( open ) dreamers are selfish when it all comes down to it

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki Odinson (dothelokimotion) + You
What: Day in the Life + Monthly stuff for June
When: Month of June
Where: Loki's Apartment, Theatre, etc.
Content Warnings: N/A for now

Mix of closed/open prompts in comments below + PM if you want something specific.

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

[ that draws a wry smile from him. ]

It's true, you and I don't have that luxury. No matter what promises or hopeful messages people give us.

[thecoolerloki]

But if you point that out then they start making more and more promises and blaming you for being upset.

[Speaking of people like that,]

How are things with Thor, BTW?

[dothelokimotion]

It's best to let them say their piece and nod along.

[ the mention of thor has him going pensive. ]

It's all right. We haven't talked about . . . before.

[thecoolerloki]

Yours thought I was a product of his nightmares. So I imagine it weighs deeply on him, even if he's hesitant to discuss it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ ah. ]

It would have been his third time, seeing me like that. But Stephen told me he moved on. He even left Asgard for the stars.

[thecoolerloki]

Noah fence, but Thor running away from home doesn't sound like "moving on".

[dothelokimotion]

He's done it before. Always chasing after the illusion of being a good man.

[thecoolerloki]

And avoiding any more complicated feelings. So, not moving on.

[dothelokimotion]

[ maybe? a part of him feels a little salty about thor leaving asgard, when loki sacrificed so much to make sure their people were okay. he's digging his heels in because no matter how many times thor said he mourned, loki never saw the evidence of it. the very idea seemed ridiculous, no matter how much loki wished it was true. ]

I suppose it's possible.

[thecoolerloki]

Why else would he fear seeing us at this age? He's def guilty.

[dothelokimotion]

I don't know how to bring it up with him.

[thecoolerloki]

Then force him to bring it up himself!

[dothelokimotion]

[ he huffs. ]

That'd be easy enough, I suppose.

[thecoolerloki]

[Loki nods,]

Mm! I doubt he'll even realize you're doing it. He seems very young, in that way.

[dothelokimotion]

We both are, compared to you.

[thecoolerloki]

Technically. Yet also technically I'm barely a year old. [he shifts back fully now, already tired of pointy ears and swirly markings.] He reminds me of how my brother used to be.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki had wondered if he would bring that up. ]

He seemed different. Much quieter than I would expect of any Thor.

[thecoolerloki]

I've seen him at three different ages now. This one is... I think he only recently learned of my death.

[dothelokimotion]

Then he must be grieving still. And harbouring his own guilt.

[thecoolerloki]

It's been years since I died, though.

[Is he bitter it took that long for him to realize. Hm!]

[dothelokimotion]

[ there's that loki salt. ]

Has it been years for him?

[thecoolerloki]

Yes!

[dothelokimotion]

I know you wanted him to notice. To realize and seen through it all.

But that has never been Thor's talent.

[thecoolerloki]

Ikol and I are completely different people, same as you and I. I never expected him to understand the nuance of it all, it's far too meta for someone other than Loki to grasp at.

But...

[But. It makes him feel as if Thor never knew him at all. As if he'd be fine with any Loki, so long as they took the right form.]

[dothelokimotion]

But it feels like a crime. To be erased, to be forgotten. For all the vaunted love and feeling that remains between us . . . It should matter to know when we're snuffed out, the world ends.