, up to his neck. to scratch at an old scar. )

( oh. that reminds him. )

He needs better gear.

( a beat, in case jason hasn't clocked who he's referring to yet. )

I caught him running around in sunglasses and a hoodie trying to help. He needs to be protected if he's going to be out like that.

( dick, he means. )

( well that's--not at all where he expected this to go. he'd scold dick, but that's a bruce move and jason isn't bruce. dick can do what he wants. he's got several years of crime fighting under his belt, he's smart, he won't be stupid. he could have gotten hurt. the idiot. )

I'm working on it. ( building up new robin gear from scratch, or - whatever dick decides to go by now with how many of them are wandering around. robin was his, it'd be a dick move to take it when he's still. . robin. )

Not that it's any of your business.

Edited 2023-07-14 20:32 (UTC)

( it's that last part there that has bruce stop mid-step and turn to face jason. when he does, jason's met with the full brutal scope of how intimidating batman can be as he stares him down in such a harsh way, you'd think he was seconds away from bursting a vein. )

If he gets hurt because he's not protected, it's going to be my business.

( voice low in a way that nearly shakes with authority, he keeps staring down jason. )

He trusts you. Don't make him regret it.

( what a way to make jason go from walking beside bruce, to ready to shoot him in the face. he's used to that voice. he's heard it directed at him many times, in numerous contexts. he turns in towards bruce, too. takes a step closer even, gets right into his space so when he opens his mouth, when he does his best batman growl, it's being shoved right into bruce's face. )

I ain't you. Not this you, not the you I know. I don't take in sad little kids with dead mommies and daddies, or ones who never cared about 'em, give 'em a place to belong, then send them out in bright colors to play distraction while I fuck over idiots on the streets of Gotham. If it were up to me, he wouldn't be out there at all. But it's not, is it? I can't tell him no, 'cause then he's going to go and do it behind my back. I can't police the shit he does, 'cause then he isn't going to trust me when shit comes up. I'd know, 'cause that's how I died.

( a step closer, and he juts his chin out. manages a look that fits between petulant child and bruce's signature batman scowl. )

Go to hell.

( for as much as jason doesn't budge, neither does bruce and he hardly seems fazed by jason's own attempt at pushing back against him. emotionally, that is. )

You can make sure he's not running around on the streets in a hoodie for a costume.

( pulling away then, he turns to continue walking. frustrated, but. jason seems good at making him feel that way, he's noticed. )

( one day, he'll be able to have a conversation with bruce that doesn't end in jason getting pissed off enough to really fight him. today is not one of those days. bruce pulls away, and jason's immediately taking a step forward into him with a fist raised.

half of bruce's face is visible, clearly that's a great place to hit him. )

( sadly for jason, this has become predictable for him and so bruce is anticipating this. when he hears the step being taken, he twists — raises an arm to block the punch against his gauntlet and shoves at jason to push him back. )

I don't have time for your temper tantrums, Jason.

( bruce pushes, and jason pushes back. shoves a good bit of his weight behind the arm he's got up against bruce's gauntlet. doesn't move in for another hit, not yet, he'll get there.

first, )

If you've got time to fuck around Central looking for Joker, you've got time for me.

Not when you start acting out like a child.

( no wonder he got caught.

the weight he shoves towards him, bruce shoves back. hard. meaning to push jason away from him. a growl of frustration there on his lips as he does. )

( it's always bruce that drags out this side of him. always bruce, that makes jason forget everything he's learned, makes him forget how to control himself, makes him want to hit and kick and scream until he's burned himself out and then some. it's his stupid voice, the stupid cowl, the way he always seems like he's disappointed in jason for something--he'd told kyle that bruce being younger was better, he wasn't jason's bruce, he hasn't made those mistakes yet. and yet--here he is, finding just the right way to wheedle his way under jason's skin in just the wrong way.

just like he is now, calling jason a child. bruce shoves him back, and jason's sneering as he takes that step back that bruce is trying to force him into. and then he's raising a leg to throw a wide kick at bruce's gut. it isn't the kick he's hoping to land, it's the shadow that follows his leg as it swings towards bruce--a second hard hit, moving at him with just as much force as is behind jason's leg. )

( bruce can't keep this up because one, he doesn't want to and two, he's tired. from the hours of researching, to the hours of searching on the streets. trying to find some reason— some purpose for being here in a place with so many things stacked against him. if not joker, then what?

so when that kick— those kicks come, he lets himself take them. lets them hit him and knock him down to the ground with a resounding thud, to which he simply lays there on his back. breath slow but steady.

there's a thought that touches him in that moment — a thought he typically doesn't let himself think nor feel because he can't, but. he thinks it. he thinks it and he closes his eyes as he does... and he lets himself sink slowly into the shadows that pool underneath him, devouring him. not a single care in where they may take him. )

Edited 2023-07-14 21:48 (UTC)

( bruce falls, and jason doesn't expect it. he expects the first block, which is why he pulled in with a second hit. but there was no block, and bruce is taking two hits before he's falling down onto the ground and--

--what, trying to escape? he's still for a moment, but then jason sees those shadows licking up his sides, and it pisses him off even more. he's quickly taking a few steps forward, dropping down to shove a knee against bruce's chest with a hand fisting in whatever fabric he can find to grab onto. leans into him, into the shadows, because if bruce is going to fade back into them, jason is coming with him. )

No, asshole, you don't get to just run away from this.

( for a moment, he thinks he's sinking into the center of his bed back home. back in gotham. countless mornings have felt like this sometimes. where he simply sinks into the darkness that wraps around him when he closes his eyes and drifts. if only it were that.

when he feels the sudden weight there against his chest, his eyes just barely flicker open before he's letting them fall shut again. he can't even find it within him right now to be even more frustrated with jason. so, instead, he lets out a breath and his words are nothing but sincere as he continues to sink. )

Let me go. It's better you do.

