( OPEN ) it's like i'm looking down

[ikols]

Who: loki ikols
What: those who contacted loki about wanting to figure out their universal designation via his new spell are undergoing it
When: [sliding timeline]
Where: central city park & other locations
Content Warnings: tba

[ Away from others in a pleasant little aesthetically cultivated grove, Loki has draped his coat over a boulder and has his sleeves rolled up as he awaits those with appointments to undergo his new spell. He warned them of the unpleasant side-effects (re-living the best and worst moments of their life) and he has a little bag stuffed with pain-killers, bottles of water, tissues, chocolate biscuits for sugar crashers??? He doesn't know how some may react but assumes that anyone who knows what they might experience feels it is a price worth paying to learn their universal designation.

When you arrive, he hitches up a smile and beckons you over under the dappled sunlight. ]

There you are!

Comments

(closed to stephen)

[ikols]

[ After seeking out Stephen about the spell, Loki appears on the street of the sorcerer's home and walks up to knock on the front door, a bag of Chinese food slung over a shoulder. Rap-rap-rap!

He lets himself in, peering around the atrium with a whistle. ]

Helloooo?

[rehandle]

[ It takes a minute for him to appear at the top of the stairs, summoned more by the unmissable surfeit of magic approaching then entering the building than the voice that the house carries to him in spite of the floors that separate them.

In lieu of a greeting, a quick come on tilt of his head. ]

Come up. We can eat in the study.

[ The study that remains fortified against external magical detection from the time he needed to keep a handful of guests a secret from the kid they were about to exorcise. It's a handy nook for when he wants a little privacy. ]

[ikols]

[ Loki's boots clack on the hardwood as he follows up the stairs. ]

I would try something droll like "so how many skeletons do you have in your closet now" but I feel like I would get an actual number. [ Trot, trot, trot! He catches up soon enough with long strides, attention roaming onto Stephen. ] Do you want to eat before or after?

[ ... He has to waggle his brows, it's too easy. ]

just found this in the DEPTHS of my inbox, no pressure to carry on!

[rehandle]

I'll take your recommendation on that.

[ He seems to remember mentions of probable nausea when Loki had advertised his particular spell publicly... ]

[portolan]

[ Balthier considered bringing his bike, but given the "reliving the worst days of your life" possible side effects, he figured transport that relied on his energy wasn't the best call.

Honestly that part makes him almost change his mind, but he's extremely curious about this sort of map, and he's been a little if not homesick, then extremely aware how different his world is lately. He's curious what that looks like in some spatial-temporal way.

And maybe he's a little afraid if something were to happen, no one would even know where to look for him. So he's here. ]

I'd almost think you were excited to see me.

[ikols]

Almost.

[ He finishes rolling up his sleeves and gestures in front where the sunshine is falling. ]

I hope you ate something.

[portolan]

Little late for that advice.

[ He absolutely ate something, and positions himself where Loki gestures. ]

Should I be concerned I'm going to fall on my ass and you're going to get a good laugh from it?

[ikols]

I would have my phone out, were that the objective.

[ Tony Stark is so lucky he can record things with his eyeballs. ]

Close your eyes and ignore me, the sounds of the park. [ Loki paces around Balthier. ] Think of your favourite memories, the very best, then the very worst if you can. I want you to focus on these events as if they happened yesterday. If you feel anything warm or cold, ignore that too.

[portolan]

[ He supposes that's a fair point, but he has no real grasp on what the limits of magic or technology are here, person to person. Besides, he accepted that risk in coming here.

The instructions are easy enough, similar to his magical studies in his youth -- clearing one's mind, focusing, ignoring side sensations. The worst memory comes easier; it's been on his mind the last few days, bidden or not. At least it has some use today.

He lets it come. Ending his father with his own hand. That face. Not offended, not disappointed. Accepting, like this was all that would ever be. His words -- that Balthier only runs.

The god's influence, gone, and his father's cruelty still there. That was the wound, wasn't it? The one he hadn't dared touch since he'd arrived. That he'd never been enough, never could have been. That it was always going to end that way. That he'd had no choice. That for all his cowardice, he was pulled back in.

If Loki's looking, he'll see the weight of it cross Balthier's face, but he's otherwise stoic. ]

Have you done this before?

[ Not that it changes anything. It's just a deflecting habit. ]

[ikols]

[ Green magic spins from his fingertips like spider-threads and circles Balthier, hair-thin tendrils connecting with him all over his body. The swirling spell rushes and swells, slowing now and then like a relaxing lung filled with emotions, its touch cold whenever a bad memory takes precedence. ]

Absolutely, just keep remembering.

[portolan]

[ He's cold enough to have gooseflesh, but it's of course concealed under long sleeves and pants. He is going to enjoy every last cool day.

He isn't sure if it's the magic or that he's just finally letting the memories out. His mother dying. His relationships falling apart. Being betrayed. The day he was made a Judge. So, so cold.

But there's also Fran's face. The first time she told him he was an idiot -- correct of course -- and stuck with him anyway. There's some warmth in that, a smile even. He absolutely does not fight the flood of memories at just...five years with her. The only person who ever really knew him. Scions, he misses her. ]

[kid_flash_found]

Bart doesn't really know what to expect from something like a multiverse location detection spell or whatever the guy is calling it, but if it helps the people who want to go home find a way, or at least find a place to settle, he can't see a reason not to try. Even if he does have a bad track record with magic.

So he blurs to a halt with only a slight gust announcing his appearance, but in t-shirt and jeans instead of his uniform.

