( open ) dreamers are selfish when it all comes down to it

[dothelokimotion]

Who: Loki Odinson (dothelokimotion) + You
What: Day in the Life + Monthly stuff for June
When: Month of June
Where: Loki's Apartment, Theatre, etc.
Content Warnings: N/A for now

Mix of closed/open prompts in comments below + PM if you want something specific.

Comments

[thecoolerloki]

Judging by your appearance, the Jotun of your universe look more like Asgardians. You don't actually look like Laufey at all, aside from the blue thing, obviously.

[dothelokimotion]

[ ah. loki considers this carefully. ]

I suppose that's true. I don't seem to resemble them much. I never really knew why.

[thecoolerloki]

I started shifting when I was younger, before I started to plan my escape.

[His eyes and skin shift back to their usual color, though his other Jotun features remain.]

But you were even younger than I, so perhaps your mother helped push your magic in the right direction.

[dothelokimotion]

Or Odin did. He was the one who found me. I have no memory of Jotunheim. Of the place. Of Laufey.

It was a lie they told me in hopes I would never feel wronged. But it happened anyway.

[thecoolerloki]

As I said, lucky. For the first part, I mean. The feeling wronged part always happens, I think that's a very core part of our story.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he nods slowly. loki is not sure he'd call it luck. maybe love after a fashion. because that's what it had been, even if he would have preferred the truth. ]

Everything was chaotic for a couple of years. I never had the time to extricate my thoughts on this.

[thecoolerloki]

At least you had a couple of years.

[The privilege of being alive longer than 2011-2012!]

Have I told you why I left Jotunheim?

[dothelokimotion]

I don't think so.

[thecoolerloki]

I wanted to destroy Asgard.

[dothelokimotion]

[ yeah,,, that sounds about right. ]

For what reason?

[thecoolerloki]

Stupid things. Power fantasies and the like.

And I was the Prince of Jotunheim to some degree. I knew that we could never win against Asgard, fighting the way we always did. Asgard could only be destroyed from the inside.

Those memories feel like a lifetime ago. I suppose because they were?

[dothelokimotion]

. . . It feels the same way. Looking back, I can see the reasons behind it. And yet, when I try to grasp those feelings, they slip through my fingers.

Now I just want to look forward. When I can.

[thecoolerloki]

But it's more difficult than everyone makes it seem. Everyone says to focus on the now or whatever, but they're all people who get to come back to life for real.

[dothelokimotion]

[ that draws a wry smile from him. ]

It's true, you and I don't have that luxury. No matter what promises or hopeful messages people give us.

[thecoolerloki]

But if you point that out then they start making more and more promises and blaming you for being upset.

[Speaking of people like that,]

How are things with Thor, BTW?

[dothelokimotion]

It's best to let them say their piece and nod along.

[ the mention of thor has him going pensive. ]

It's all right. We haven't talked about . . . before.

[thecoolerloki]

Yours thought I was a product of his nightmares. So I imagine it weighs deeply on him, even if he's hesitant to discuss it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ ah. ]

It would have been his third time, seeing me like that. But Stephen told me he moved on. He even left Asgard for the stars.

[thecoolerloki]

Noah fence, but Thor running away from home doesn't sound like "moving on".

[dothelokimotion]

He's done it before. Always chasing after the illusion of being a good man.

[thecoolerloki]

And avoiding any more complicated feelings. So, not moving on.

[dothelokimotion]

[ maybe? a part of him feels a little salty about thor leaving asgard, when loki sacrificed so much to make sure their people were okay. he's digging his heels in because no matter how many times thor said he mourned, loki never saw the evidence of it. the very idea seemed ridiculous, no matter how much loki wished it was true. ]

I suppose it's possible.

[thecoolerloki]

Why else would he fear seeing us at this age? He's def guilty.

[dothelokimotion]

I don't know how to bring it up with him.

[thecoolerloki]

Then force him to bring it up himself!