( for him. for them. but mostly for jason. )

You can't tell me what to do, Bats.

( how's that for acting out like a child? bruce doesn't move to shove him off, he just lays there, eyes closed, and jason hates that too. hates how he just--fuck if jason knows. it's not him giving up, bruce never gives up. it's him underestimating jason, isn't it? fuck him. jason doesn't let go, but he does reach up with the hand that isn't holding onto bruce. reaches for the cowl, so he can take it off. he wants to see bruce's face, wants to look him dead in the eye without the cowl between them. )

( ordinarily, he'd snap awake at the feel of someone trying to remove his mask. what was it? having assaulted three police officers for trying to do so before gordon got him to cooperate?

regardless, the cowl comes off and bruce is left unmasked there in the pool of shadows beneath him, lapping at his arms and shoulders, wanting to pull him under further.

for a moment, he's still. eerily so. until, finally, he slowly flickers those eyes just barely open again through the smeared greasepaint across them, and his eyes are so blue. like jason's. )

( better. bruce looks up at him, and jason tears off his mask so he can look down at him, blues to blues. his gaze is steady, lacking the heat it would have held if this had happen just moments prior. jason sucks in a breath through his nose, lets it out through his mouth. )

You're not him. ( it's quiet. voiced just loud enough for it to sit between them, not meant for anyone else's ears. not that there's anyone here, but. ) And I'm not either. You hear me?

( even if the words are starting--to sound like jason's escalating, he's still keeping his voice steady. quiet. )

You've got all of us here. All of the kids he's raised, trained, taught everything he knew an' then some. Learn from his mistakes. Pick shit up from us. Stop being an asshole. Stop being an idiot. The Joker here ain't yours, he's got years of fucking with B under his belt whereas you're just a rookie.

Edited 2023-07-14 23:32 (UTC)

( though the shadowy pool still remains there underneath him — underneath them, it doesn't seek to pull him under as it had been before. rather, it gently sways back and forth beneath them, as if waiting — as if considering, much like bruce himself is as jason speaks.

and, much like jason, his own voice remains quiet when he finally finds it. )

I saw what Joker did to Robin here.

( he swallows. jaw tight. dissociating for just a moment before he comes back. breath on his lips. )

He didn't even do anything for him. Didn't hunt Joker down and make him answer for what he did to him. What he did to you.

( he being the bruce— the batman they all know. the one before him. yeah. that's also something he's been dealing with on top of everything else. )

( bruce catches him off guard.

there's a lot jason could have expected, here. he expected bruce to tell him off. expected him to try and throw him off. tell him to shut up, do anything, but not this.

he doesn't expect the way bruce's jaw clenches. the way he talks about what joker did, the sentiment that so closely ties into the same shit jason had said all those years ago. the way he feels about joker. jason's jaw clenches, too, but significantly less like he's holding back anger--like he had been--and more like he's trying to fight back tears.

he had cried, holding a gun to joker's head. when he told bruce to choose: kill joker, or watch jason do it for him. felt even worse when bruce made his own option and slit jason's throat to get him off joker.

but he doesn't here. his voice gentles, betrays the weight of emotion behind it, just a little, )

I know. Trust me, I know. But you're not gonna get anywhere like this. Not anywhere good.

( it's the fact that he's dealing with the riddler on top of penguin and the mob back in gotham and feeling like he's getting nowhere with any of it that adds to the frustration with joker here. because it's the same. getting nowhere and like back in gotham, he begins to wonder if it's even worth it sometimes. to keep going like this. to keep fighting.

but deep down, he knows he still has to try and that extends to even here. with what's happened.

he can hear the way jason's voice changes some and it has him watching the other's face — blue eyes so similar to his. quiet. reading everything there on his face that he doesn't dare say. taking a breath for himself, he lets his gaze drift off. )

If vengeance is served, then it doesn't matter what happens to me.

( because that's what he is: vengeance. )

( he's so new. jason's heard bruce bitch about how it's justice, not vengeance so many fucking times. he knows it--had been this way for bruce, once upon a time. when he was young, new, when he was full of hurt and a need to punish. but that's not the bruce jason knew. his knee stays on bruce's chest, weight pressing down against it. the grip on the fabric of his uniform doesn't lessen, either. jason doesn't move away, he just stays right where he is.

watching bruce carefully. tries to steady himself a little, because it sure would be a shame if he let bruce break him down. )

You've met them, haven't you? The kids. ( tim and dick. the two robins that shouldn't be so little but are and it's still fucking jason up. he knew damn well he's a shit choice to keep an eye on dick, but somehow he moved dick into his place anyway. tim is--someone jason shouldn't be around, ever, but that's another problem. all of this is another problem. irrelevant. ) They look up to you. You're the person they turn to when they need someone, and it doesn't matter if you're not the one they're used to. Back home, he'd bitch about how it's not vengeance, it's justice he needs to fight for. Batman is a symbol, someone even the alleyrats look for when shit goes south for 'em. I get you're chasing your vendetta, but if you're gonna bitch at me about keeping Dick safe, you'd better do your part and not act like a shithead intent on digging his own grave.

( words jason should take to heart, too. but what fun is that. )

( he has to wonder how long jason plans on pressing his knee into his chest because, while the batsuit helps cushion it some, jason's still heavy.

though he knows, in part, it's a means to keep him here with him — to keep him from slipping into the darkness pooled out beneath him which, ironically enough, has varying levels of meaning to it which so few can either see or understand; jason seems to be one of those few.

staring to him for a long moment there through the black greasepaint smeared across his face, he closes his eyes and lets himself sigh a little to himself. )

You're heavy.

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