metalogs | ( closed ) twisted steel beneath my knees

( there's a part of him that reads between the lines with what he's saying. but there's the other part of bruce— the batman part of him that has him pivoting to face jason and when he stares to him, it's sharp and purely the dark knight he is. )

He came to me and put his trust in me to do something about it. Not Kyle, not Diana, not Dick, not you. Me, and if something happens, that's on me and I have to live with that. Just like I have to live with what Riddler did to Alfred because he was one step ahead of me.

( it's a look he's plenty familiar with, and jason's mirroring it back to bruce even if most of it is covered by his own mask. doesn't go for the tone, because it's unnecessary. )

It doesn't matter if I tell you while you're here. You get that, don't you? You fuck off from here an' go home, and whatever you learned is just - gone. It's not gonna help you against your Superman. All it's gonna do is make you get obsessive over trying to find a way to weaken him here. Then you'll obsess over trying to retain that, even if it's fucking pointless.

( jaw tight, he doesn't do anything but shake his head at jason. )

He shows up here and anything happens, I'm holding all of you responsible for any deaths by his hands.

( turning, his cape flows behind him as he starts to walk again. )

Including my own.

( bruce starts walking, but jason stays right where he's at. doesn't move an inch. takes a breath in, and lets it out. )

The Batman who killed Joker, the one I thought I wanted all along - I watched him get his skull punched in by a Superman. Not ours. I saw his brains splatter across the cement.

( another nightmare. kyle was there too, as was donna. they - get it. but he's not bringing them into this part of the conversation. )

I know the risks, and the costs if I do tell you. So you're just gonna have to trust me here.

( he keeps walking, steps slow so as to be able to hear jason and for jason to hear him. hearing that a superman kills a version of him only confirms his suspicions that he's capable of doing just that. that the warning he'd been given was to be taken as seriously as bruce has felt it was.

jason asking for his trust just gets bruce to huff a soft sound of... something under his breath. it's not entirely amusement. it's a little too disappointed to be. )

Trust's a two-way street. You're asking me to trust all of you, when none of you trust me. Because you keep comparing me to the him you know. ( their bruce. )

( he was about to talk to bruce. tell him something he hasn't told his own bruce. talk it through with him, before bruce interrupted with what sounded like a snide side comment. that's more trust than anyone else has gotten out of him. he hasn't talked to anyone about it.

and yet here is bruce, bitching about them not telling him shit. )

Fine. Tell me that if I tell you, you're not gonna spend the next who the hell knows how long obsessively finding a way you can take advantage of it. That you're not going to make plans to take him out.

( a huff. he stops. )

Sure. I won't come up with a way to stop him in the event that a Superman shows up looking to slaughter everyone. I'll just sit on that and do nothing to be prepared for it.

( that's sarcasm. )

You want me to trust you enough to tell you, but you're saying you're gonna do the thing I'm telling you we're all concerned you're gonna do. Which you're bitching about 'cause it's us comparing you to him, but you're planning the same thing.

( do you see the problem here, bruce. )

I'm insulted by all of you that you wouldn't think I would try to get a feel for whatever version of him shows up here as all of you did with me.

( a beat. )

Or do you just think you're the only ones who do that?

( he's a detective you know. )

Edited 2024-02-02 23:15 (UTC)

B.

( eyes narrowing under his mask, visible in the way his brow furrows above it. )

That Batman had one bad day, one bad incident and he went off the rails. Do you know how many other Batmans're out there who have one bad day an' turn that into everyone else's living nightmare?

And you think I'm one of them?

( there's disappointment there in his voice before he turns to keep walking into the darkness. )

Stay away from me then. If you're all so worried.

( jesus christ.

see, this would be a good point to argue that no, he doesn't, but there's always the risk and they've already given bruce damn near everything on them. that despite all the years of training jason has on bruce, he wouldn't be able to take him down. not because he's stronger, or better, but because despite him not being their bruce, he's still - bruce. that bruce himself keeps contingencies on contingencies on all of them. that he's trying to get information for yet another contingency. that, if bruce already knew what he's after, he'd be disappointed in the rest of them for spilling it to any other bruce. and that's not - jason comparing them. that's just going off of shit he's learned from this one.

he thinks about walking away. of just turning around and letting them go their separate ways. they're both capable of handling themselves, they'd be fine in here alone. it's what bruce is asking for, and even if jason came all the way in here for him - fuck him if this is how he's going to be when he's getting bitchy over clark.

instead, he opens his mouth, )

I was telling Rayner about--a child trafficking ring Talia sent me to for training. To relearn to fight, since I'd learned how to with restraint so I didn't kill anyone. I was telling him that I'd. . . gotten most of 'em out, but who the hell knows how many kids suffered because I didn't get them out fast enough. You know what he said?

He said I deserved to be saved. That I can hate what they did, and what they chose to do. But I deserved to be saved. An' I freaked out. I thought he knew. I haven't talked about it, not with anyone.