"So, when you say this will have unpleasant side-effects, what exactly did you mean?"

[ikols]

Sheeeeesh, speedsters. Who needs them?

"Hello to you too, Bart."

Totally not startled, at all, nope. Loki waves him into the middle of the grove and starts asking questions.

"You might barf if the memories stress your body out, so have you eaten or do you need to?"

[kid_flash_found]

"I'm always hungry, but I'm good for now. Besides, I remember everything so it's not like this isn't something I'm used to. I almost wish I could forget like other people," he said, shrugging a little.

[ikols]

"Oh, great, this may only be super traumatising for you."

Hands on his hips, he eyes him like a surgeon judging a patient. Or however Loki thinks a doctor would analyse someone just on first sight.

"You're not going to kick up a panicked whirlwind or something, are you?"

[kid_flash_found]

"I have to actually try to do whirlwinds. I'm more likely to vibrate than run. And why would reliving things be worse this way than, say, in nightmares?"

He doesn't mention that he's been known to shake the bed apart from those...

[ikols]

"You'll be connecting to your memories so deeply that my spell will be touching the source of your existence, your soul, if you want to get pretty about it. Like a harpoon, the spell uses your memories as targets and aims for the correct universe.

"The stronger the emotion, the sharper the aim."

[kid_flash_found]

"That sounds a lot like the black rings. One of those nearly put me on the wrong side of the zombie apocalypse..."

[kindofamazing]

[It would be a lie if Peter said he had zero apprehensions about all this because he has a lot. He's gone through a fair few trials in life, both before and after becoming Spider-Man, and there are some things he knows will be hard to face again as part of this process.

The thing that makes this all feel like something he very much wants and needs to undergo is Loki and the prospect of future-proofing them against the whims of a fickle and cruel multiverse.

And when he sees Loki there, all dotted and glittering in gold from the sun through the leaves, any nerves just melt away as he smiles back and hunches his shoulders up toward his ears.]

Here I am. And here you are.

[ikols]

Hello, dear.

[ His smile morphs into something more genuine when Peter is revealed, walking forward to give him a soft kiss by way of greeting. His hand runs over Peter's arm as he leads him to the centre of the grove. ]

I wasn't sure if you would show. Are you in need of something to eat to settle your stomach or would you prefer water? Or nothing? The spell can be emotionally draining, your body will feel all the emotions of the memories.

[kindofamazing]

[Still with the tingly butterflies in the stomach whenever he catches Loki smiling like that. And at him, even! Gosh! He's probably never going to get over that.]

You kinda of make it sound like maybe I should been fasting for twelve hours first, Dr. Loki.

[Maybe he's a little nervous, but the "hide your feelings under silly jokes and quips" hasn't failed him so far. Except in all the places it has.]

And why wouldn't I show? [He shifts his hand to catch the Asgardian's, giving a light squeeze.] I said I wanted to do this.

[ikols]

[ He squeezes Peter's hand back, leaning in to steal another kiss. ]

Alright. I need you to stand there and think of the good memories first, those that impacted you heavily during your life in your own world. Only the best to start, let's ease you into this.

[ Loki steps back, raising both hands to start igniting green spellwork around his fingers. ]

If you feel you can't handle the spell at any point, say Pineapple. I'll stop.

[kindofamazing]

[After the kiss, which feels like a little injection of courage, Peter closes his eyes and bounces on the spot a few times, shaking his arms out and exhaling through the o-shape his mouth makes as if he's psyching himself up to jump in an ice-cold pool or something.

As he starts to settle back down though and Loki lays out some expectations, he cracks open one eye as he attempts not to smile. And fails.]

You're picking safewords for me now?

[He closes his eye again then and takes a long, deep breath through his nose as he tries to focus, the corners of his eyes wrinkling slightly as his shoulders sag.]

Do I-- should I be narrating?

[ikols]

[ A slow-moving vortex of green smoke, littered with lime-bright runes, starts to encircle Peter and wind it's way up his body. Loki's lips twitch as he catches his eye and he raises a quelling brow. ]

No, love. Just replay the best moments of your life, over and over, until I ask you to stop. You can close your eyes.

[kindofamazing]

[Peter's expression betrays a wordless 'oh, okay, okay!' before he tries again to focus. Focus...

It's tricky to start with, Peter's mind being a place that typically runs in several different directions at once, but he does start to reel it in and play through some happier times.

Some are just snippets, fractions of childhood too brief and fleeting to form full images, but there are moments like holding his mother's hand and hugging his father's legs, that sort of thing, all from when he was very small.

And there are moments with May and Ben. There are a lot more of them. Small domestic non-moments in time. Dipping a finger in cake batter and getting swatted at with a towel. Putting up ugly holiday lights and trying to find the one damn bulb that had blown and broken the whole circuit. Bringing home science trophies--those start to blur into each other until they end up in a carboard box in the basement. It's popsicles in oppressively hot Queens summers.

And it's friendships too. Making friends with Harry when they were in Middle school, ribbing him over designer clothes and sunglasses and other incredibly stupid boyish jokes.

And of course, there's Gwen. All the caught glances and teenage butterflies. The jokes and the tenderness.

Loki certainly hasn't indicated that his mind should shift direction yet, but the memories of Gwen, even the happiest ones, are bitter-sweet as they cross his mind. It's unavoidable, impossible to just block his mind and emotions off from knowing where the story ends. It's not unbearable, not hard to handle like it was only a few months ago, he just can't turn off the sadness and regret creeping in at the edges, even after making his peace with it all.]