( open ) dreamers are selfish when it all comes down to it

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki Odinson (dothelokimotion) + You
What: Day in the Life + Monthly stuff for June
When: Month of June
Where: Loki's Apartment, Theatre, etc.
Content Warnings: N/A for now

Mix of closed/open prompts in comments below + PM if you want something specific.

Comments

[thecoolerloki]

Technically. Yet also technically I'm barely a year old. [he shifts back fully now, already tired of pointy ears and swirly markings.] He reminds me of how my brother used to be.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki had wondered if he would bring that up. ]

He seemed different. Much quieter than I would expect of any Thor.

[thecoolerloki]

I've seen him at three different ages now. This one is... I think he only recently learned of my death.

[dothelokimotion]

Then he must be grieving still. And harbouring his own guilt.

[thecoolerloki]

It's been years since I died, though.

[Is he bitter it took that long for him to realize. Hm!]

[dothelokimotion]

[ there's that loki salt. ]

Has it been years for him?

[thecoolerloki]

Yes!

[dothelokimotion]

I know you wanted him to notice. To realize and seen through it all.

But that has never been Thor's talent.

[thecoolerloki]

Ikol and I are completely different people, same as you and I. I never expected him to understand the nuance of it all, it's far too meta for someone other than Loki to grasp at.

But...

[But. It makes him feel as if Thor never knew him at all. As if he'd be fine with any Loki, so long as they took the right form.]

[dothelokimotion]

But it feels like a crime. To be erased, to be forgotten. For all the vaunted love and feeling that remains between us . . . It should matter to know when we're snuffed out, the world ends.

[thecoolerloki]

If we’re forgotten, it’s as if we never existed.

[He thinks back to what happened to Ikol. While their fears had manifested differently, they all shared them in one way or another.]

Your Thor can’t have moved on yet. And if he did, I’ll rewrite him. ... I’ve never written Thor, could be fun.

[It’s a lot easier to focus on fixing this Loki’s stuff than think about how much he still kinda wants to kill Thor.]

[dothelokimotion]

I imagine it would be.

But I can handle it.

[ and it didn't feel right, rewriting thor. undying fidelity was on his lips. he swore on it. as tempting as it was, he didn't want to take it back. ]

[thecoolerloki]

Now that I think of it, just seeing me again for a bit might be enough to make him feel guilty and apologize to you for everything.

[dothelokimotion]

I don't think he would know what he's apologizing for.

[ unless it is loki dying, but loki doesn't bear thor any ill will for that. it was either him or loki . . . and the choice was obvious. ]

But feel free to tease him.

[thecoolerloki]

He doesn’t seem to like me. Or rather, doesn’t like seeing us at this age.

Did you used to tease him like this?

[dothelokimotion]

I don't think he knows you yet, that's all.

I played tricks on him as a child, but nothing severe. Just a few stabbings here and there.

[thecoolerloki]

I thought you might have shifted into a child in order to manipulate him, or something of that nature.

Otherwise I couldn’t figure out why this form would scare him the same way seeing a Zombie Thor scares me. I’m quite handsome and likable, after all.

[dothelokimotion]

That you are.

As I said, most likely, he simply doesn't know you. And seeing you look much like myself as a child must have startled him.

[thecoolerloki]

Mm. I think he’d be less startled seeing you like this.

That’s what you were afraid of, correct?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he falls quiet for a moment. ]

We grew up thinking the worst of Frost Giants. Thor in particular would boast about killing them. In fact, when I learned the truth, he had been smashing them with his hammer.

It's what got him banished to Earth. He's never seen me like this and I intend to make sure he never will.

[thecoolerloki]

Suppose I’ll show him my Jotun form then.

[dothelokimotion]

If you like.

[thecoolerloki]

We’ll see if he reacts like a child or not and then you can show him yours.

[dothelokimotion]

I'm not sure I would. Even after that.