( it'd be easier if they went their separate ways, wouldn't it?

jason can handle himself as much as bruce can— well. provided another shadow joker doesn't pop up. he's not too sure how jason would react to that, but. they're still both capable. and maybe it's for the best they part ways. here. if they ever get out. this is already the longest either of them have spent in each other's company and it's clearly taking a toll on the both of them. this is why bruce wonders why jason even bothered to come in after him. wishes that he hadn't because of course they've ended up here. almost as if it's inevitable.

he expects jason to just leave, but. then again. since when does jason ever do what he asks or tells him to? so it's really no surprise when he doesn't. when he goes and starts talking again and bruce is ready to simply ignore it. leave it behind him because he's fed up, disappointed, and a myriad of other things he doesn't want to feel or deal with right now. but the more he listens to what jason says, the more he finds himself unable to ignore it.

once again, his steps slow and he stops. standing there in silence within the darkness. within their darkness. )

( bruce is bitching about trust. jason doesn't know how else to - express it to him. he should have left. should have turned around and stomped off. left him on his own, because bruce asked for it. but he doesn't. jason talks instead, and bruce stops. listens, but doesn't say a word. jason's not sure if that makes it easier or harder, just that - he's not hearing pity or disappointment or anything else coming from bruce that'd make him shut up.

so he doesn't. )

When B "died" the first time around, he left all of us messages. He said I was broken, that we shouldn't've kept secrets, that he should've fucking repaired me instead of making me Robin. I know that's not how he meant it. He's shit with words. But hell - that's the kind of shit that just--sticks with you, you know?

( his back is turned to jason still and the only movement that seems to come from him is in the form of his cape flowing behind him every now and then. the breeze here in this place isn't warm or even cold as you'd feel depending on the weather and temperature. it just feels empty. like parts of them both are.

it's only after a moment that he turns some. slowly. just barely, even. enough to look to jason out of the corner of his eye, still without saying anything, and more to look to him. maybe a little through him. to the depth of those words and how they feel to jason. how he still carries them with him, even if he might never talk about it.

except that he is now. )

( bruce can look at jason all he wants, because jason isn't returning the favor. his head's tipped down, lips twisted into something almost painful. )

No one here knows. 'less Junior does, but I know he didn't--fuck around with Talia either, so our histories don't exactly match. I'm not gonna ask. ( he laughs, but it comes out hollow. ) He dodged a bullet there. I'm almost jealous.

( he is jealous. pissed. sad. a fucked up mess of emotions jason doesn't know how to describe. his skin crawls just thinking about it. )

No one knows. Except you.

( the steps his takes towards jason are slow and soft. not as a means to sneak up on him, but more that the moment itself feels quieter. gentler than the revving up of more heated emotions as had been happening earlier between them.

when he finally comes up to jason, he stops. stands there in front of him. continued silence, the floor is still jason's. at least until he brings a gloved hand up and gently places it on jason's shoulder. )

No one needs to know. About anything. Unless you want them to.

( that is to say, bruce won't say anything to anyone. not about this or what happened with that joker. )

( bruce's hand lands on his shoulder and jason flinches but doesn't move away from it. it's instinct more than anything else, he doesn't - mean to. )

I know.

( a slow breath in through his mouth, and jason lets it out through his nose. reaches a hand out to grab onto bruce's wrist. his voice is quiet, softer than usual. it lacks the hard edge it gets when he's being aggressive, the snarky lilt when jason's causing shit. )

But I told you. I trusted you with it. Not 'cause I needed to, but I, ( lips pressed together tight, while he--tries to think through the right way to word this. ) I freaked out.

( he keeps his hand there, what with jason not pushing or knocking it off. )

Do you still feel freaked out?

Not the same way I did.

( because it's bruce. it's different, telling someone who is but isn't jason's father figure. he's still holding onto bruce's wrist, grip loose enough he can get out of it if he wants to but firm enough to make it clear he's trying to keep hold of him. )

I haven't trusted anyone else with--that. Wasn't even something I meant to tell B.

( asserting, again, how much he trusts bruce here. )

So I don't wanna hear shit about not trusting you.

Edited 2024-02-03 02:33 (UTC)

( the hand remains, a means to keep this... whatever... connection they have in this moment here while they can. tethered to one another in a way only those with a darkness as deep as theirs can really withstand. can understand, if even to an extent. )

Do you really think I'll use whatever you tell me in bad faith? Not based off whatever other versions you've dealt with. Me. Standing right here with you.

No.

( the answer comes quick, because there's no question to it. no doubt in his mind. and then he's - raising eyes up to meet bruce's own. )

If I did, I wouldn't've told you any of my bullshit. But Superman's shit isn't mine to tell.

( he gave it another shot, but also expected this. he still doesn't know if that's the sole reason for keeping it from him, or if they really all do worry he might use it in bad faith. bruce is forever suspicious. he just... can't not be. not when the weights are so heavy on his shoulders. he doesn't pull his hand away from jason's shoulder, even as he lets his gaze drop. quiet, for just a moment. )

I still have to know. Because I can't risk not.

( he'd never forgive himself if he could prevent or stop some psychotic version that's possibly killed some version of him somewhere from doing anything to anyone here at some point. even if it's not likely. even if he's not here right now. bruce doesn't deal with it when it happens. he prepares for it. )

You understand.

( he's not asking jason to tell him. he's just telling him that he will find out. )

No one'll blame you.

( well. jason won't. but he's also not going to help bruce along, which he's fairly certain he's made obvious. another moment of - standing there. looking at bruce, watching him, before jason releases his wrist and starts walking again. they don't really have ground to cover so much as space to explore. he's not planning on getting anywhere any time soon, but standing still doesn't sound great either. so. )

Sure did a great job of getting away from all of us. Next time? Try an' keep yourself from making jumps through fucky shadows.

( changing the topic, except jason immediately backslides right to where they had been. )

If some fucked version of him shows up, I'll give you all the ammo you need.

( it would be easier if they just told him. he's bruce The Batman wayne. of course he's going to find out. he always does. but he follows after jason after a moment, cape flowing slowly behind him as he does. )

I'll keep it in mind.

( about disappearing somewhere else, the jason will help him if some psychotic superman shows up... who's to say. maybe both. either way, he glances around them as he goes. )

I left here before. ( he says then. ) Back in December. I went back to my Gotham.

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