( closed ) what good is love that no one shares?

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki Odinson (dothelokimotion), Kyle (torchbearer) + You
What: Engagements! Dates! Making sure Sunset Falls doesn't collapse! And other things.
When: August Catchall
Where: Sunset Falls, Central, etc
Content Warnings: N/A, will change if necessary

( prompts will be listed in comments. please reach out to timmtams / pm if you want something specific! )

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ he hums. ]

One thing Sephiroth has taught me is that my own self-esteem hurts him just as much. And that is something I do not wish to do anymore.

That is the root of it. Not knowledge, not possibility. But a crippling sense of worth that plagues you.

[portolan]

I suppose I've never thought of it that way.

[ And he is thoughtful about it. That has been the heart of their friction, when one of them lets his own self-esteem hurt them both. ]

And it always comes down to trust -- trusting we are worthy is a faith of sorts, isn't it? Hardest to talk ourselves into it when we need it most.

[dothelokimotion]

On Asgard, there was a hammer. Only those who could lift it were worthy.

[ he shrugs, nonchalant. ]

I never managed it, no matter how hard I tried.

But the hammer itself was a lie. Whose standards of worthiness are we aspiring to?

[portolan]

Nonsense like that is always tricks with gods. Humans too I suppose.

I relate, aspiring to the wrong standards for far too long. Things have been better since I recalibrated that.

[dothelokimotion]

Yes, I imagine they would be. Nothing is less satisfying than chasing after your worth.

[portolan]

The harder you chase it, the farther it gets away.

[dothelokimotion]

Is that not the point of it?

[portolan]

To dishearten and exhaust us? I rather think it is, intentional or not.

Took me a long time to realize the people who won't accept you often hate themselves. Or at the very least resent you for being your own person.

[dothelokimotion]

At least you arrived at that conclusion.

[ it was a little more complicated with loki. he was loved, but love hadn't been enough. ]

[portolan]

If we mortals don't do so quick enough, we end up locked in for our whole lives.

[ He shrugs it off like it wasn't his clawing obsession for near ten years, and that it doesn't still keep him up at night. ]

[dothelokimotion]

Like you're not right now?

[portolan]

Perhaps I am. But, truth be told, I like this one, for the most part.

[dothelokimotion]

You like it?